Kelsey
This song is pretty self-explanatory, wouldn't you say? There was this woman named Kelsey who obviously very much impressed me. I could talk a lot about how ridiculously impressive she was but who wants to read that? If you DO want to read that, drop me a line and I'll right you a hundred page essay about her. I met Kelsey in Modern Drama class and then I occasionally got to talk to her in the halls as well. I'm not sure to what extent she ever liked me; like if there was a time when we could have been friends or if we were always just acquiantances. I'd still love to be friends with her more than pretty much anything but I don't think she likes me very much, perhaps because I am clinically insane, I don't know. :D But in any case, if she ever wants to kick it with me, I'm here. Same goes for Amanda Cohen, of course. Honestly though I think I'm dellusional, the chance I'm banking on now is that I have to become a major rock star and then maybe I'd have the clout needed to get them to give me a chance. <3 I know they're just normal people an'at, but I'd like to know them.
As for the actual song... well it's cool ain't it? I think it's pretty darn accurate, down to a T. Maybe Kelsey DOES save face sometimes, or at least that's what she implied to me, but I got the opposite impression from the time when she pwned Mr. Thimons regarding our class apology for using swear words, and again when she reprimanded some peeps at the hunger concert rehearsal. Other than that this is accurate material. When I say "I want you back again" that is not to imply that we were ever dating or anything like that, I just meant I wanted her back in my life since we no longer had Modern Drama class together. The verse "if I find myself on the road..." refferences the fact that I was learning to drive and it scared the fucking shit out of me, and I felt a parallel between that fear and the fear of trying to go up to Kelsey and say "I love you!" Oh and she certainly did show me what it means to live. A simple glance between her and me would literally change my mind from thinking "God dammit if I had killed myself this morning then I wouldn't have to be here right now!" to "man I love life so much!! I want to live forever!" No joke! In fact knowing her and Amanda has changed my entire outlook on life. In the year since I met them I went from being a manic depressive into being an optimist. Although now I seem to be becoming an ascetic.
This is one of my favorite songs for a plethora of reasons. One of which being that it has transformed slightly from a lovely song of longing into a somewhat self-indulgent expressionistical piece.... and by that I mean I sit in my room with the door closed and play 12 minute versions of the tune. In a way the song has become more about me than about her... which is something I hate to say -- but if Kelsey wants consulation for that fact then maybe she could take heart in the fact that like ten of my best songs are completley about her. In fact, my very own self-titled song Doug Donoughe is and always was more about her than it is about me. Oh and as further consulation, it's no accident or fluke that Kelsey is the song which became my epic expressionary. When I first wrote it I never intended to let anyone hear it, and to this day I still occasionally get embarassed while singing it. I would have to kinda force my mind over onto the guitar playing a bit so that I don't choke on the lyrics. It is that same adrenaline-based nervousness which fueled my musical experimentation and led to Kelsey becoming the song I play just for pure fun. It's the kind of nervousness you get from honest throbbing feelings, not the kind of nervousness you get when you say "tits" in class. Ahaha. If you like this one then you'd probably like my song Comfortable Heart. It is somewhat of a sequal to Kelsey in that I am essentially on my knees begging for her attention.