Schizophrenia/psychosis, to me, has been a lot of things. At first it was like a bomb dropped on me. My whole life was shattered and rearranged by the things going through my head. People were worried about me, and I was frustrated by everything that was going on.

Then it was a time of meeting people. Hospital staff and patients, people unfamiliar to me. Then, online, I met a lot of other Schizophrenic people. They are some of the nicest people I have ever met. I still talk to them all the time. I learned a lot about what it is like for other people going through it.

Now, it is a time of heartache and frustration for me. Learning about all the things I have lost. For example there is a lot of stigma about Schizophrenia. It isn't something you just bring up at your neighborhood party and talk about. Not that I go to a lot of parties. That is another thing I have lost. I have a very hard time making friends now, I have lost some of my confidence. I think I will eventually get it back but for now it is really a hard thing to meet people and talk about myself. I have a lot of depression about it. I think it is almost like having someone close to you die, you go through all the phases of grief. Sorrow, anger, bargaining, and more, before you can just accept it. Now I have a lot more compassion for others with a disability and especially Schizophrenia or psychosis. I don't just ignore it anymore when I hear about it. I try to get as much information as I can about it. I read the news about it, and ask people's opinions if I can.

It has become a major focus in my life although I can now see other things as well. But I know I will always be interested in what happens to Schizophrenic people and I want to be an advocate for them. I hope somehow this web page and the links I have posted here will influence someone to have more compassion and think about how they treat people with a disability.

Best wishes, Rachael