Anna Begins
From "August and Everything After"

My friend assures me
It's all or nothing
But I am not worried
I am not overly concerned
My friend implores me
For one time only
Make an exception
I am not worried

Wrap her up in a package of lies
Send her off to a coconut island
I am not worried
I am not overly concerned
With the status of my emotions
"Oh," she says, "you're changing."
But we're always changing

It does not bother me to say
This isn't love
'Cause if you don't want to talk about it
Then it isn't love
And I guess I'm gonna have to live with that
But I'm sure
There's something in a shade of gray
Something in between
And I can always change my name
If that's what you mean

But my friend assures me
It's all or nothing
But I am not really worried
I am not overly concerned
You try to tell yourself
The things you try to tell yourself
To make yourself forget
I am not worried
"'Cause if it's love," she says
"Then we're gonna have to think about
The consequences"
'Cause she can't stop shaking
and I can't stop touching her and...

This time
When kindness falls like rain
It washes her away
And Anna begins to change her mind
"These seconds when I'm shaking
leave me shuddering for days," she says
And I'm not ready for this sort of thing.

But I'm not gonna break
And I'm not gonna worry about it anymore
I'm not gonna bend and I'm
Not gonna break and
I'm not gonna worry about it anymore.

It seems like I should say:
"As long as this is love"
But it's not all that easy
So maybe I should
Snap her up in butterfly net
And pin her down on a photograph album
I am not worried
'Cause I've done this sort of thing before.
But then I start to think about
The consequences
And I don't get no sleep in a quiet room

And this time when kindess falls like rain
It washes me away
And Anna begins to change my mind
And everytime she sneezes I believe it's love
And oh Lord, I'm not ready
For this sort of thing

She's talkin' in her sleep-
It's keeping me awake
And Anna begins to toss and turn
And every word is nonsense but I understand
And oh lord, I'm not ready for this sort of thing
Her kindness bangs a gong
It's moving me along
And Anna begins to fade away
It's chasing me away
She just disappears
And oh lord, I'm not ready for this sort of thing.
    AD says this song is about a girl he met on a backpacking excursion through Europe when he was still struggling.  He met Anna, who was from Australia and fell in love rather quickly.  And you know you're falling in love and you know it's not going to work but at the same time you can't help how you feel.  So you try to limit your feelings, but what's the use?  AD says the two people in the song are convinced they're "not ready for this sort of thing" so they walk away and find out in the end that what they're really not ready for is being apart and alone.
      How many times have I tried to hold back, but I always end up falling and ruining everything.  Instead of just accepting and enjoying the relationship for what it's worth, I always want it to be more.
     And then there's the times when the girl wanted it more than me and I bolted because I wasn't ready to put myself on the line.  This song speaks volumes to me.  For no other reason than I always let my mind fuck things up.  And it really is a handicap.  I don't want to be lonely anymore.  And that fear of being alone the rest of my life makes me want to always throw every relationship into high gear.  And then when I'm not sure it's right, I just screw everything up.  That's why I love this song, and this band.
Home Counting Crows
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