| Insomnia is just a technical term for fear. A misnomer for subconscious escapism. It's not that you can't sleep, it's that you really don't want to. And why should you? So tomorrow can come that much quicker? Thanks but no thanks. As much havoc as it wreaks on you physically, staying up until the wee hours of the morning is peaceful, in a morbid way. When it's 4 in the morning, and you're there staring at your TV or computer, who's there to bug you? Who's there to hassle you? There's not a soul around who wants anything from you. And you look around the corners of your mind and secretly smile. Because you're not supposed to be enjoying this. Not sleeping is wrong. You should go to sleep and wake up and scream "SEIZE THE DAY!" Well fuck that. This is reality, not some utopian dream, where there is nothing but happy endings. There are bad endings and unhappy endings and just plain unfair endings, and they happen all the time. To people from every race, every part of the globe, and it's written off by the lackadaisical excuse "That's life". Well life sucks. And if I can delay the shitstorm that is my everyday life for a few precious hours, you bet your ass I'm gonna do it. So if you're suffering from the same symptoms as I am- lying awake night after night wondering if you're really alive- take heart. You're just as normal as those idiots who sleep well and will have more than you or I could ever hope for. They just can't see the reality and therefore envelop themselves in this meager, hopeless existence. They believe that a good job, and material acquisitions will make them happy. I'm glad I'm on this side of the window, aren't you? |
