- Struggles With Play-By-Play, Verse 2 -
16 May 2007
First off, an F-minus goes out to me for a lack of any website updates in the last 2+ months. Despicable and inexcusable, I say… kind of like Dodgers’ radio announcer Charlie Steiner on Monday night.
I didn’t listen to much of the game against the Cardinals, due in part to my interest in the Spurs/Suns Game 4 going on at the same time and also due in part to the early 8-0 hole the Dodgers got themselves into. Nonetheless, I managed to catch this wonderful piece of broadcasting from Steiner during my drive home from dinner…
When I turn the game on, it is in the late innings and the Dodgers are down 8-1. Wilson Betemit is at the plate. Now, for starters, it is embarrassing that Betemit has been a Dodger for nearly a full calendar year now and Steiner still can’t even come close to pronouncing his name right (by the way, it’s pronounced bay-tah-ME, in case anybody cared). As a matter of fact, Vin Scully even comes closer to the correct pronunciation than Steiner, and he’s been using a bedpan since before most Dodger fans were born. Then again, so has Rick Monday. Moving on…
Steiner naturally goes into the old routine about how Betemit hasn’t been able to hit a ball off a tee this year, what with his average so far below the Mendoza line, and it is at about that time when the young third baseman crushes a ball into the seats. While I loves me some hometown homerun hitting, I evidently don’t love it quite as much as Steiner, who starts rambling on about how majestic Betemit’s home runs are, how he has a nice long and smooth uppercut swing, how the ball just stays in the air forever, an so forth.
Now look, I’m all for the radio announcer taking some extra time to describe in further detail what he just saw so that the listening fan can get a more vivid picture… but the first priority of radio broadcasting is always LIVE GAME ACTION. As Steiner is enjoying his verbal cookies and milk courtesy of Wilson Betemit, I can hear a roar from the Dodger Stadium crowd. As all Dodger fans know, this can only mean one of a few things. Either there’s a beach ball on the field, some loser has just been arrested in the left field pavilion and is flipping the twin doves at Dodger security and the rest of the free world, or SOMETHING HAPPENED IN THE GAME. Well, the roar finally begins to subside and Steiner pulls out of his Betemit routine and tells us that, oh, by the way, Andre Ethier has just slid into second base. Look dude, extra description is great during a break in the game (silence or a reminder of the score and game situation are excellent alternatives), but this isn’t a multi-tasking competition. If it was, trust me, you would have failed long ago. If we all wanted to know what happened AFTER it happened, we would just read the newspaper. There’s a reason that cars come equipped with radios and not electrical telegraph machines. I can read about Betemit’s majesty after the game, during a pitching change, or while Jim Edmonds retrieves a stray beach ball from the warning track in right center. You’re a play-by-play guy, Steiner... CALL THE GAME!
