| Angels of the Silences From "Recovering The Satellites" Well I guess you left me With some feathers in my hand Did it make it any easier To just leave me where I stand? I guess there might not be too many Who would stand beside you now Where'd you come from? Where am I going? Why'd you leave me til I'm only good for Waiting for you All my sins I said that I would pay for them If I could Come back to you All my innocence is wasted on The dead and dreamin' Every night these silhouettes Appear above my bed Just little angels of the silences That climb into my bed And whisper every time I fall asleep Every time I dream Did you come? Would you lie? Why'd you leave us til we're only good for Waiting for you All my sins I said that I would pay for them If I could Come back to you All my innocence is just wasted on The dead and dreamin' I dream of Michelangelo When I'm lying in my bed Little angels hang above my head And greet me like an open book Suck my blood, break my nerve, Offer me their arms, Well I will not be an enemy of anything I'll only stand here waiting For you All my sins I said that I would pay for them If I could come back to you All my innocence is wasted on The dead and dreaming |
| This song is one of the more furious songs CC has ever recorded. AD says it's about not just finding things to have faith and believe in, but wanting to be able to believe in anything. To quote: "Faith is about the wait, because once you get something, there's no need anymore." To me it's about recovery. It's about having so much faith and believing in something so much that when things don't pan out it's devastating. And what's more, you hold yourself responsible. As if being forgiven for everything you've done wrong will heal all wounds and make everything wonderful again. I felt this over this past summer. I believed for so long that I had pushed away the one I was meant to be with. I convinced myself that the reason none of my relationships since had worked out was because I was meant for her. I propped the existence of my personal life up on this one pole, only to have it come crashing down this past summer. She and I started talking again, as friends, and of course my enamored mind jumped ahead about 10 steps and completely pushed her away. We've hardly talked since, and I didn't like the way it made me feel like some sort of freak. But needless to say, it is over. And obviously we weren't meant to be. So what does that say about my life when I put so much into that belief? I have questioned everything since. I've questioned everything in the last 10 years of my life, from my very first serious girlfriend, to the latest of my failed relationships. And I have no answers. Only disappointments and more regret than ever. And every time I hear the line "Why'd you leave me til I'm only good for waiting for you?" I die a little bit. Because I was so mad this summer when she ignored me out in public when I was 30 feet away, but now I can't hold it against her no matter how hard I try. And that feeling of helplessness makes me hate me. I talk about how nice a guy I am, but I'm just as guilty as anyone else. "All my innocence is wasted...". I've been just as cruel as she or anyone else has been to me. But it was always different because I could chalk my behavior up to the fact it wasn't meant to be because I was meant to be with her. I'm not good for anything but waiting for her. And I know it's over. And the place that puts me is a very dark, dank, and quiet hole. A place where all there is the voices in my head, these "Angels of the silences", that tell me to do or not to do whatever. |