it's bloopy eve
the kids are in their beds
with anticipation buzzin' round their heads
they've written out their bloopy lists
hung out the bloopy stocking
and soon the man they love to love will get their motor rocking(them all a-rocking)

Father Bloo-oo-py
Father Bloo-oo-py
dry your eyes, don't look so droopy
everybody wants to be his groupie
supa-dupa-dupie, Father Bloop-y

Where's he from?
he lives far away
in big nose land
with 100 big-nosed boys
who hammer away, with their noses all day, to make all the bloopy toys

and in his stable
he has got six-teen hippopotamuses
and he harnesses them, to the silver sleigh
'cause he doesn't like using buses

Father Bloo-oo-py
Father Bloo-oo-py
let's be gay, let's make some whoopie
everybody wants to be his groupie
supa-dupa-dupie, Father Bloop-y

What's he do?
he comes right down
your chimney stack
but if you, haven't got one
he'll crawl out of a radiator valve
unless it's a, very hot one

then his big nose will come(hippos)
and smash down your door
and if you've been good he will thrill you
(as) for good girls and boys
he gives presents and toys
but if you've been bad he will kill you

Father Bloo-oo-py
Father Bloo-oo-py
nice as pie, and cute as Snoopy
everybody wants to be his groupie
supa-dupa-dupie, Father Bloop-y

Big as a mountain
Round as 2p
supa-dupa-dupie, Father Bloop-y

I'd like to introduce to you, my good friend, Barrington
B: Hello Worksop
I thought you said you wasn't going to do it
M: Barrington there are times when all of us have to do it

Ladies and Gentlemen
This is a little number we wrote so we could tell you exactly how we feel
we kinda like it and we hope you do too

M: if you have a friend
B: you have a friend
M: a friend like rose
B: woo-oo-ah
M: you wanna, push dead earwigs up her nose
B: y wanna take all gods worms and all his ants, shove em up her vest
M: yes you do
B: and down her pants
M: you wanna go down to the shop and buy some eyebrow tweezers
B: and you know that bit of skin between her nostrils
B: you wanna squeeze hers
M: (very hard)
M&B: If Rose is your friend
your best friend

M: you wanna set fire, to her great big rear end
B: (yes you do)
M&B: and when she's screaming and howling with pain
M: get those tweezers, and pull her nose again
B: cause she's your friend

M: She's a dirty little rat
B: your very best friend
M: her nose is big and fat
M&B: cause Ro-oo-ose is your friend