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| JAMES LESSON #63 James 4:2 You �lust� � you �desire� and don�t have � it ticks you off- you start to envy, get jealous, harbor anger, grow in bitterness..and then you open your mouth. Wrong move. Obviously this is an ongoing battle � I want to start by looking at different �kinds� of �desires� that we deal with. It helps if from the get go, you can �identify� the battleground. 1) We desires �stuff� � �things� � �material goods.� You don�t? Wrong- How many times have you gone to the store with a list and walked out of the store with more than you intended to buy? What happened? You �saw� � you �desired� � you �went there.� How many times did someone get a new car � and you suddenly felt a tremendous �need� to get one too? How many times did someone have a new outfit, a new ring, a vacation house, new golf clubs, new boat�and it triggered something inside you that screamed..�ME TOO!� - What happens when �ME TOO!� doesn�t get �satisfied?� The �desire� gets stronger � and if not checked at the door � you internally begin to harbor resentment, bitterness, anger, jealousy, and basically become critical and full of self-pity. 2) We desire �happiness� � this is an �unending� one- Here�s the conversation � �Hi! How�re ya doin?� - Fine- �Same ole� same ole-� The day kicks in..and you look for the �thrill� �only to find the day..as same ole� same ole� as yesterday. Your response? You spend money. You over-eat. You over exercise. You under exercise. You get lazy. You grow in discontent � and begin to look at life as something that�s supposed to serve you because after all � you worked to earn it..and you deserve it. Wrong. Nothing about you is �earned� or �deserved� � it�s given � and you will be held accountable for your response to it. Grumble..complain � discontent, ungratitude. Lost focus- What about relationships? It�s too hard to spend �time� � It�s too hard to spend �energy� � It�s too hard to �communicate� � so we get caught in giving out of guilt rather than out of love � wanting to �measure up� in equality in the relationship�forgetting the �servant� part�.the �being served� part for some, is even harder. Both sides of that coin require �humility� to be the centerpiece on the table. 3) We desire recognition. Big one-especially for men-to a different degree for women. Me? I don�t desire �recognition.� Maybe not in the �stand me in front of 50,000 people and hand me a microphone picture,� but what about at company award banquets? What about where you stand on a committee? What about on the sports playing field � as a player � as a parent? What about at church? In Sunday School class? At the local club? In your neighborhood? What about when the paycheck comes through and you�re not making as much as so and so? We all have the innate something that says � �please know me � please recognize me � please let me feel important-� and what happens when it doesn�t fall into place? Insecurity � Wrong thinking-Manipulation � Push for control �Resentment-Jealousy (which holds it�s root in anger) - What happened to �servant?� 4) We desire love. �probably the number one issue specifically with women- to a different degree, with men. This one can wreak havoc in every direction if not God directed. Not me? Believe it or not, this �desire� can actually pull us away from the heart of God because we refuse to acknowledge His sufficiency in this area �Huh? We spend a lifetime looking for a mom � looking for a dad- looking for Mr. Right � looking for Miss Right � only to discover that when we find them, there�s still a hole inside of us the size of Grand Canyon. Intimacy at the level we desire can not be found outside of God. So � we spend to impress � we dress to impress- we talk to impress- it becomes a vicious cycle of you impress me I impress you which ends up in a greater cycle of I demand from you and you demand from me what neither one of us can give. The result? Emptiness- Loneliness-Isolation in a crowd-Resentment-Disappointment-Self-Pity �.we�ve forgotten who we are. 5) We desire peace. Just make the noise stop. Just make the chaos quit. Just make the pace slow down. We avoid confrontation. We avoid conflict. We refuse to deal with �issues� �and live in denial�or walk in a lie- just to have peace. That doesn�t fit in God�s design. Everything about Jesus was conflict-confrontation-conflict-confrontation�why? Because He was �in� the world but not �of� it. God never promised you experiential peace. He promised you �internal� peace. Many times He chooses to position you right in the middle of conflict so that His peace internally in you can be seen. We�re back to the �joint effort opportunity� �and �dependence� issue. 6) We desire �attention.� None of us are exempt from this. Just walk into a classroom of kindergarten children and watch what happens. Look at my picture. Look at what I did. Look at how I wrote my ABC�s. See what I made. Notice me � notice me- Notice me�it�s not as much about �recognition� as it is about undivided attention. This is a big deal with women � more so than men. And in terms of marriage? You�ll see this one spiral and spiral and spiral around the issues of recognition in the man. The woman says � please pay attention to me � the man hears, �spend money� � the man works harder to make money �which takes him away longer � which makes the woman scream louder � �pay attention to me!� �and the cycle doesn�t end. We all long for someone to give us the answers. We all long for someone to listen � and to �really care� about the significant issues of our hearts. When it doesn�t happen, what happens? We grow increasingly more self-centered- we become demanding- when we don�t get it, we throw a fit and become very difficult to be �with��There�s only One who cares about every detail- who looks at every picture drawn- see�s how well you do your ABC�s � and notices you and notices you and notices you�why doesn�t that seem to matter? These are only a �few� of the �desires� we deal with. There are obviously many more. Question is � why do we wander around empty � unfulfilled, and struggling with �desire� when we�re children of God? Somehow, those two things don�t fit together. You say � well, �True children of God don�t wander around on empty seeking to have �desires� met.� Really? Who is James writing to? Unbelievers? No. He�s writing to struggling Christians. Christians who don�t understand the war they�ve just stepped in to. James says these �unmet desires� wreak havoc �among� the believers. Why? Because of how we�re dealing with them. We�re so busy looking at each other, demanding from each other what no one is capable of giving that we totally miss the mark and fall into sin. God�s response is this: You don�t have because you don�t ask. You don�t have because you�re going to the wrong place to meet the need. I can already hear the reaction to those last two lines. I HAVE ASKED! I HAVE GONE TO GOD! I�m still empty. What�s the problem. BelieveUnbeliefBelieveUnbelief � Goes right back to square one � probably the toughest hurdle this side of heaven. Do you believe the Word of God � or don�t you? Look at Phillipians 4:19 This is a promise that pretty much covers all the bases. This isn�t just �give me stuff God� � this is, take care of me emotionally, physically, spiritually, and mentally. God says � �Ok- I�m there for you. I will take care of EVERYTHING � ALL your need.� So what�s the deal? I�m feeling empty- I�m feeling angry-I�m feeling lost- where�s the peace? In that verse God never said He�d make you �feel� wonderful � He said He�d take care of ALL your need. He won�t necessarily �change your experience� to meet your need. He may leave you without a spouse- He may position you as low man on the totem pole at work or on the playing field � He may stand you right in the middle of tremendous conflict �and in terms of feelings? Internally you may SCREAM. BUT- He promised He supply ALL your needs �to adequately be able to �abide� in Him � and it�s in the �abiding in Him� � that �joint effort opportunity� -that in the middle of chaos HE reveals HIS peace �internally� in you � in the position of �lowest of lows on the totem pole,� HE exalts HIMSELF through you � in sitting the bench, HE plays a completely different ball game with the players through you by demonstrating the heart of a �willing servant� �are you getting the picture here? But I want someone to love me�that�s the one I hear most often. My response � There�s only ONE who will love you to the degree in which you desperately need to be loved � stop looking everywhere else�and ask Him to allow you to �know Him.� The hard part in �finding love� is not in the �finding� � it�s in the �letting.� Why is there a problem with the �letting God love me?� � because we don�t really �believe� � Enough to �trust�- Enough to �seek only Him� � The result? We walk around on �empty� having �asked� � unwilling to �receive� �still very much in control..still very much walking independent of God, looking for answers in our deepest areas of need�defending our behavior with the line, �God didn�t answer.� More tomorrow, Loving you, �copyright 2001 Jim and Robin Hibschman |
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