 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
sigh |
|
|
|
< -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------> |
|
|
|
 |
|
|
well i jsut got done packing for the us i wont have to start school till monday but even if i never started school again it would be too soon im going to fly back all by myself hmmmm where i feel safe ? i dont know but oi things are just always depressing until i just say fuck everything i dont give a shit then it gets better but its only a flase happiness oh well ill be with my freinds and ill be spending time with them and ill get some sort of vechicle even if i have to get a job yah harsh huh oi i really want a motorcycle its like my everywaking thought but yah i guess other things are important too but if i have the motorcycle its like im free of everything else like if i can jsut get on this thing itll take me away and no problems will ever catch me while im crusing oi kris has all my stuff i wonder if shell give it back really i dont care anymore i mean everything that was important to me i left with her but nothing is important to me anymore its like i just want someone else to run my life because i dont care anymore i really dont think id flinch looking down the barrel of a gun so jsut someone who actually cares about my life so that at least someone does ... i guess that doesnt make sense and its selfish and greedy yadda yadda i kno i kno im not expecting it to happen im planning on being miserable for the all my life so if noone wants to care then hey im not disappointed sigh jeez i just wish i could go in the woods and live there without ever seeing another human again yah i kno its gotta get boring but i dont think it will i mean survival is the only thing i been good at so ill get to finally use it i dont know... im rambling i feel like ive been insensitive and mean to ppl and i kno that everyone else thinks i did the right thing but ... i dont live by other ppls standards i live by my own and just cuz someone does soemthing doesnt mean that i should do the same thing to them i dont know if she even cares so maybe i did the right thing if she does care and i hurt her them im sorry i jsut always feel i have to protect the innocent and when they are mistreated it pisses me off oi maybe im a good person ? nah bs i bring way too much pain for that .... when have i ever brought pain to ppl ... im not sure but i had to soemtime right ? when im flying to texas theres a stop in newyork ive been thinking about just getting off at new york and not taking the flight to houston seems like the only thing that i can control i dont know wtf id do in newyork though guess i could get some jobs and try to find a place to live either that or make some freinds fast i dont know i leave tomorrow at 11 so i dont have long to make up my mind if do do that then ill be walking out on my last year of highschool ppl seem to think its important but i could just get a ged no problem its not like im stupid am i i dont know for a long time i didnt thinki was cuz i could get whatever grades i wanted to put the effort into but that doesnt make me smart i guess maybe being smart had more to do with emotions and descions in life i dont know i think maybe im jsut more like other ppl than i kno i mean if we all went through the exact same things in our lives would we be the same i dont think wed be the same but pretty damn close i dont know for sure though i dont know anything for sure who does ? i dont know sigh well i better get a bath and get some sleep maybe something will come to me in a dream right i never even remember my dreams |
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
main
|
|
|
|
< -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------> |
|