The Really Big Church
of Wildfire 1066
This is my cult and my church it's the beliefs and things that may the days worth drudging thru and give promise for the future. It's a cult of love I guess and it's one I think a lot of people will recognize. Not in the name specifically but in the style. The object of devotion may vary but the theme might be similar.
For me this object of devotion is my love Wild, or Dana, depending on how well you know her. And if you do know her even somewhat well you might well understand why I have built this church in her honor. She is funny, tolerant, humble, and beautiful. There's not much not to like. She is slightly faulted at times but all people are. She is indeed mortal and she is indeed faulted. But she does things far beyond those that normal people do, for me at least. And in these acts she has become something worthy of love and devotion.
I'm Wild's Devotee. And my grand pursuit in life is to make her happy. Now some people will say that's just plain sad to value yourself so little as to claim to live for another. However it's something deeper than that.
The truth is that I didn't have a sense of worth before I knew what love was. When Wild came along I was a rather broken man and I was down and depressed. I didn't see anything of worth in who I was and to be honest often I thought I didn't want to live. I couldn't see any happiness in my life and those things I accomplished seemed empty. Then Wild entered the picture. I had been in love before and I had fallen out just the same but there was something different about her. We were friends and we talked and she bolstered me up as a friend. We laughed, she listened, and gradually I felt better. And it was only at this point that I started to really look at her with new eyes. Wild became something very beautiful to me, very considerate, and very kind, and above all she helped me feel some measure of self worth. And the interest has since matured. And so has the way I feel about myself. So maybe I'm paying her back for my recovery. But maybe it's something more.
Maybe it's what I've learned about her since, her compassion, her capacity to forgive, and her loyalty and the depth of her love. And maybe it's something in the way she makes me feel. It's rewarding her for simply being the wonderful woman that she is. And it's doing things that make her happy especially when there is a degree of personal neutrality.
Wild offers all those promises and things that the cults of love hold out. But she also provides the companionship and the completion I've sought all my life. She's there for me when I need someone and provides some sanity, and maybe more importantly a place to hide and a person to curl up with and feel safe again. And she doesn't ask for much in return for all those benefits. Basically she provides everything I need and could ever want. And to be honest who could ask for anything more, and what else could provide that.
I haven't found an answer to either of those, maybe since I haven't searched for either. But my only conclusion is that in my life she is one of the very few things to ever bring me true joy. And she is the only thing in my life truly worthy of my praise and adoration. So she's my cult and I'll love and adore her for who she is and how she makes me feel, and isn't that really why we should adore and devote ourselves to persons or things? So is it not a fit cult?