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arghhhhh losing my mind
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i think im losing my mind i just wanna sleep forever but i cant do that so im gonna sleep all day arghhhhh is anyone even fucking reading this .. i dont know ...i dont know .. ive been cut off from everyone and everything ... worse yet even if i was'nt i dont know what the fuck i would do ... its not like i have a plan and lately ive been having the most wonderful dreams for once in my life i can remember them but then i wake up and find there only dreams not real .. thell never be real there just there to dangel my hopes and desires in my face ... cruel cruel reality lmao i dont even know if anyone reads this anymore its been awhile the only ppl who ever read it ... ive lost touch with them hope fully ill be able to talk to them again before i lose my mind but even when i do what would i say to them i dont know what i want to do theres ppl and responsibilites and love and pain and desire and i just cant sort out all the shit my dad told i didnt seem very happy here in china told me i should probally go back to the u.s. lol the u.s. like i was ever happy there no pretty much everywhere i go ill only be miserable again makes me jsutt wanna ditch everyone ditch the world and just live in the forest away from mindless stupid humans and there destructive ways ... i dont know what the fuck to do ...i have this idea im afraid of i think that unless something happens to stop it ... everthings jsut gonna go back to the way it was before for me  ... and ill forget it ever changed but i dont want that i couldve have been happy in this place where i am ... well was but still i couldve been happy there it was a nice place nice ppl but now things come back from long before bad omens that things will return to there old ways before i could even start something new ... oh well eventually in this as in all other things i will have my apathy good day to those who are listening
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