Is This funny?


I cry, you laugh,
I'm hurt, you laugh,
I'm devastated, you laugh,
I'm destroyed, you laugh.

I pick myself up, you laugh,
I begin to fall, you laugh,
I'm down, you laugh,
My life is over, you laugh.

I'm hearing voices, you laugh,
I'm not sleeping, you laugh,
I'm not eating, you laugh,
I'm mentally ill, you laugh.

I'm nervous, you laugh,
I'm paranoid, you laugh,
I'm insecure, you laugh,
I'm suicidal, you laugh.

There must be a good joke in there somewhere,
Why won't you let me in on it?
Why won't you stop laughing at my pathetic existence?

I walk down the road, you laugh,
I watch TV, you laugh,
I wear clothes, you laugh,
I am, you laugh.

Stalked

Everywhere I go,
Every step I take,
Everything I do,
Every move I make,
You listen to me when I eat,
You listen to me when I sleep,
When I wake up in the morning,
When I hide under my sheet.



Anger

You took everything I had,
You turned it all to dust,
You seem to be quite pleased,
Whilst I grieve for my loss,
Do you think I have a right to be angry?
After everything you've done,
And everything you've denied,
You still think you were in the right?
That you were justified?



Self-Confidence

What?!?!
Did I ever have any?
Has it all just run dry?
I think I must have sprung a leak,
And it dripped out when I cried,
I don't remember having any,
I just carried on,
So anyway,
What's it like?
To feel confident?
To feel strong?

Recursive Thoughts

What can I do?
What can I say?
How can I do this?
How can I say this?
You can't be so evil,
You must not know what you've done,
Would you be sorry anyway?
My life is over,
You took my past,
That destroyed my present,
And now my future is gone,
How bad is it?
How many people know?
What did you do?
How did you do it?
When will it stop?
Why are you laughing?
You can't be that evil,
You wanted to hurt me,
You decided to hurt me,
You killed me instead,
How can I carry on?
You think you know,
My head is shattered,
I want to tell you,
Why won't you listen?
Why didn't you listen?
Couldn't you tell?
How am I supposed to continue?
How can you hurt my family so badly?
You don't understand,
You think it's a joke,
It's not funny,
It was never funny,
How could I have stopped this?
Why did it happen?
Am I evil?
Am I worthless?
Am I insignificant?
Did I deserve it?
How bad is it?
Why won't you tell me?
Was it fate?
Can I make it better?
Will it ever be better?
Who?
How many?
When?
What did they say?
Did they all believe you?
Did they all laugh?
What happens now?
Are you watching now?
Will I ever heal?
Please talk to me,
Is it all true?
Did they laugh?
They're not laughing now,
Are you still laughing?
Help!
Help!
I need somebody,
Something to take the pain away,
All I can do is write,
Do you even know I exist?
You don't care do you?
Why won't you let me explain?
I want to tell you how I feel,
Surely you'll feel better as well?

That's if you care!


WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED???

Strange

Now I don't expect that anxiety to be gone, far from it. But I believe its quality
has changed, since living through it in the dream. You are aware, now, that it has
no basis in reality. The anxiety still exists, but with this difference: you know
now that it is irrational - that it conforms to an inward desire, rather than an
outward reality. Now that's a beginning. A good beginning.

All work on this page Copyright Sean 2004