Re: Armchair Anthropologist on Doltichell

Citizen Ted wrote:
> 
>         As is painfully obvious, this august discussion forum has
> recently been plagued by a renegade proto-simian female named
> Doltichell (doltichell@aol.com). Armchair Anthropologist has watched
> in furrowed-brow consternation as this hooting little chimp-ette has
> boorishly infixed herself into a genetic line far more evolved than
> her own.
>         For weeks, the staff has fastidiously studied this despicable
> throwback, and great reams of research and scribbled marginal notes
> were created, all of which pointed to the inescapable conclusion that
> this Doltichell is a splendid example of the well-understood sub-group
> of Homo Habilis known as Juvenilis Pan Troglodytus.
> 
>         For reasons to be made clear, we here at ArmAnthro will not
> bother citing evidenciary posts made by the subject. Instead, we will
> simply describe the known facets of Juvenilis Pan Troglodytus:
> 
>         Though still considered a member of the great apes, Juvenilis
> Pan Troglodytus is distinguished by its almost universal ability to
> annoy every higher form, from the muscle-tard (Hemi Sapiens Robustus)
> to the average AT'er (Homo Sapiens Malgustus). These creatures number
> in the untold millions, and direct evidence from achievement scores
> demonstrates their devolutionary trend toward a required Darwinian
> correction.
>         Their understanding of simple abstract concepts is so weak as
> to be considered negligible. Even squid-sucking Korean children have
> consistently demonstrated more evolutionary vitality than the subject
> and her peers. JPT could very well create an evolutionary shift in our
> lifetimes if their numbers are left unchecked. Our current insistence
> on unfocused access to health care could cause a precipitous shift in
> western species toward the increasing plenitude of unfit members.
>         Since selective extinction is far from being recognized for
> its value in our society, we must remain vigilant and ensure that:
> 
>         a) these sub-group members become increasingly mainstreamed
> through societal pressure and cultural embarrassment, and
> 
>         b) species who fail to adapt are removed from the gene pool.
> 
>         As we venture boldly into a new millenium awash with promise,
> we must make sure we don't blow an easy putt after making a terrific
> approach shot. This forum has demonstrated that our species can create
> and maintain a vibrant, technological civilization. But to do this, we
> must require negative population growth and evolutionary fitness.
> Historically, attempts to foster this kind of reform resulted in brief
> success and eventual overthrow, due to the savagery of the methods
> utilized.
>         To realize our destiny, we must learn to pool our intellectual
> resources and work as a team, sublimating our individuality in order
> to achieve a common goal. Every major stride in western civilation has
> been made by the homogenization and common focus of a group, be it
> nations, tribes, governments or corporations. Though we treasure our
> individuality, allowing unfit individuals to reproduce unchecked could
> mean the extinction of humanity.
> 
>         To that end, I propose the following course of action inre our
> subject, Doltichell:
> 
>         Since the subject has not the introspective powers to realize
> her worthlessness, she will not recuse herself voluntarily. She cannot
> grasp the deeper meanings of any posts, even her own, and no amount of
> humiliation or withering castigation will affect her.
>         As is the case with many trolls, the only sure way to expunge
> a Juvenilis Pan Troglodytus is by shunning them utterly. This type of
> sentiment is as common a request as can be found in the history of
> Usenet. And it has proved a valuable tool time and time again.
> 
>         So, the staff here at ArmAnthro hereby make the following
> edict:
> 
>         *All members of the forum are requested to refrain from any
> and all contact with the subject, Doltichell. In order to preserve
> domestic tranquillity and raise the standards of comportment among the
> New Vanguard at AT, we must band together and expunge this creature by
> heroic acts of omission.*
> 
>         Failure to heed this policy can and will result in corrective
> measures. Those who repeatedly fail to comply will be summarily
> scrutinized by the staff at Armchair Anthropologist, and may find
> themselves subjects of a future AA study!
> 
>         As thinking people in a world without gods and superstition,
> we must trust in the machine of Science. It is, literally, our only
> hope.
> 
>         - TR
>         - Chairman, _Armchair Anthropologist_.