And Here We Are
It's been almost 7 weeks since Kari, Haley, and Thomas moved in and changed my life for the better. I am overwhelmed by the feelings I have for Kari and still stumble to find words to do them justice. She requites my passions and finds something in my quirks and oddities which I never will be able to explain. And in her I have discovered a woman more willing to give and to love than I had ever hoped to know. She has made me happier than I can begin to explain and she has made me more complete than I thought possible. There are parts of my heart which she has opened that I didn't know existed and she has touched my very soul, if I were the type to believe in such a thing.
The kids seem to have adjusted well to this new life. Haley just began first grade in mid August and she seems to have taken to me rather well. And Thomas being almost 3 is inquisitive and dangerous at the same time. Kari found employment with the local paper and I being in career and educational limbo have found some fulfillment in filling the role of stay at home dad. It's allowed me to both get in touch with the kids and to ease Kari's frustration and lessen the load as best I can, tho I admit even with both of us it is quite a strain. I find perhaps I had sold family too short cause I increasingly find enjoyment in being whatever it is I am. I take some measure of enjoyment out of being called dad every now and then tho don't tell Kari (wink). Somehow this little apartment has become a home even tho a temporary one. Kari desires a homier setting at some point. I don't think my mix and match furnishings and bachelor style accomodations suit her all that well. But we are happy and I see no reason we won't be in the future.
It's difficult to put a finger on where love begins, I suppose it finds roots in conversation and mutual concern. And it increases with contact and intimacy. Explaining how it ends is perhaps just as difficult and cloudy. But I know how it grows and perpetuates itself. Somewhere there is expression, with a mixture of intimacy, and there must always be some wonder or awe. And in the mix you find love and you nurture it. Granted Kari and I haven't been together all that long in the grand scheme of things. But in the time we have been together I have learned much and discovered things which continue to amaze me. She fills the voids in me. And perhaps more importantly it seems I complete her as well. It reciprocates itself and I know that I don't know what I'd do without her. Or how I've gone so long without feeling like this. She is so much a part of me that I don't feel right away from her. I lack the desire to escape or be separated from her and somehow when I am with her I feel right.
I guess I'm a family man now. I have this little world of my own and it just seems natural, save a couple near disasters and frustrations with plumbing and kids being kids. I'm needed and I'm loved and that means the world to me. And I have a beautiful woman at my side and two adorable kids that I have slipped and called mine, (again don't tell Kari she'll think I have a fever). And the doubts and jealous accusations of others just dont matter anymore. Cause I'm happy and I sense I make Kari happy, the kids seem happy and well provided. And for those who would say I am being taken advantage of, well damn I hope this ends up being downright abuse cause I'm loving it so far. So whip me, beat me, and call me bitch. And call me often.
