Battle of the Sexes
by Big Jim
It was a bright and clear day in the Hill. But of course, it's
always that way in the Hill. The reset was right around the corner, so it was a festive
mood that prevaded Rock. All the big guns had joined in the frivolity, if you can call
attacking anything or anyone that moves frivolity. It was a day of many PvPs, as everyone
knew that it didn't matter what happened anymore. Most of the fighting was taking place at
Varmouth, but that wasn't where the action was. The true action was over in the Hill,
where a grand old rumble was shaping up. It was the Battle of the Sexes. In one corner,
weighing in at a combined level of 200, the all male team of Bigjim, Crestedeagle,and
Codygordon. In the other corner, weighing in at a combined level of God-knows-how-high,
the all female team of Missy and Stickybuns.As if this wasn't bad enough, Missy and Sticky
were both pretty fresh and very well equiped (and I am not talking as
females, this is a text-based game, I wouldn't know). Cody was a bit worn, but he still
had good equipment. Crested was totally bent out of shape, wielding a very small,
practically insignificant weapon, with little armor. Bigjim was pathetic! All he had was
his own head, which he was weilding as a weapon. It had already been a long day of fights
for Bigjim, most of
which he had lost.The object of the match was to see which sex could hold the area outside
of the energy hole in Clucky's the longest, or which ever sex gave up first. There was no
time limit on how long the match would last. All the people involved were soldiers, so PvP
limitations would not apply. It was shaping up to be a fine fight.That was, until the
actual fighting began. The females took the hole first. All the males decided to attack
Sticky first, since she was the smaller of the two females. I'm sure some damage was done
when we went through the energy hole, cause I saw a lot of the pretty green text which
means that you're causing damage to the other person. Unfortunately, there was a WHOLE lot
more red text which means your tail is getting knocked in the mud. First round lasted all
of about 2 seconds, and all of us males found ourselves in nullity faster than you can say
battle of the sexes.Sticky and Missy were still laughing their artifacts off when we came
through the energy hole for round two. This time,
Cody and Crested lasted past the first volley. That is because all the attacks were aimed
at me. Did you know that it is possible to have -1000 HPs? I wasn't alone for very long as
Crested and Cody were quick to join me.Rounds 3 and 4 were pretty much the same way, the
only variation being the order that the males were killed. Crested gave up after that,
saying something about getting whipped by females wasn't exactly the best thing for a guy.
I disagree. Something about getting decimated by the members of the opposite sex again and
again has a strange appeal to me.These massacres went on for oh, about 10 minutes.
Finally, Cody ran out of turns, and my head dissolved into ether. The ladies, through the
middle of countless giggles, finally had
mercy on us, and we retired to Clucky's for some cluckle and more friendly ribbing. Final
score? Sticky, +a bunch of experience points, Missy, +a bunch of experience points,
Crested,
-a lot of dignity, Cody, -all his stuff, Bigjim, -10 levels and his head.