| Kim Jong-il is gay? |
| By Imran Meghji Robo's Lair (RL) - Rumours have been swirling madly about the homosexuality of North Korean dictator Kim Jong-il. Close sources are even indicating a love affair with his personal assistant. An RL insider took this very racy picture of an anonymous man initiating foreplay with Kim Jong inside his bedroom. |
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| "Apparently, Kim Jong loves the dong" |
| When asked about this picture, Jong simply replied "It wasn't me". He then tried to convince us that the person in the picture was infact ex-basketball personality Dennis Rodman. We almost fell for it. Luckily, Robo's Lair managed to squeeze a few questions out of Jong's close personal assistant, Carlos Fernandez. He asked that his voice be disguised to avoid being recognized. Fine with me. RL - Let me cut to the chase. Is Kim Jong-il truly gay? Carlos Fernandez - Yes. RL - Are you gay? Carlos Fernandez - Yes. RL - With him as well? Carlos Fernandez - Yes. So it's obvious now. The once feared dictator of North Korea, who admitted to restarting the country's nuclear program, is a homo. Not just just any kind of homo. An evil homo. Actually, those are the worst kind. But let's not get into the specifics. American president George W. Bush seemed intrigued by this newly discovered info. We caught up with him. RL - Mr. President, what are your thoughts on Kim Jong-il being a homosexual? President Bush - It's simple. Gay people will go to hell. RL - Wow. Well don't you think that's being a little bit too extreme? President Bush - (Laughs). You don't know extreme, son. I've actually just declared war on every gay person. RL - What? That doesn't make any sense, I thought you were fighting a war on terrorism? President Bush - My focus is on the axis of evil. And according to our military intelligence, gay people are part of this axis. That's not all he had to say. The rest of this interview was not fit for human eyes. Or even snake eyes. So we sold it to NASA in exchange for gourmet jellybeans. But more importantly, Kim Jong-il has been exposed for the man he really is. Close sources tell us he's currently in hiding in New York City's fabled "Gaybourhood". Go figure. Gay man in a gaybourhood. It's the simplicity of the idea that boggles the mind. Enough said. Time for a sweet glass of homogenized milk. Aren't I clever. If you have any suggestions, comments, or questions, e-mail me. |
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| "An idiot? Maybe. No wait. Yes." |