My sister and I were both premature babies. At the time of writing, I am 46 and she
is 53. The feelings we experienced at that time have recently surfaced for both of
us. We now realise that the feelings that we experienced then have coloured our lives.
Recently I connected to a devastating and deep feeling of sadness; it was like a
black hole of emotion. This has occurred twice whilst I have been at a Reiki Share.
As I Talked about the feeling, I remembered the story of my birth. I had been born
early one morning at home, seven weeks prematurely. It was in the 1950's in a small
Suffolk village. The local G.P. came and convinced I would not survive, wrapped me
in a blanket and put me on the front seat of his sports car to take me to the Ipswich
Hospital. There I was put straight into an incubator.
My father rang the hospital
the next day to see how I was. The Ward Sister said she wanted me named because it
was still thought I would die. Mother, recovering from the birth, was of course not
able to visit the hospital straight away. As I recalled this story, my heart began
to race and tears came to my eyes, I realised I had identified the cause of the feeling.
This has since happened again, and as I talked the emotion surfaced once more.
As
a young child, this deep emotion surfaced several times and I remember crying myself
to sleep in this deep misery, never knowing from where it came. So, at last I have
the opportunity to clear this emotional baggage. For my sister, she has a deep feeling
of being sad and alone and not wanting to be so.
Sue's story: Throughout my life
I have always got fed up, down or depressed on or around my birthday in early September.
It has often lasted from a few days to two months (longer if it was connected to
a life changing trigger). The onset always seemed to be September no matter what
avoidance tactics I tried to use. For many years I had thought (without any evidence)
that this could be linked to being born prematurely in September and being in an
incubator for two months.
It wasn’t until I did Reiki that I realised this could
indeed be the case. After a course of Metamorphic Technique about three years ago,
I have never been depressed at that time again.
Recently, however, another aspect
of this came up following a family emergency. As I dealt with it (alone initially),
I was overwhelmed with waves of deep sadness, fear and unbearable feelings of being
absolutely and totally alone and unable to cope. As I discussed this with my sister
later, I was suddenly able to see the pattern. I thought about all the other life
changing events in my life when I had felt these emotions. When would I have had
my first experience of being/feeling totally alone, isolated, full of fear, with
intense sadness? Answer, when I was born two months prematurely, taken from my mother
and put in an incubator for two months!’
Robina continues: Imagine it: you spend
8-
I was talking to another member of the Reiki share one day. She
said that her son had been premature and found that he could not hug her. My sister
and I also share this experience. We found it very difficult to hug our mother or
have her hug us. The bonding seemed not to be there on her side and certainly wasn’t
on ours. In fact a part of me felt unloved. There are many premature babies out there
and mothers who perhaps for some reason or another were not able to spend time with
the baby in the incubator. I desire to highlight that this scenario causes emotional
pain on both sides, and I hope this article brings it to the fore to be noticed.
My sister and I are lucky in that we are both Reiki Masters and use flower essences
to reveal our emotional pains that have been hidden away, and can heal ourselves.
Many others not so aware will go a lifetime and not discover these feelings or understand
the impact they have on their emotional lives.
Robina Hearle