cheers!1

100 reasons why a beer is better than a woman

• When you go to a bar,  you can always pick up a beer.

• You don`t have to wine & dine a beer.

• A beer won`t get upset if you come home with beer on your breath.

• A beer doesn`t get jealous when you come home with another beer.

• If you poor a beer right,  you `ll always get good head.

• Hangovers go away.

• When you `re finished with a beer,  the bottle `s still worth 5 cents.

• A frigid beer is a good beer.

• Beer is always wet.

• You can share a beer with your friends.

• You don`t have to wash a beer before it tastes good.

• A beer always comes down easy.

• You always know you `re the first one to pop a beer.

• You can have more than one beer and not feel guilty.

• You can enjoy a beer all night long.

• A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.

• Beer stains wash out.

• Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car.

• When beer goes flat you toss it out.

• Beer is never late.

• Beer labels come off without a fight.

• Beer never has a headache.

• Beer doesn't demand equality.

• A beer doesn't care when you come.

• You can have a beer in public.

• Beer always comes in multiples of six.

• Beer doesn't mind being in the "wet spot" that it left.

• You can't catch anything but a "buzz" from a beer.

• After you have a beer, you're committed to nothing other than dumping the
  empty bottle.

• A beer never costs you more than five dollars and never leaves you thirsty.

• When your beer is gone, you just pop another.

• You rarely find beer labels on the shower curtain rod.

• Beer looks the same in the morning.

• Beer doesn't look you up in a month.

• Beer doesn't worry about someone walking in.

• Beer doesn't worry about waking the kids.

• Beer doesn't get cramps.

• Beer doesn't have a mother.

• Beer doesn't have morals.

• Beer doesn't go crazy once a month.

• Beer always listens and never argues.

• Beer labels don't go out of style every year.

• Beer doesn't whine, it bubbles.

• Beer doesn't have cold feet.

• Beer doesn't demand legality.

• Beer is never overweight.

• If you change beers, you don't have to pay alimony.

• Beer won't run off with your credit cards.

• Beer doesn't have a lawyer.

• Beer doesn't need much closet space.

• Beer can't give your herpes or other nasty things.

• Beer doesn't complain about the way you drive.

• Beer doesn't mind if you fart or belch.

• Beer never changes its mind.

• Beer doesn't tease you or play hard to get.

• Beer never asks you to change the station.

• Beer doesn't make you go shopping.

• Beer doesn't tell you to mow the grass.

• Beer doesn't mind seeing Chuck Norris and Charles Bronson flicks.

• Beer is always easy to pick up.

• Big, fat beers are nice to have.

• Beer doesn't pout or play games.

• Beer NEVER says no.

• Beer is easy to get into.

• Beer never complains when you take it somewhere.

• Beer doesn't need to go to the 'powder room' with other beers.

• Beer doesn't wear a bra.

• Beer doesn't mind getting dirty. 

• Beer doesn't complain about insensitivity.

• Beer doesn't use up your toilet paper.

• Beer doesn't live with its mother.

• Beer doesn't care if you have no culture or manners.

• Beer doesn't bitch, yell, or cry.

• Beer doesn't mind football season.

• A beer won't make you go to church.

• A beer is more likely to know how to spell "carburetor" than a woman.

• A beer doesn't think baseball is stupid simply because the guys spit.

• A beer doesn't think DOS is pronounced "dose".

• A beer doesn't give a fuck if you keep a bunch of other BEERs around.

• If a beer leaks all over the room, it smells kinda good for a while.

• A beer will not call you a sexist pig if you say "doberman" instead of 
  "doberperson".

• A beer won't claim that the Three Stooges are shitheads.

• A beer won't raise a fuss about a little thing like leaving the toilet seat up.

• A beer won't whine that seatbelts hurt.

• A beer won't smoke in your car.

• A beer will actually SUPPORT belching and farting and share your
  enthusiasm for getting them included as demonstration sports in the
  1992 Olympic Games in Barcelona.

• A beer is always ready to leave on time.

• A beer never fishes for compliments.

• Some beers (e.g. St. Pauli Girl) have fabulous tits.

• If you take a beer outta the fridge just to look at it but then decide to
  drink it, the beer won't accuse you of "date rape".

• A beer won't raise any objections to an evening of watching
  "John Holmes" Greatest Hits" on your VCR.

• An ice-cold beer will nonetheless let you have your way with it.

• A beer won't make you pick up some tampons when you go to the
  grocery store.

• A beer won't accuse you of lying when you say you read Penthouse
  "just for the articles".

• A beer won't worry that you'll go to jail if you videotape a Giants game
  without the expressed,written consent of the National Football League.

• A beer won't fill up your car with cheesy 85-octane gas with the excuse:
  "But I saved a quarter!".

• A beer will NEVER make you go to a Swedish movie.

• A beer won't make you eat some experimental vegetarian meal that tastes
  like STP Oil Treatment.

• When you're through with a beer, the thought of another beer doesn't
  make you ill

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