| stuff happened |
| CHAPTER 1 He felt that his life still wasn�t complete. Shindler never really felt accepted, not even by his love, Kinta. He left for a reason; he thought he knew that he wasn�t ready to be a �man�. It was in the late fall of November and his life seem to be falling apart at random. He had his whole life ahead of him, but he wasn�t ready for what Kinta wanted. �We have our whole lives ahead of us.� Shindler said. �I know,� Kinta said. �But I want to wed now.� �I just do not think that I am ready for a commitment like that. I am barely out of schooling; do you honestly think that thou are ready for something of that depth, you being four years younger than I?� he replied. �Just because my father thinks that I am not fully prepared for marriage doesn�t make it so,� she said. �I said nothing of your father. I do not care what he thinks. Besides that, even if you were ready, our age does put a bit of a halt in the love, no?� said Shindler. �Age matters not my sweet, for when �adults� are wed, they can be years from each other and still be happy and respected by the gentry and Church.� �That is not the point. The point, which is that even if you were my age, I don�t think that you are prepared for such a commitment,� barked Shindler. �That�s your opinion in the matter; I think that I am just as well prepared as you are.� she responded. �Case in point, considering I am not yet ready for such a commitment myself,� he said with anger and sorrow. �Fair well my love, for thy want is too much for my liking.� �You dare to leave me lonely and unfulfilled?� Kinta questioned. �If that is what it takes to prove to thee what love I have for thee because my leaving would be for the best of things.� �How would your love being taken from me be for the best?� said Kinta. �It is for the best my sweet, for neither of us is ready for such an event to take place in our lives that we would call it �love�, or �true love�, for that matter,� he said as tears began to roll down his cheeks. �If thou wish to leave, then let it be, but know that you are leaving me with a broken heart and soul.� �And may thee know that if I was to stay here with thee, I would stay with a broken heart and a shattered soul,� said Shindler, as he walked away. As he took his leave, she shouted after him: �Does thou do this be cause of mine father and his idle threats?� � No my dear, for nothing you father could say nor do could ever keep me from thy love. For it is because I love you that I leave thee, and if you loved me as well you would bid me farewell on my journey to become what I need to be. And it is what I crave to become that will prepare me for the love that thou wishes to give me, for I can not rightly take it without being ready to return such a bounty.� �Go then, and return when you, my love, think that our love can truly be what it needs to be,� she said, but not whole-heartedly. �I then walk from thee, but only to return when the time is right,� whispered Shindler. �And when will that be my love?� �Only God Himself could be able to tell,� said Shindler as he took his final leave and left his love with a kiss on her lips and tears on her cheeks. As she retired from her tears, she lay on her bed and began to ponder the times in which she and Shindler had been together and when the time would come when they would be together as one. As she lay there, she began to wonder why the situation had become what it was now. Their lives had seemed to be perfect, with the exception of her father. But she fell in love with Shindler all the same, despite her father�s threats to disown her. Her had threatened her with this only a few short days after she and Shindler met. He had said: �I forbid you too see that �man�. He is four years your elder and he is a no good orphan. He has neither rules nor potential, and I will not let you get caught up in the wild dreams of that pedophile.� And that was the end of it from her father�s point of view. All he had to say had been said, and now there would be more to say. When her father discovers that she is upset and her �so-called� love is nowhere to be found, he will undoubtedly blame Shindler for such actions taking place, when then, he would not be in the wrong. But Kinta tried to put all of that in the back of her mind, for it was now hopeless to wish for Shindler because he was no longer available for wishing for. He was gone and she was in despair, but her thoughts were that, even though it hurt to lose her love, it must be for the best, for Shindler would never intentionally hurt her, and she knew this. Even when these problems didn�t plague his mind, he had always done what was best for her, even if it meant hurting himself to save her from the pain. Kinta�s father now entered the room to wish her a good night when he realized, in the manner of her sleeping and the way her eyes looked, that she had been crying. As he woke her, she was still wiping tears for her wet eyes. �Why have you been crying my daughter?� asked her father. �I have not been crying father, I have just been rubbing my eyes, for I am sleepy. Please let me retire to bed.� �Very well then, sweet dreams.� �Only if they are about Shindler,� she whispered. �What was that my dear?� questioned her father. �Nothing father, let me sleep.� she lied. ------------------------------------- In the morning, her father�s storming up to her room woke her. She was startled, but at the same time, she was not at all surprised. She had suspected that her father would find out about Shindler�s leaving the town and now confront her of her lie as well as blame Shindler for her obvious crying and pain. This would create an even stronger case on her father�s behalf because he now had the defense that Shindler has caused her pain and would undoubtedly do it again if he were ever to come near her again. �I have just received word that your �love� has fled the town. He did this last evening. I am sure that you knew of this and that is the reason that you were crying. I received word from his housemate. He did not return from his walk last evening and he thought that maybe Shindler he stayed the night. When I told him this he then asked me to question you about his whereabouts. � �I do not now where he is, but yes, I know that he left,� She said. �Why then did you lie about your tears and despair?� asked her father. She did not answer. �You dare not to answer your own father? You will respond or I will make you respond,� he shouted at her as he began to violently hit and slap her face and head. As she wept, only a little from the wounds but mainly from her loss, she began to spit blood out of her mouth from the wound that had been made on her outer lip. He ceased to hit her and took pride in his accomplishment. �I suppose the reason you didn�t want to tell me the truth is because you hate the fact that my threats rid this family of that man. Another reason you probably neglected to tell me is that you do not wish to see me rejoice in the leaving of the one that you suppose ably love.� �I do love him father, but you will never understand, for you do not even care about me, much less who I love!� she cried. �You do not even know what love is you fool,� he snapped back as he exited the room. �I may just leave and go with him on his journey,� she screamed at her father as he walked away. �That would give me no heartache,� he replied quietly as he walked down the hall. She was not sure if her father had heard what she had said, but she didn�t care. She had got her feelings out after so many years, for she and Shindler had been in love for two years now. As her father joined her mother down stairs in the kitchen, she quietly got dress in her day cloths and proceeded to exit the house via the window. After she was outside, she sent word to her friends to come and get her and take her away from her home. She also requested an extra horse, so that she too may ride. When her companions arrived they notice almost right away the marks that her father had left on her after the lashing. When questioned she just gave them a blank expression and they knew right then what had taken place. What they didn�t know was the situation and location of Shindler. �Kinta, why are you so downtrodden?� asked Sarah, a close friend. �I am not downtrodden, only a little confused as to the reason of this mornings beating. My father had no explanation,� she lied. As they rode on, they were confronted by one of the regulars coming back from town, which is where Kitten lives, one of Kinta�s other friends, and that is where they were riding. The boy that confronted them seemed to be a friend or know a friend of Shindler�s because his first question concerned this matter. �Do you know the whereabouts of Shindler, Kinta? No one else in town seems to know where he has disappeared to and the situation is starting to trouble his roommate and I. You have been his lover for the past two years, are you not?� He was obviously not that great of a friend to Shindler considering that her wasn�t even sure of the two year relationship that had gone on between herself and her love. �Yes I have, and no, I have no idea as to where my love has run off to or when he will return. I�m sure that he will comeback in due time.� she replied as she then ignored the boy and rode on. �Something else is the matter,� said Sarah. �Yes, you have deceived us,� continued Star, another comrade. �My deceptions are my own business, as well as what is the matter with me at this point, so leave the problem be.� Kinta said angrily. �Please tell us what is wrong Kinta,� said another girl. Kinta did not know this girls name but was sure she was a friend of Sarah and Star, or else she would not have been brought along for the ride. �Yes Kinta, tell us what is wrong. You know that we hate to see you in such a state of despair.� Star complained. �The state of despair I am in is nothing to bother over. It is a personal situation between my love and I.� she replied. �Then do tell us what has taken place,� said Sarah. �We wish to know what you are being put through and, if we can, assist you in the matter. We wish not to be left in the dark. We beg of you, please let us help you.� �There is nothing in which I need assistance in. I am not a cripple. I am a competent women who care take care of herself.� she insisted. �Though you may not be physically crippled, your emotions reflect definite weakness and seem to be in need of help.� Sarah said. �Dear Sarah, your have been a life long friend and a soul mate as well. But the assistance I seek can come only from one person who is no longer available for offering help,� said Kinta. �We are almost to Kitten�s house and I wish not to plague her life and day with the same despairs that plague my own.� �I do agree with that. Kitten is a most cheerful person and I do not wish to be the one that deprives her and everyone else of that pleasure,� said Sarah. �One that note, I end this conversation,� Kinta said. �Then I do agree that we start another, for we have at least another ten to fifteen minuets until we get to Kitten�s dwelling� said the other girl, and Kinta still did not know her name. �I second that notion, for these rides do tend to get restless with the lack of conversation,� agreed Star. So as they rode on their horses toward their destination, many of conversations were started and dismissed because of their content. But after another five or ten minutes, they had arrived at the house of Kitten. It was not long after the dismounted off of their horses and walked them into the stable that Kitten herself came out of the house to greet them. �Hello my fellow comrades,� yelled Kitten. �How are you all on this wonderful morning?� If she had had any idea already about where Shindler was, when he left, or that he was gone at all, she gave no notice. �We all are doing just well this morning my dear Kitten, and how might you be?� replied Star, speaking for all of the girls. �I am the same as the usual, not hungry but ever so lonely,� said Kitten. Kitten lived by herself because she had no parents or guardians, but even if she did, she was over the age of having to be taken care of. She was a very competent woman who was a working girl in the Town Square, and she was very goo at her job. �Any business lately Kitten?� asked Star, just kidding of course. But Kitten, being the person she was, and comfortable with her job replied, �Yes, much in the past few days, but not too much in abundance that I cannot handle.� �Nothing is ever too much in abundance when it comes to giving that kind of pleasure,� cried Kinta. �You are ever so good at what you do, how do you do it so well?� �It is not that difficult, you just need to have former experiences with the subject,� said Kitten. �Maybe that is the reason for Shindler�s fleeing!� blurted out the girl without a name. Kinta had never thought about it in that way, but it could be one of many explanations that could be put forward for the reason(s) that Shindler left. Kinta had never been face with the problem of having to try to please Shindler physically. They had participated in physical actions, but never had they ever done the things that Kitten does to her customers. But the way Kinta saw it, Shindler would never leave her for such a horrible reason. And if he had left her for that very bad reason, he would have told her about it on the time of his leaving. �Shindler has fled town?� asked Kitten. �Yes, it is true,� confessed Kinta as though she had some how lied to Kitten by not telling her when they had arrived. �Did he say why?� said Kitten �No, he gave me no reason,� replied Kinta. �That is why I think that inexperience in �certain areas� might have been the cause of his fleeing. "That is preposterous," cried Kitten. "That life style may be favorable to me, but never to Shindler. I have known that man since before the time that we were in schooling together, and I have never heard of such a thing referring to Shindler,� Kitten cried with disgust in her voice. �And since he has come to my aid in many of situations that required help on someone else�s part and no one else seemed to offer, I will defend him until my death.� �I do agree with that,� said Kinta. �And I do say that we end this subject and start a new one.� �I second that notion,� agreed Kitten. �Let us now discuss the marks that are on your beautiful face. They were not there the last time that we saw each other, no?� �There were not there the last time that we conversed. They are fresh marks. They happened just this morn. My father had out rage toward the subject that we are no longer discussing,� said Kinta. �But I would have thought that your father would rejoice at such a happening,� questioned Star. �Now, now,� said Kitten. �We are no longer discussing that subject, do you not remember Star?� �Leave her be Kitten,� Kinta said. �If it is not discussed by myself with someone, the feelings will be too much to bear. Furthermore, I would much rather converse with you all, my comrades, about this subject than anyone else. I am not sure that anyone other person would understand me as well you all.� �I am very glad that you comfortable consulting us with your troubles, but I fear that there is not much that I, nor the other girls, can do to help you in your time of need.� �I wish not for you to help me, in that sense, I wish only for your company in this time of trial,� replied Kinta �And so shall it be granted to thee,� said Kitten. After long, long conversations with Kitten, Sarah, Star, Kinta and the girl she now knew as Dominique, rod off for Kitten�s house, for Kitten had a customer to tend to. After they had parted, the girls decided to go into the town square and see what was on sale at the fabric market. On approaching the market Kinta noticed that there was an abundance of new cloths for sale. She, knowing the shopkeeper, asked were they were purchased from. The women running the shop said that someone who was leaving town gave them to her husband just last night. �They must have lived here once,� said the girl. �For they knew to ask for my husband by name. They might have been able to acquire his name from someone whom they where the clothing market was located.� Then Kinta realized that the cloths all looked very familiar. As she began to handle the cloths she saw then that these were all of Shindler�s cloths. He must have sold them for money so that he could survive that lonely journey thought Kinta. But the shopkeeper said that they were given to her husband. �Do you know where the clothing might have come for?� asked the women. �Whom ever gave them away was either very foolish, for they are very nice cloths, or they are very generous.� �The person whom gave your husband these cloths is very generous indeed, but also very foolish,� said Kinta. She laughed at her own comment to Shindler�s foolishness, although she knew him to be very wise. �Please madam, tell me whom this person was so that I may offer him thanks and praise for his wonderful offering. These items will sell for much on the market strand,� said the girl. �This person is no longer available for thanking,� replied Kinta. �Do you imply that this individual as left the town to be on his on?� asked the girl to Kinta. �That is so my good lady.� She replied. � Was this person a comrade of yours?� �He was my significant other.� Kinta replied. Kinta was surprised that this women did not know of the love that her and Shindler had shared for two years. Almost all of the gentry and town knew of their love and relationship, even the church. �I am then sorry for you loss madam,� said the girl. �But it is a shame that he left, if he was leaving, without all of these cloths.� �And why is that my lady,� Kinta questioned. �Well, if he was leaving the town then he must by now be very hungry and cold,� replied the girl. �Why do you say that my lady,� �For, if he gave all of his cloths to my husband, he left with only the clothing on his body and no food for when my husband received these clothes from him, all of the food shops and stores were closed,� said the women. �Thank you for your assistance,� said Kinta as she took her leave. �I will be sure to inform you if I manage to find him madam,� call the women. �That will not necessary my lady for you will not be able to,� call Kita, back to the women. It upset Kinta that her love was out, on his own, with out the company of someone, for he went by himself she was sure, and without properly cleaned cloths to keep him warm or good food for nourish of his body. But, even though she had worry for her love, she kept the though tin her mind that he knew what he was doing. �He knows what is best for him self� she would think. �His life is his own to control, he can do what he may with it, but I just pray to God that he come back to me.� After they had been in the town for long enough, the girls decided to got to Star�s house. Dominique had to stay in town to wait for her father to come and get her, because they had just received a new house and Dominique did not know where it was located. Star just told Dominique to bring the horse her house and give it back at a later time, and then Sarah, Star and Kinta were on their way. �What ever do you plan on doing at my house that could have not done at yours?� questioned Star. �You are the one who suggested my dwellings instead of you own.� �I just do not want to have to face my father again. He is still very angry,� Kinta replied. �You never did clarify why you father was so furious this morn that he felt it necessary to give you all of those marks,� commented Star. �I did mention that it had to do with the subject of Shindler,� replied Kinta. �I think that that is plenty of clarification.� �But you father despised Shindler, why would he have been mad at his leaving?� commented Sarah. �Well, though I do not like deceiving my friends, he visited me last evening.� �You said nothing of that to us earlier,� complained Star. �I have my reasons for what I do,� said Kinta. �Do you wish to reveal those reasons to us?� asked the girls. �I would rather not,� replied Kinta, and the girls left it at that. They rode for an hour because Star�s house was outside of the town by many miles. It was about eleven o�clock when they departed for Kitten�s house, so it was about twelve o�clock or so, time for lunch. �Do you wish to eat lunch with me, it is about meal time?� asked Star to Sarah and Kinta. The girls agree to eat a meal with Star. Kinta especially agreed, for she had not partaken in eating the morning meal with her parents due to her out rage toward her father. �Then let us eat,� pronounced Star. She called upon her servants and told them �Prepare a meal so that my friends and I may eat and no suffer from hunger.� �Yes madam,� replied the servant. Star also lived by herself, for she was past the age of needing the care of someone else as well. Kinta was friends with so many people elder to her because of her experience with Shindler. Her knowing and being in love with Shindler had broadened her horizon of people. She now converse with people and went to places that she would have never gone to, had she not met Shindler. She was her own woman and had her own job in the town assisting the farmers in growing and picking their crops. She got paid twice as much as any normal farmer because she always went to work in very revealing cloths hat the farmer liked. They always did love to see her bend over and pick vegetables in those �cloths�. The meal was very well prepared and all of the girls thanked the servants, even Star. After the meal, Star told the servants to put some tea on the kettle and make it so they may have tea while they converse in the sitting room. The tea was also well prepared with a hint of honey on the side and tealeaves on the side. While they sipped their tea and talked, Shindler was never spoken of. By the time they had finished talking, the girls had gone through five kettles of tea, and many of conversations. B y that time it was already one o�clock and Sarah needed to be home at two. So, as Star announced that she should be getting to work anyway, the girls departed. Star said that Kinta could keep the horses at her house until tomorrow, when she would then come and pick them up. So the girls took their leave toward Sarah house, which was a couple of miles down the rode from Star�s house. �What ever are you going to do about this Shindler ordeal?� asked Sarah as they were riding to her house. �There is nothing that I can do, for there is no ordeal to do something about,� she replied. �You deceive. You are upset at the fact that he left and you fear that he may never return to take you in his arms again.� �I know that he will one day return,� Kinta said. �And how do you know such things,� said Sarah. �For he told me as much,� she replied. �And I do believe him. �As do I,� she said. �And I am sure that if Star and Kitten were present, they would agree that he is very trustworthy and worth believing. I have always known Shindler to keep his word and never say something if he did not intent to follow through with it.� �I do hope that you are correct, for I am fearful that, if he does return to me, he will not return empty handed,� cried Kinta. �I am almost positive that if Shindler does return, which he will if he has said that he will, he will do so to come back because of you,� she replied. �Again I say, I hope that you are correct.� �You do not have to hope my dear, for if he loves you, he will return� �I do know that he loves me,� said Kinta. �Well then, just remember that and it will remind you of his foreseen return and that will help you to cope with his absence.� �Thank you for your guidance,� Kita told her. �I love you and all of my friends almost as much as I love and cherish Shindler himself.� �Anytime my dear,� she replied. �whenever you need assistance in any matter, you can always call upon myself, of Star, or Kitten. We shall always be there for you dear.� And as Sarah said this, they arrived at the gate of her dwelling. Sarah hugged Kinta and Kinta hugged her back. Then Kinta asked �It still strikes me as strange that Shindler would decide to go on the count of me wanting to be wed to him.� �Shindler always did enjoy the subject of marriage,� said Sarah. �That is a little odd.� Kinta was not talking of the fact that he left because of the subject, but more concerned with how Shindler found out about her true feelings on the subject. She made it a point never to reveal that she was anticipating marriage, and wanted it so soon. But she was sure that Shindler had his reasons. �Well,� said Sarah �You must be going, I suppose� �Yes,� Kinta said �But I have a question that has picked at me for a while today and I have never had the chance to present it.� �Do proceed,� said Sarah. �Where ever did you find Dominique and who was she. She looked a bit young for yours and Star�s taste. How ever did you come across her?� �We met her through another comrade of Shindler�s. You are not young person that he congregates with you know.� �But how, exactly, did he come across her?� she questioned again. �When Shindler first met you, he also came into contact with other persons about your age. I am sure that they were somewhat of acquaintances of yours. He met them through you.� �So how does that led him to Dominique?� �Dominique is a comrade of someone that Shindler must have come into knowing by meeting you. To my knowledge, they have been friends as long as you and him have been lovers. Why, what is the bother?� �Nothing of importance, I was just wondering,� said Kinta. �Very well then, good-bye dear, and have a present journey home,� Sarah cried as Kinta pulled the horses from the front of the gate and galloped way with them. It had never occurred to Kinta but Shindler could have found out about her hopes of marriage from the many conversations that she had with other girls from her schooling unit, if the story behind Dominique is accurate. --------------------------------- When Kinta arrived at her house, her father greeted her with a lashing. It turns out he had decided to start caring out his daughter this morning by becoming worried and angry over where she went that day. After the beating, Kinta retreated to her room and cry for the loss of Shindler and the fact that he could not be there for her now like he was all those times before. �Why has he left me?� she would ask her self. She still did not understand his reasoning for why he left her. By this time she was starting to feel abandoned. ----------------------------------- She was lying in her room, by herself. She was on her bed, weeping for the loss of Shindler when she noticed something on the ceiling. It was a very small red dot that seemed to be a source of light. As she stared at the light, she saw that it was getting larger. It started to get larger and larger. And the spot then began to generate heat. Kinta�s face began to grow hotter and hotter. The she realized that, though the dot was getting larger, it was also getting closer to her face and it started to resemble a face that she knew. As the dot grew still, she then identified the face that she knew so well, but only from imagination. The face was of The Morning Star himself. His face met hers and then, as he released his ever so long tongue from his mouth, he slipped it into her mouth and kissed her in a very odd manner, yet she did not resist. Then His body appeared and he lay down on top of her. He began to kiss her neck and chest, for she wasn�t wearing anything but a very thin covering sheet. He continued to caress her body with his tongue, and she enjoyed it. And as He began to press his body more heavily upon hers, she fell into a blank state where she was aware of what was taking place but could do nothing to prevent it, and she did not wish to even if she could. He continued to kiss her neck, then, as his tongue reentered His mouth, his pulled back His lip and He bit her. She screamed in pleasure and pain and then she blacked-out. Everything went black and she fainted. Kinta woke up screaming, for the images the she had had of The Morning Star had only been a dream, but now she had the question in her mind of why she had dreamt of he and The Morning Star have the intimacy that her and Shindler had never got a chance to have. By the time she was done pondering these events, it was already morning and she was suppose to toke Star�s horses back this morning. She was wondering if Star had gone to work of not yet, but she figure the only way to find out was to go to her house. So before he father had a chance top come up to her room and find something to blame on her, she left the house and made her way to Star�s house. She got both horses and untied them for where they were tied in the barn. She released them from their temporary hold and linked a rope around their neck and pulled them into out of the barn, passed the gate, and into the rode. As she walked, since she had decided to do so because it would be too difficult to try to ride one horse while carrying the others lead rope, she was still thinking about why she had had such a dream and what it meant. The thoughts never did make sense to her then, but she was sure that it had some relevance to what was going on in her life with Shindler. When she arrived at Star�s house, she was out in the yard watering her plants. �Hello my dear friend,� said Star as she greeted Kinta. �Good morning my comrade,� Kinta replied. �Did you rest well?� �Quite,� said Star. �I do hope that work was not all too difficult for you yesterday," said Kinta. "As I said before my friend, never anything that I can not handle. My job never did bring me bounties that I could not contain." "That is always good to hear of," replied Kinta. "So how is your life with a mate coming along?" "My search has gone uncompleted. It seems to be very difficult to find a mate in my line of work, for that is the reason for which I chose such a profession. That and it seems to be the only thing that i am skilled in." "That is not very accurate. You can always learn new skills. I think that you enjoy it more than you let on my friend." "That maybe true," replied Star "But I would change my thoughts if I had other skills at my disposal." "I believe that you are misleading me my friend, for you can always gain new skills." "That is not always true," she replied. "For a person of my status and reputation, getting access to such training is virtually impossible." "Your reputation you say? You brought on you own reputation and I believe that you should have to 'suffer' through what you have brought yourself." "That is ever so cruel for you to say, if I am, as you say, such a good comrade. But I guess in your eyes that can be seen as my just desert, no?" "I don't mean to be so harsh," Kinta replied. "But it seems clear to me that if you really wanted to dispose of your current job, and with your access to the people would, there would be little to stand in your way." "That may be true, but I lack the will to achieve such things. My life seems to border itself at the range of my present occupation." "I think that anything else you could do would be better for you than this could ever produce, but it not my choice. I just wish you make the one that would be most productive for you." "And I will," said Star. "For the decision is my own to make, and I believe that I shall continue with my current line of work." "So be it, but I have to got into town now, so I must now take my leave. Fair well my comrade, and best wishes to you on your occupation." "And a well being on you and your house hold." "Why do you offer such wishes," Kinta questioned. "I have seen the way your father has been responding toward the subject of Shindler." As Star said that name, a chill ran down the spine of Kinta, and Star noticed her fear and questioned it. "Why does that name bring you such distress? I thought you might appreciate discussion of Shindler, as for you not to forget him. "I have a confession to make," Kinta admitted. "Confessions are not meant for my ears, but for the ears of the priests." "So then that is who I will confront with this matter." "Off you go then," said Star "And the best of luck on your confessions." "Star," Kinta said, "Why did you cast your well being on my house hold?" "Your father was obvious out raged by you coming in last night, back form your daily trip. Your bruises are fresh, no?" Kinta said, �They are, yes, but I am sure that my father had good reason for placing them on my body.� �Do you really believe that,� Star questioned. �Or are you just speaking it as to cover for your father.� �One would not want to lose respect for one�s elders.� �Good-bye then, and be on your way. You not wish to be late for confession?� �But of course not.� �Then go, and have a safe travel.� As Kinta walked away, she noticed that Star seemed somewhat disgruntled with her father. Kinta gave this though no never mind, for it was obviously true, but for good reason. --------------------------------------------------------- As Kinta entered the church, she noticed that there was no one else that was receiving confession today. The church was hollow and she felt her heart to be the same. The father came from the back of the cathedral and confronted her. "Did you wish to partake in confession this afternoon?" asked the father. "Yes father, for many things plague my heart at this time in my life." "Then do not have haste my child. Enter and relieve yourself of these burden, whatever they may be." Kinta entered the confession booth and took her seat on the bench that was on the side wall of the booth. She could hear the father entering the booth, and the sound of the door shutting startled, and she did not know why. as the father began to talk, all she could do was listen, and be content with what she hear. "I am, as you can presume, aware of the situation that you face with Shindler and the quarrels that it brings to your household." Kinta said, "Oh." "You sound surprised that I have this information. Do you think that all of the gentry is aware of the happenings in your house?" "No." she replied. "And who do believe they go to with all of the problems that make their hearts rotten?" "You, I would say." "Of course. And, even though I am forbidden to speak of anyone's questioning problems particularly, I am able to use such information to assist me in the solving of further problems." This startled Kinta, for she was about to question the father about the use of his information pertaining to other people. It was as though her were able to hear her doubts. "So, what seems to be troubling you my child?" "It is my heart father. I am unable to chose whether I want him in my life, or want him to stay gone forever." She said this in the way of assuming the father knew she was referring to Shindler. "I also have a confession to make father. I have dreamt a dream that has reference to The Morning Star. I...I...I have...made love to him!" "That is very...disturbing my child." "I also felt that I enjoyed the happening.� �Well, although that is disturbing in voice, this is very natural for a women in your position,� replied the father. �Uh?� �The things that are occurring in your life right now can lead to such thoughts as those, as odd as they may appear.� �But this dream has pertained to The Morning Star. Does that not mean something blaspheme?� �For sure not, my child, for you have not forsaken your God. You still except him as your savior, do you not?� �I do father,� said Kinta. �But I fear that this vision has meant something other than the obvious. I have fear that this dream represents the insubordination in my subconscious.� �I doubt that this should be correlated in that manner. I believe that you are just having doubts toward the relationship that you have had with Shindler.� �So this does not have to mean something blaspheme?� "Of course not my child. Even though I have never heard of such things before in my life, that does not mean that such things do not occur. Your mind is only being put through a lot of pain and this is your minds way to react to such pain." "Thank you father." Kinta left the church that day happy and content with her dream and her life. Even though Shindler was not present in her, she knew, hoped, that he would return one day. As she returned home that day, her father wasn't there and her mother was gardening in the back of the house. �Hello mother,� Kinta yelled. Her mother didn�t reply. Kinta felt the tension between her mother and her father building. She had already made the assumption that it was her fault. She had just made her way through the back of the house and into the front yard when a messenger approached her. She was not aware of who he was, but he was of an obvious relation to Shindler due to the markings on his arm. "Excuse me madam but have you information on the whereabouts of Shindler?" "Who are you?" "I am Shindler's cousin Lyle," replied the boy. "Do you know where I might find him?" "No," Kinta replied. "Shindler has been from contact of anyone whom I know for past days of two. Why such the interest." "It is really a matter I would rather discuss with Shindler himself." "I am his lover and I am sure that Shindler would want to have me know, for I am of close relation to him and his household." "You are the lover?" "Yes, I would hope." "Madam Kinta?" "That is the name my father granted me," Kinta replied. "I am sorry, for I did not know that it was you madam." "That is fine, but I must know, what is the commotion?" "Madam, have you not heard?" Would I be asking you if I had knowledge of the matter," Kinta said, almost screaming at the boy. "Now out with it!" "I apologize madam, but this is a hard subject to discuss, pertaining to my cousin of course." "Shindler?' "No madam, his brother." "What of his brother." "He is dead madam." |