| Growing up was very
difficult for me. I was not a popular person, and had a lot of
depression issues. When I left home, it was at age 19 and I went
to college at UCLA. I had a lot of issues with my family.
When I was in my first year of college I met a person who later became
my fiancé. He was a Christian person but I didn't know it because
he wasn't very religious. He told me about Jesus' love for me
though and I was so glad Jesus loved me. I still wasn't a
Christian though. Later that same year I met some Christians who
belonged to the college group the Navigators. This group likes to
do campus bible studies and memorizes Scripture. I met a couple
that was very much into Christianity and they discipled me. This
meant they helped me to study the Bible and prayed with me.
Eventually I gave my life to Jesus because of this couple telling me
about Him. I never married the man who first told me about Jesus
though.
This was only the beginning. I went to one church for awhile
and then I met a very odd lady who told me about being baptized by the
Holy Spirit and speaking in tongues. Even though I thought it was
weird, I did speak in tongues and it seemed to help me. My
depression wasn't as strong as it used to be sometimes. Sometimes
it still was though.
I went to another church, where I met my husband. He was the
drummer for the church band. At first, I didn't think I liked
him. He was nice but I couldn't understand him. Then, for a
few months, people kept telling me, you and John (that is his name)
would make a cute couple. I listened, as this was the first
encouragement I had ever gotten in this area and pretty soon we were
friends. When he asked me to marry him, I was overjoyed.
We left that church because there were a lot of problems. The
church was not very supportive, and the management was very
authoritarian. That meant they felt they had a right to get into
your business all the time. Also they were very cruel at times and
hurt a lot of people.
The next church we went to was the one we got married at. The
pastor and his wife let us get married in their backyard. That
church was a nice one for a long time but then the pastor also got
authoritarian, and tried to force me to get along with someone who had
been somewhat of an enemy to me. It didn't work and I ended up
getting kicked out of the church along with my husband. That was a
real low point in my church life, obviously. They let us come back
but it was just never the same. After awhile, I decided to go to another
church that was Lutheran in origin.
This new church was much different that the others. They are
very strong in forgiveness, and that includes between the leaders and
the congregation too. This was different than the other churches I
had gone to. Also there was a real accountability with the
leadership to church authorities. There are rules about how the
leaders treat the congregation. I find that this makes my
experience with church now much safer. I do miss the intensity of
some of the other churches but I don't miss the pain of being rejected
constantly.
Anyhow I still struggle with depression but I know Jesus loves me and
that helps a lot. Much more has happened in my life but that is
the part I thought I would share with you. I hope it helps someone
to know what it can be like to be a Christian. |