To defecate:

bury a quaker
choke a darkie
chuck a turd
cramber
crap
do a job
do a shit
do one's business
do one's dirty
do one's duty
drop one's load
drop one's bundle
grow a tail
kak
lay a log
par a darkie
park one's breakfast
pinch a loaf
poo
post a letter
squat
take a crap
take a shit
take a dump
tush
Shit imminent:

Bake it
(refrain from going however desperate)
sit on a horses head/ sit on an elephant
(to be about to pass a very
                                                        large stool)

turtlehead
(to be very desperate, ie. already protruding)
touch cloth
(touching underwear)
touch socks
(has emerge and reached socks)
ANAL FUNCTIONS
Soft & sticky:

clart - sticky shit
poot - soft shit
sozzle - liquid mess
Rhyming slang (rhymes with "shit"):

big hit
bob and hit
Brad Pitt
Eartha Kitt
Edgar Britt
florin
hard hit
tomtit
two-bob bit
A turd:

big job
boom-boom
black bass
brownie
bum cigar
bum spud
ca-ca
cack
crap
curl
daff
danna
doober
dookey/dooky/dookie
dukie
dump
dooty
fudge
fudge baby
gerry
gick
grunt
hooey
jobbie
kak
mierda
poep
poo
poop
scutter
shit
shite
siege
smokey joe
tush
twinkie
yackum
Turds large and small:

belly flopper (turd that hits the water and splashes the buttoks)
chocolate iceburg (a turd so loarge that half of it is above water)
floater (turd that does not disappear when toilett is flushed i.e it floats)
flock of starlings
(small pieces of shit)
groaner (a turd so big that it makes you scream when it is let out)
quaker (a hard and lengthy piece of crap)
Skidmarks:

blocther
bobstain
hershey squirts
marmite stripe
russet gusset
skiddies
skidmarks
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