5 Best Excuses for When You Get Caught Falling Asleep at Your Desk:
- 5 "Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out. You probably got here just in time!"
- 4 "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."
- 3 "Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."
- 2 "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot..."
- 1 " ... in Jesus' name. Amen."
Bad Things to Hear Your Pilot Say on and Airplane
Could somebody come up here and tell me what this button does?
We're cruising at an altitude of... ah... I don't know.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Just kidding.
Passengers on the left side of the plane -- does that engine sound funny to you?
Goodness, Steve! We're going to crash! Oops -- is this intercom on?
We'll be on the ground in 10 minutes. One way or another.
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A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and visa-versa." Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep.
The lawyer, now some what agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $50!" figuring that since she is a blonde that he will easily win the match. This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls out a $5 bill and hands it to the lawyer. Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer: "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the Net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his coworkers and friends. All to no avail.
After over an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $50. The blonde politely takes the $50 and turns away to get back to sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, so what IS the answer!?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.