Aunt Jemima, Deep CaVity, Watch 'em Wiggle and Face Plant Puke Princess
From the 1938 charter of the Kuala Lumpur Hash House Harriers
� To promote physical fitness among our members
� To get rid of weekend hangovers
� To acquire a good thirst and to satisfy it in beer
� To persuade the older members that they are not as old as they feel
Like all good hash names, it started as a bit of an insult...
As in "Why the hell don't you ever come to your own hash? Always going to everone elses's like a couple of Road Whores?"
And so a new hash was born...
Basically a hash consists of three main parts, none of which have anything to do with the marijuana or hashish:
The Run (aka Trail)
One or two hashers, called the hare(s), lay a trail. They mark their trail with chalk arrows, shredded paper, flour, or pieces of toilet paper hanging in the bush, depending on local tradition or terrain. They might pre-lay trail a day or a few hours before the hash, or they might lay the trail as "live hares," running ahead of the pack with only a short (15 minutes is typical) head start. At a given signal, the rest of the hash (the Harriers, Harriettes, hounds, or pack) set off in pursuit of the trail. The idea is to keep the pack somewhat together and this is achieved by setting false trails, cunning checks, and sneaky loops. The fitter front runners will often run twice as far as the more slothful members, yet still finish the run at the same time as the rest of the pack. The length and difficulty of the run depends on the hare and the terrain but will typically be between four and eight kilometers, or about 45 minutes to an hour of running with checks, false trails, and shortcutting.
The Circle (aka Religion)
At trail's end hashers gather to drink beer and observe religious ceremonies . . . which consist of drinking more beer, this time ritualistically. Circles may be led by the hash Grandmaster, the Religious Adviser, or by a committee of mismanagement. Traditions (and the degree of rowdiness) vary from hash to hash, but in general the Circle consists of awarding "Down-Downs" for misdemeanors real, imagined, or blatantly made up, and the recipients will most likely have been dobbed in by their fellow hashers. Visitors are always given a Visitors Down-Down as are Virgins (first-time hash runners) and anyone else who comes to the attention of the Circle. The Circle can last a couple of minutes or half the night depending on the level of religious fervor of the hash. With changing times drinking has lost some of its importance and most clubs now modify their ceremonies to cater to non-drinkers and those stupid enough to think that hashing can improve their health.
The On-On (aka On-On-On, On-Afters, or Apr�s)
Some hashes suspend ceremonies for awhile to consume food provided by the hare(s). Other hashes, at the conclusion of the Circle, repair to a nearby restaurant or pub. This is the social part of the hash, and the party usually breaks up afterward. In some hashes, however, religion may continue during or after On-Ons, with the telling of jokes and singing of songs, and all members, visitors, and virgins should come armed with at least one joke or song lest they be called upon.
� The above article originally written by Steve "Modess" Trinka and stolen from the Hunter HHH page
Our lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink,
Thy will be drunk, (I will be drunk),
At home as in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillages,
As we forgive those who spill against us.
And lead us not to incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers.
For thine is the beer, The bitter and
The lager.
Forever and ever,
Barmen.
About Hashing
One hasher's opinion: MINE!
What is hashing? A social event comprised of; a game, exercise, beer drinking, singing. The game: Hare and Hounds. A person, designated the hare, with a head start, lays a trail of "hash." The rest of those present, designated the pack of hounds, follows the trail to catch the hare. Exercise: running or walking the trail of hash. The trail can be short or VERY long. Beer drinking: done at any time from arrival to departure. There are often beer "checks" on the trail. Singing: Sometimes done at the start, nearly always done at the end. And most often concluded with a beer being drunk by someone.
What is "hash"? Hash is the name given to baking flour used to mark the trail. "Hash" is usually thrown by the handfulls at varying intervals depending on the hare and the terrain. Chalk is also used to make certain markings and to write instructions.
What is "the hash"? Besides the flour, the term is loosely used to identify the group of people that hash together. Each "hash" has a name, ours is "Fort Eustis Hash House Harriers." This hash was founded in November, 1971, by personnel assigned to Ft Eustis. Every "hash" name is followed by Hash House Harriers, abbreviated "hash."
How do I join? There is no "membership," except that when you participate regularly you are considered a member. There is no "membership fee" although there is often a collection at the beginning of the hash which pays for the beer and other things needed/used by the hash.
How do I find a hash? There are many web sites for and by hashing clubs. On the "Links" page of this site are links to other hashes and to national/global sites. From those sites you can find almost ANY hash.
How do I find the date/time of a hash event? Look for a "Hotline" for the hash you're interested in. If there is none, look for a contact phone number, e-mail, or postal mail address.
Do I have to run? While most do run, others walk. If the hash is called a "bash", it's done on bicycles. You could volunteer to help in other ways, dependent on the hash and/or the hash trail. Speak to the persons managing the event, they're often glad for help.
What can I expect for the money collected at the start of the hash? Beer, normally. Water, maybe. Soda/pop, it depends. Sports drinks (gatorade), it depends. Count on beer. Often some food, from snacks to gormet meals -- the level is a reflection of the amount of money collected; more money, more food.
Can I bring my pet? If you mean a dog, usually. You can always bring your pocket mouse. But, whatever pet you bring, it's your responsibility for everything from water to drink to a bowl for the pet to drink from. If the trail goes over a six-foot barbed wire topped fence, then you'll have to lift that 150-lb St Bernard up, over, and down the other side. Check with the hash before you bring your pet to find out if the trail is animal-friendly.
Can I bring my friend? Yes. You can bring all the friends you'd like, just have them bring money.
How should I dress? However you'd like. But, if you wear NEW shoes, you'll be drinking beer out of them at the end of the hash. Remember that you may be going through creeks and briars -- them new $60 running tights won't last too long.
What kind of behavior can I expect? Typically a party atmosphere, with some nudity. Hashers usually go where the animals go, and when you drink beer, you gotta go.
What is a virgin? A person who has never hashed before.
Why do you all have those weird names? To protect the guilty. More seriously, it's not who we are that's important, it's that we're out there to hash, to have fun, to socialize. Having those weird names puts us all at about the same level socially.
Why all the singing? Why not?
(Courtesy of the Phoenix AZ Hash House Harriers)
(Q) How do I join the Hash
(A) Just show up to one of the runs. On your first run, you will be a virgin but can consider yourself a hasher from that point on. In Boston you will usually get a hash name on your fourth run.
(Q) If I attend a hash, do I have any obligation to show up regularly or pay dues.
(A) In Boston, the $10 you pay at the end of each run is the only money we ask you to pay. We have people who show up once a week and we have people who show up once a year (or less). If you had a good time, come back. If you decide that hashing is not for you, just stop showing up.
(Q) What exactly is a "Hash Name"?
(A) A"Hash Name" is the name that hashers go by during hash events. Every hash member receives a hash name by the other hasher after about their attended third or fourth run. Usually this name has some connection with a personal embarrassing event, or has sexual implications. In any case, it is usually a name that you don�t refer to in public, sing on your e-mails, or put on your resume. The more embarrassed or dissatisfied you are with your hash name, the more likely the hashers will keep it.
(Q) So what's the deal with the term "Hash"?
(A) Okay, here's the story: The Hash House Harriers phenomenon began in 1938 with an Englishman named Albert Stephen Gispert in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. He gathered together a group of British expatriates to play a variation of a game known as the "paper chase" or "Hares and Hounds", an English schoolboy's game. The group got its name from their hangout, The Selangor Club, which was commonly called the "Hash House" due to its barely edible food.
(Q) I'm oversensitive and easily offended. Is Hashing right for me?
(A) No. You should find a different hobby (suing people, tree hugging, protesting, etc.)
(Q) What kind of people attend the Hash?
(A) People from all walks of life, from judges to students. You'll find hard core runners, non-competitive runners, walkers, and those that just like to get out and get a little exercise. In all cases, they are people that enjoy a good laugh, and can have some fun socializing while still getting some exercise.
(Q) Can I bring my children to a Hash event?
(A) It's not recommended unless you're setting aside money for psychotherapy. Spend a little money on a babysitter.
(Q) Can I participate in a Hash event without being forced to drink alcohol?
(A) Absolutely. Although a healthy tolerance for people who drink is desirable, the point of hashing is to have fun and get some exercise.
(Q) I want to be a hare. What do I do?
(A) First, attend a few runs so that you get the idea of what hashing is about. After that, see our Hare Raiser, who is usally looking for people to set runs. You will probably want to have a co-hare to help out and show you the ropes.
Contributed by Stephan Rees
Due to increasing products liability litigation, beer manufacturers have accepted the Medical Association's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer containers:
"WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not."
"WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a wanker."
"WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN."
"WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish."
"WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning."
"WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what in the world could have happened to your trousers."
"WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting."
"WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers."
"WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and/or name you can't remember)."
"WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead."
"WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer, and smarter than some really, really big guy named ARNOLD."
"WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible."
"WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you."
"WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear."
