the hardest thing in life is to lose a child ,well i know because my children are no longer in my life.i was a single parent trying to raise 3 children on my own.well life for me was very hard and growing up was even harder for me.when i was pregnant with my third child the state took my children from me,because of alugations of other people.well i won my case,but still wasn't aloud to have my children.their father,well that is a sorry subject to discuss.well they gave me a chance to get them back,well i messed up and was having many problems handling my owen life,much less being able to have my children with me.so i gave up,because i knew i couldn't handle them on my own and had no job,nor a stable home.i was living with a friend at the time.everyone is probably saying how can a mother give up on her children?well if u were in my shoes u would now why i had to let them go.i love my children with all my heart and writing this page is the hardest for me,letting other people know that i am a mother who gave up.my son is 6yrs.old today and has to be on medication,because he is very hyper and i blame myself,because when i was pregnant with him i drank alot to kill the pain of eveything that hurt in my life.nobody can judge me because my children have eveything they need,where with me there was danger of getting hurt.their father was very abusive to me and i drank alot to kill the pain he was causing me and my children.i know drinking wasns't the answer,but i was scared to let him go and i wanted to keep my family together.my children deserved better then what i could give them.it still hurts knowing someone else is raising my children and they have all new names,but what is nice is the foster mom sends me pictures of my children and she is letting me know how they are.what more can a mother ask for.i thought i would never know how they are growing up or ever know what they look like,but the foster mom is giving me that.
watching them grow up in pictures is very hard,but at least i know they are all safe and still ask for me.they all know i am their mother and that the foster parents are taking care of them for me.please don't judge me,because u don't know what i went through.please see that my children needed a good home and i will never stop loving them.they are my life but i only have pictures to keep me happy.someday when they understand i will get to see them and let them know i never stopped loving them and they can see the web page i made for them. |
