Doug Donoughe
Ooooh boy, this song, man, woah.... Okay so it was in the early part of summer (2006) and I had been trying desperately to convince Amanda and Kelsey to like me, via MySpace. This was right after I had posted Kelsey (the song) on MySpace and let Kelsey (the person) know about it. Meanwhile in the non-digital world, me & the great Joe Deuchane were like hanging out or something. We probably watched a SRV DVD or something, I don't specifically remember. But sometime around 3 am me, Joe, and the legendary zharth set off as we often do into the night to procure eats from the majestically sweet 24-hour Eat N Park. We were listening to what, The Yardbirds? Or was that a different time... anyway the nighttime air was dewy, vibrant, and free; full of that energetic lust for satisfaction that makes me feel an energetic lust for satisfaction. Along the way I was of course talking about my internet escapades and wondering aloud about Kelsey & Amanda (keep in mind that this was early summer, so at that point I still thought they might want to be friends with me). As soon as we sat down at our table at Eat N Park, I nervously asked "I wonder where Kelsey is right now," and it was pretty funny because at that same time a table or two away from us there was a big group and one of the people there yelled out "Kelsey!" apparently talking to someone else in the group. It wasn't the Kelsey in question though, and so me, Joe & Zharth discussed situational irony and whether or not what had just happened counted as being situational irony. Ahahahaha, we are so fucking awesome. As to my question of Kelsey's whereabouts at 3am on a summer night, "she's probably off being avant-garde somewhere," says Joe. And that concept very much struck my fancy... struck my fancy so much that I ended up singing about it because it was too awesome not to. But Joe's Kelsey-related comment set off a discussion about the Mt. Lebanon '05-'06 PULSE literary magazine, which is what the song Doug Donoughe REALLY is about! Not so much a discussion, perhaps it was an argument. Joe told me how supposedly Kelsey, Amanda, and their group (a group I love, needless to say) had signed up to PULSE out-of-the-blue and taken over everything and just filled it up with their own stuff. I disagreed with Joe's opinion of the PULSE though. I trust his assesment of what happened, but I love that year's PULSE and thought it was much better than the large lumbering book of the year prior. At first I kinda didn't like those pictures of that guy, but then I remembered how much I enjoy photographs of people. I very much respect them putting that in there, especailly because if it was someone I know I would have loved it. So anyway, to cut the ramblings short, we went home. Joe & I continued to hang out until like 6 or 7am and then he went home. That's when I sat down to write this song. This song is one of my greatest accomplishments.
I was completely wired as hell, after hanging out all night. For those who don't know, spending time with human beings has very strange effects on my mind. And I named this song Doug Donoughe 'cause I thought it pretty rare for somebody to have a self-titled song if their band name is their given name, and because I felt that the song musically expressed kind of the atmosphere of existence at that time. The song is in the Doug Donoughe tuning and has only 2 chords. I was tired but I wanted to do something productive with all the thoughst running through my head because I knew that if I were to go to sleep then all my thoughts would go away. Most of my songs are dead-literal, and so I wanted to write a really poetic, symbolic song with these strange words that may not make any logical sense but they feel good to sing them so I sing them. That's where "Here's to my sweet Satan..." comes in. It just felt good to say that and even though there's not literal connection between those words and myself, I felt very strongly that those words explained my existence and my feelings. I was lying on my bed with my hand in my pants (for warmth, of course) and I just felt really helpless so I started pleading for somebody to "come in here and save me" and that's when I got up and recorded the song. But after like a line or two I stopped being so symbolic and started being real again...
I did 4 versions of the song that same morning because I felt that I was in a special mood and I may never be able to duplicate it. The lyrics vary, but it usually starts out with the notion that I am in a state of helplessness (occasionally with cheetahs eating my face) and that I would do drastic ridiculous things for love (like cutting my face off and selling it to the back market). I sing that part in this real snyde sarcastic way kinda but of course I really mean it. And then I move on to how indie I am, which is a discussion I had with my vocal coach when she asked me why I hadn't printed any albums yet. That part of the song is partially me trying to express how cool I am and it is partially a jab at people who follow strict anti-consumer creeds. On the one hand I am a guy who hates artists who are more concerned with moving merchandise than they are with putting on a great show, but on the other hand I've always felt that artists should do whatever they want and there's nothing wrong with trying to move merchandise. That's definetly the way the whole song is: I'm being sarcastic and making fun of myself but I'm not being facetious. I acknowledge that I'm being a dumbass but I don't care because it's what I believe. I think it's worth it.
The reason I think this might be the best song I've ever written is because it's such a fucking period-piece, ya know? The majority of my songs -- I Want It All, Kelsey, Destroy Myself, Satan Loves Me -- they accurately explain my honest beliefs at a given moment. What's more important to me is demonstrating waht it's really like to be me in a particular period. That's something I can very rarely accomplish and certainly Doug Donoughe (the song) does it better than any other songs I've done. Rather than arguing my beliefs, this song tells you where I'm at! Ya dig? Lounging in a state of begging, with cheetahs eating my cheetos. That's how I was, waiting for replies and looking for things to free me. Hanging out on the corner fighting off criticisms... being insane and assured... lost in an album...
The Neil Young content in this song really does explain where my mind was at during this period. "I'm up in TO keeping jive alive" is a line from one of my all-time favorite songs, Amblunace Blues by Neil Young. I felt so strongly that it described my position in life that I had variations of it up as my MySpace quote for a very long time. What it meant to me is that I was basically just hanging out in a purgatory of sorts and I'm crazy with no avenue to go down. Hanging out with my peeps was pretty much all I did at that time, well hanging out with my peeps and thinking about Tonight's The Night. Tonight's The Night is Neil Young's legendary 1975 drug-based album. You could say that at this point in time Kelsey represented to me the potential for fun & excitement... When I first heard Tonight's The Night I didn't like it much and so I thought "well, this is a mindset album and I'm not in the correct mindset to experience this album" so I figured to get into that correct mindset I'd have to go do drugs with Kelsey but that never happened so the existential overtones of the album became my new melodrama and I would listen to the album a lot and think about having fun. But don't get the wrong impression -- it wasn't a depression that I was in. It wasn't like in 10th grade where I'd listen to Dirt and wallow in nothingness. I think the thing about Tonight's The Night (and Neil Young himself has shared this sentiment) is that it's kind of a deep depressional drag and it's kind of a massive rockin' party. It was a sadness with a hope, and if nothing else then it was enjoyable to groove with the Tonight's The Night style. It represented a fringe attitude and teenage excitement which I rarely get to indulge in. Plus Tonight's The Night was very controversial when it was made. It represented to me an avant garde which I had come to associate with Kelsey through the aforementioned Eat N Park episode.
I think it's a real timid song. Like many of my songs it is basically me trying to convince Kelsey to like me and that we'd be legitimately good friends. I mean in one version I try to say Kelsey's name and am too timid to say it so I'm all like "I'm not gonna say her name..." The main point of the song I think is self-assurance. Self assurance is my life long pursuit. This song is about how I had a hope to achieve peace of mind.
The lyrics do vary. After all, "I'm up in TO.." has always been to me an ultimate angle to take a song from since you're literally explaining where you're at in that particular moment. Are you hanging out with jive and just letting life go, or are you keeping down the jive and trying to end up on top? So of course the lyrics change from time to time. In one version I was discussing my concepts about what is good about the world, and I go off into a tangent about how lesbian sex is the purest, truest thing on the Earth. In live versions new contents have arisen such as pouring soup on my cat's face (not sadistically, me & my cat are sparring partners) and umm I don't remember what else. I think, like, eating VHS tapes or something? I dunno. But I'm overjoyed that people like this song since it is one of my favorites and I'm glad my wry sense of ludicrous can make some people laugh. That's the real worthy content.