These are
actual church newsletter bloopers where the writers' bad English or sentence
structure makes these disastrous but HILARIOUS notices.
Don't let worry kill you -- let the church help.
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery
downstairs.
Weight Watchers
will meet a 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double
door at the side entrance.
Jean will be leading a weight-management series Wednesday nights. She's used
the program herself and has been growing like crazy!
The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan
Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs... Julius Belzer.
This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the
church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
Tuesday at 4:00 p.m. there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk
will please come early.
This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an
egg on the altar.
The service will
close with Little Drops of Water. One of the ladies will start quietly and the
rest of the congregation will join in.
Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new
carpet. All those wishing to do something on the carpet should come forward
and do so.
The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be
seen in the church basement Saturday.
Thursday night--Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new
members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a
good sermon when A. B. Doe supplied our pulpit.
The Rev. Adams spoke briefly, much to the delight of his audience.
The church is glad to have with us today as our guest minister the Rev.
Shirley Green, who has Mrs. Green with him. After the service we request that
all remain in the sanctuary for the Hanging of the Greens.
The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet" in the church
basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this
tragedy.
Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled.
Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing,
"Break Forth Into Joy."
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So
ends a friendship that began in their school days.
Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary
Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from
Africa.
The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and
gracious hostility.
"Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those
things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands."
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will
follow.
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person(s)
you want remembered.
Say "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a
conflict.
The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight:
"Searching for Jesus."
Thursday at 5:00 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All
wishing to become little mothers, please see the minister in his study.
Ushers will eat latecomers
The agenda was adopted...the minutes were approved...the financial secretary
gave a grief report.