| . . . My Wisdom To Distribute Amoungst the Trolls as Directed. . . |
| Sometimes I think the surest sign that there is intelligent life elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us. Anything good in life is either immoral, illegal, or fattening. Anything not fitting into these categories causes cancer in rats. As you journey through life take a moment to consider the other fellow. He might be planning something. The optimist declares that this is the best of all possible worlds. The pessimist fears that this is true. To attract a man wear a perfume called "new car interior". There are easier things in life than finding a good man... nailing jello to a tree for instance. In case of emergency break glass. Scream. Bleed to death. It IS as bad as you think. They ARE out to get you. If you're feeling unsucessful just remember: eagles may soar, but moles never get sucked into jet engines. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Marriage is an institution. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind. One advantage of being disorderly is that one is always making new and exciting discoveries. Men are like cats--- they scratch rudely, make wierd noises when not fed properly, get upset if you don't want to play, and regardles of what you tell them, they never listen. Duct tape is like the force. There's a light side and a darkside. And it holds the universe together. Do not walk behind me, for I might not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I might not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just leave me the hell alone. |
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