|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
The first match was carlito vs. sheldon. for about seven months (?) sheldon has held that title. then mr. cool of uncool comes and just yanks the carpet from under sheldon's feet. they did give it they're all. the match went on for, what felt like, ever. but tonight was also, not sheldon's night. the poor guy lost to a dude with a fro. i think that, instead of shirts, the wwe should sell carlito fros. dude, i'd buy one just for kicks. but i digress.
the next match was a big rival match. the bimbo christy hemme versus victoria. the pair have been fighting for about three weeks i wanna say. when king said christy won a bikini contest. victoria said she was sick of christy getting all the perks and not doing anything. last week, christy was attacked from behind by victoria with a bottle (which was totally funny). all i have to say about this match is, victoria won by cheating. it's all good with me, as long as that bimbo lost.
Kane, edge and lita havent been getting along. this match was kane versus edge. for a long time, i thought edge would win. in fact, i wanted edge to win because he is so full of uber awsomeness, it's not even funny. even gene snitsky tried to help edge win but to no avail. kane just gave edge a chokeslam and that was that. lita ran to the top of the ramp, leaving her edge. what kind of woman is she? she's the chicken shit type. the type that would marry a nice guy (cough MATT cough) then cheat on him. that SHANK!
Wrestlmania 21. full of awsome matches. but this one was a big one. the heart break kid, sexy boy shawn michaels versus the bald and whinny kurt angle. kurt won once and the heart break kid was determined to even the score. the middle was pretty boring but then shawn seriously hurt his knee. kurt knocked him out of the ring, causing him to hurt his knee badly. i thought i saw him hold his knee cap in his hand. anyways, shawn delivered two sweet chin musics before pinning kurt. shawn did, in fact, limp backstage by himself. god bless men like shawn. we need more sexy boys like him.
speaking of sexy. it was the wangster versus the clb, versus one hell of a sexy beast. this match was just as amazing as it was suppose to be. now, i had my money on christian then he goes to smackdown! but that's not what happened. i'm okay with christian, my sister is a peep for life, but what i cant stand is that chain-gang leader, John Zeeba. yes, i did spell that wrong to piss off the chain-gang. now, everything was going good, until that stupid CLB gets caught in a F-U. jericho goes to knock down the wanna-be but he uses christan's feet to kick jericho. the wanna-be then delivers the F-U and pins the CLB. AHHHH. out of everyone in the world, to hold that title, it has to be HIM! ARGH!
the last match was the animal versus triple h. i was looking forward to this match. but too bad my hopes were shot down. i'm getting so tired of the batista/triple h rivalry. WWE just doesnt know when to stop. (again, repeat much?). but i have to say, my craving for seeing someone bleed is no longer there. triple h was bleeding all over the mat and his face. batista was smacked in the back with a chair wrapped in barb wire. it kept me busy. but, instead of just giving triple h the title, batista wins. what kind of end is that? it's exactly how it sounds. batista gave triple h the batista booty bomb and that was the end. what the hell? they didnt even leave the cage! i wanted to see way more blood. teaches me about getting my hopes up.
overall, this wasnt what i expected or wanted. i would have had the CLB win then send him to smackdown! and i would have triple h win the title because i'm sick of hearing him bitch. dont get me wrong, i love triple h and JERICHO but i dont want to hear tripz whine anymore and i want to see a good fued between jericho and cena. i mean, the wwe doesnt jump enough people these days. there's not enough blood or gore. what fun is that?
Welcome to the first, ever, Jericha's Review! i express exactly what i think and why i think it. call me a jerk but frankly, that makes you a jack-ass. i tell what i think of raw and smackdown! for the week. exciting, right? none the less, this is uber awsome. so read and learn. maybe someday you can also have an awsome opinion like mine... HAHAHHA yeah... right. on monday, Raw had some serious issues. Lets start with the smaller, less important matches and things that i dont really care about and work our way up. Like Viscera versus Simon dean. Viscera came out with lillian, of course. an akward match, but whatever works for her. but Simon Dean made fun of Viscera's weight. what kind of moron would make fun of a man who is about twice your heighth and weight? without a doubt, viscera had this match won when he walked out. The draft pic for Raw was the most uncool of the cool, Carlito. if it's possiable to be the uncool of cool, he is it. not the point. His first match was against Shelton Benjamin for the Intercontinental title. and, much like before, he won by cheating. is it just me or does the WWE repeat things over and over. just when we think we've seen this match and dont have to see it again, i'll be damned it's back! overkill, maybe? Todd Grisham interviewd the sexy beast, chris jericho. yes, he is THE man. chris made points as to why cena has so many record sales. it's because he has the title. if jericho had the title, of COURSE the band, Fozzy, would be more popular then EVER. but, that CLB, christian busted the whole interview. he made personal attacks on jericho, saying his band sucked and how he is always overlooked. i think the CLB thinks he can win. AS IF. it's all about jericho, my friends. spread the fozzeple Muhammad hassan, after weeks of complaining, got another title match. but, he was against John Cena. another match not worth watching... until the end. Chris Jericho and Christian jump Cena from behind and brutially attacking him. i dont like John Cena and i totally love Chris Jericho so you can imagine how this made me feel. overwellming joy. This is where i became outraged. i was severly pissed off about the wedding between Lita and Edge because of the whole matt thing to begin with. they kept saying things to kane that someone would ask matt. "how does it feel to be left for your best friend?" or "what's it like knowing your wife never loved you." such questions i take offence to but this night, they took low to a new level. Edge comes out looking like his sexy self but lita comes out looking like a damn skank. this is ok... and they play a video showing their "love". but then they take it too far. when the prist dude says "speak now or forever hold your peace", they play matt hardy's theme. i about jumped out of my seat, gawking. then, edge and the shank, lita, start laughing and say "we got you guys good." i hated that. SO much. but, praise the God, kane came out and saved me from the agony. he destroyed the ring which was set up as a chapple and then tombstoned the prist. GO KANE. And lets not forget the main events. the first one was going to be Kurt angle versus Batista. the match was going well for Batista. and, surprise, who comes to throw rocks at the much loved by everyone except me batista? Triple H and Ric flair. they beat on Batista, getting Kurt Angle disqualified. but, lo and behold, when batista's getting a beat down by flair, tripz and angle, it's HBK! i love HBK but he's not suppose to come and SAVE batista because batista's not cool. anyways... The match was changed into a tag team match. now, at this point, i was way too pissed over the wedding to give a shit. but Triple H won by giving Batista the petagree and pinning him. triple h, propz to you! cheers, mate. Smackdown lost their previous champ, John cena, in the draft lottery, so to make up, smackdown now has the Smackdown! championship. the match made for next week is going to have JBL, Booker T, Chris Benoit (rock on!), Big show, Undertaker and Muhammad Hassan all competeing for this title. my money's on Chris Benoit or Hassan, with an interfearience on Undertaker by the legend killer himself, Randy Orton. the first match was Hassan versus the Big Slow. whoops, i'm sorry, big SHOW. my bad. anyways, the match was going for the giant slow but was interupted by Matt Morgan. but the Ref didnt notice. so, hassan wins, yet another, match. again, repeat much? i've seen some interesting teams in my life time. but this one has to be one of the most interesting. The Mexicools, which consisted of Juventud, Psicosis and Super Crazy came onto smackdown on ridinglawnmowers. they declaired that they were going to take over the Cruiserweight championship. frankly, i say Good luck! that would own. and as their first order of buisness, they took out Chavo Guerrero and Paul London during their match. completely awsome. although that Paul London is a looker. Joey Mercury defeated Heidenreich. which is sad but he got help from the sexy (but not as sexy as jericho) Johnny Nitro. by the end of the match, Michelle McCool attacked Melina, setting up a match between the two divas next week. i think Melina is most cool but Michelle, good luck because your gonna need it. Randy Orton, the talky legend killer, had some stuff to say to Undertaker. he said that that he deserved the title of "legend killer" for what he has done and that Undertaker too advantage of his hurt shoulder. he's such a crybaby. but before he leaves the ring, the lights flicker, go off and white smoke appears. the lights go back on and, with orton, the dead man is in the ring. orton frantically runs out of the ring and says that he will face him on his terms, not 'takers. i dont hate randy orton, dont get me wrong. i like him more then i like batista and cena combined, but frankly... no. 'taker has to own him, that way i can go "hurray! ten bucks for me!" that's right, you goodie goodies. i bet on these things because i'm cool like that... no it's not legal! dont ask stupid questions. The main event was another, eddie vs. rey. ANOTHER REPEAT! and, just like before, rey wins. obvious? hell yes. but eddie should win because eddie is way cooler then rey could ever... EEEVER dream of being. i hope that, at some point, eddie will kick rey's ass. i'm thinking a parking lot fight. that would be so awsome. but i digress. The WWE seriously needs some new writers and new ideas. can they play the whole Batista vs. HHH thing enough? this will be their third. they just need to give tripz the title and call it done. maybe kill off batista because he's just not cool. ya know? and to the six man match, i want benoit to win. i mean, benoit should have a title. he's agressive and has enough spunk to have it. seriously, why do they play hot potatoe with him? keep him on one show, feed him a title and call it a day.