We are transmitting to you this here document thingy of legal like stuff.

1. Forthwith set in this document are the events and proceedings of the past year, with future legal action.

2. That in the month of Aprilish, John gave me a camera, which restarted my photographic hobby into hyperdrive, causing my wife to be driven crazy at a much higher rate of speed than normal. I have decided to sue John for the hardship placed on my wife.

3. That Jennifer was suckered into, I mean, accepted the challenge of being the Vice-President of the Parkview PTA, IN ADDITION TO teaching a Church Sunday school class, IN ADDITION TO running the snackbar for the girls softball, IN ADDITION TO becoming impregnated (we are still searching for the culprit), IN ADDITION TO spending 11 days in the hospital after a good knee surgery went bad with a blood clot. She has decided to sue the children for further distressing her.

4. That Sharlean is an honor student in the 8^th grade, plays volleyball, soccer, softball, and basketball, and is becoming an Anime style artist (Sailormoon, DragonballZ, etc.) She is suing the pencil manufacturer for carpal tunnel syndrome.

5. That Shyann is also playing soccer, basketball, and softball. That Shyann has become more increasingly teen-like by the minute, resulting in parental objections the likes of which the law has never known. Also, that she has become delusional; Proof: Witnesses have heard her say, and I quote "I’m a good girl and deserve all of the presents that I want". We are suing Shyann for defamation of her own character, on her behalf.

6. That due to the many hours of computer addiction, Pryce has become a Game-boy-aholic; that besides that fact that we forced him to play volleyball and basketball to get him off his rump, he would have had computer games implanted in his head for ease of gaming. Pryce is suing us for the gaming time he lost due to forced exercise.

7. That legal forms and documents are pretty boring to read.

8. That Trebor played soccer, I can attest to this fact, as I was the coach. Trebor and I are suing each other for the fun of it. That Trebor has no concept of reality. Proof: Counting a small pile of coins, he exclaimed that he had $50.00 and could now go to the toy store. He is suing everyone for their spare change.

9. That all Eliel wanted to say was, and I quote for the record; "Eliel’s five years old and gots a nice haircut." I can attest to this fact, as I know that he is five and I gave him the said haircut, so of course it would be nice. Eliel feels left out, as he has no one to sue.

10. That legal forms and documents are pretty boring to read. But you already knew that.

11. That we wish you good tidings this year, and joy in the years to come. May Peace and the Spirit of Christ be in your homes through this season and always.

See to it that these matters are attended to forthwith in haste and such, before we decide to sue you too.

http://www.geocities.com/robherr/dailyherrald

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