This many couples have passed through

I have no trouble whatsoever using the word Obey in my vows...since it's not understood or implied to mean, "Honey, Here's my back, here's some hockey blades, walk all over my back" situation.

We were very lucky to find a Pastor who has actually read the Bible ;P and thus doesn't look at this as a husband dominated situation.

The Christian marriage is a symbolic representation of the marriage of the Church (not the big, brown pointy building, but the Christians who make up the body) as the Bride to her groom, Christ.

In the Ten Commandments, one of them says, Children, Love, Honor, and Obey your parents, and it's implied to mean R-E-S-P-E-C-T (maybe I should play that song after I say "obey" to do a quick, explanation to the non-Christian attendees what I mean when I say, to love, honor and obey to the one I love). After all, look at whose saying this, Christ....A man who went to women who at the time had no respect, were consider disposable property, the Pharisees treated worst than dirt and witness to them who in turn spread Christ's message. Mary Magdalene was a prostitute, yet was one of his most devout followers.....

However has it's mentioned in both the Book of Timothy and even in the Book of Jude, even within the body of Christ, the Church, there are wolf in sheep's clothing who have used the Bible, out of context, to justify, not God's law or will, but man's will...Prime example, the mistreatment (ack, I mis-spelled, sorry) of women first and foremost, the attempt to justify slavery as this is what God wants...Sorry, God sent Christ to deliver us from Slavery not place us in another form of slavery. Galatians said it best: Gal. 3:8”There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.”

The story of Nabel, David and Abigail in 1 Samuel 25:1-43 is an excellent example of what happens when a man mistreats his wife.

Beware those who use just the phrase, Wives Submit to your Husband." Remind them, be it with your fist, your purse, whatever is handy, that there is another part to that. One that says hmmm....let's see, "Satan" okay, more than just that , Christ COMMANDED not request, not suggest, but commanded husbands "Husbands, love your wives and DO NOT be harsh with them. 

God didn't say, dominate them, he didn't say, beat them into submission, he said LOVE them. Scary concept, but yes, husbands were told to Love them...
Ephesians goes on to say, Ephesians 5:25-27"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church,, without stain, or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless (yep ladies us, not them ;P).

Ephesians 5:28, "In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church-for we are members of his body. For this reason, a man will leave his father and other and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.

There is a reason why most churches require premarital counseling...It's a cooling off period between the engagement and the wedding and a moment of really finding out what we are getting into....

Ephesians 5:22-23 goes, "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which is the Savior. Colossians sums it up faster, "Col 3:18, "Wives submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord." God is not telling us, present our backs so we can be walk on...God's basically saying, look respect the man, he's trying...he was born in the barn, yeah, and there are time you want to dunk his head in the toilet bowl for leaving the seat up and say "Bad boy, don't do that again," but give the guy a chance, he's trying...Maybe not fast enough, but he's trying.

So do I have a problem with using the word Obey?? Nope...No more than when I tell God that I'm willing to understand and obey his words and commands....Christian basically means " a combination of the word Christ and you . Great book to read, How to begin the Christian Life by George Sweeny. Sort of a 101 on being a Christian....another good book is Help Me Believe by Cliffe Knechtle and of course, to really read the Bible as a whole and not in parts...that's the dangerous part when we break it down to find what suits us and not what suits God.

Wanted to share a few articles on the web to:
http://www.azcentral.com/rep/style/articles/0531vows.html
http://www.weddingguide.co.uk/articles/ceremonies/toobey.asp
http://www.momof9splace.com/obey.html

God doesn't want us as women to be slaves....There is a reason in Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:4-6 (this is an excellent one), Ephesians 5:28, and it's repeated so on....We are equal partners, man and woman in marriage...representing the unity of Christ and his believers as one...Christ in Matthew 10:24 said, "A student is not above his teacher, nor a servant above his master. Gal. 3:8”There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.”

I speak as a woman who loves and respect what is only a blessing from God. Despite everything, Rob and I were able to meet when we shouldn't have met and there were times we went through we shouldn't have made through but our faith in God and his mysterious workings and our reliance and faith on each other pulled us through.

So to make a long story short...Yeah...going to say Obey on my wedding day...Hey...just made a rhyme there....Cool.