SINGLE AND CONTENTED
I
don’t understand why, for most people, being married seem to be a requirement
for happiness and fulfillment. If you’re in your mid-twenties and single, I’m pretty
sure you’ve been asked a lot of times (or even teased) when you’re going to
get hitched. See if you can relate to the following situations:
Situation
1 (Family Reunion)
Cousin:
You’re still single?
Me
: Yes, very much.
Cousin
: How old are you?
Me
: 20 ++
Cousin
: Gee, when do you plan to get married?
Me
: (Looking at my watch) Hmmm…maybe tomorrow. It’s late in the
afternoon already.
Situation
2 (Seeing a long lost friend)
Friend
: Hey, you didn’t change a bit!
Me
: Thanks
Friend
: You married? I don’t see a wedding ring.
Me
: Oh, hubby’s at home doing the laundry and taking care of our 10 kids. The
wedding ring? Well, I got broke so I pawned it…got a handsome amount for it.
Friend
: (Gasps)
Situation
3 (Workplace)
Teacher
1: Oh, hey. We’re just talking about you and ______ (another teacher).
Me
: (Just got in
the room, tired, still catching my breath) Oh, really? What about?
Teacher
1: Well, we were just talking that you two are in your late twenties.
Teacher
2: Yeah you should go marry.
Me
: (Chuckling)
Oh, shut up!
Teacher
2 : See? You’re never gonna find a boyfriend. You’re such a snob!
Me
: Duh!
What do you know? You want me to shut you up?
Well,
are these situations familiar to you? If you’ve experienced any one of these
then pull a chair, take a seat, and join me.
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You see, it's ok for me to be asked questions like that. It doesn't offend me. I believe such questions are a permanent appendage to a single person's everyday life. But the annoying thing here is to be asked the same questions over and over again, by the same people (at least most of the time). Ask me once and I'll just laugh it off. Ask me the second time and I'll answer you straight. Third time you'll see my mouth twitch and with warning signs flashing in my eyes so be aware. But, oh, you can ask me the for the fourth time, honestly, if you fancy a mean slap across the face.
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Ok,
so you want to know what I feel about this? I’m single and I’m happy. When
most women (even men) my age are running around, panicking and praying real hard
just to find their own “significant other” you will find me living a
peaceful life. I don’t even get down on my knees and pray for God to give me a
partner. Well, ok I do. But my prayer goes something like, “Dear Lord, if You
have someone for me then thank You. I’m sure he’s out there and he’ll find
me in time…in Your time. But if You don’t, then thank You as well.”
Frankly speaking, I really don’t mind being alone. I’ve always believed that
I’m an independent person and I can handle things alone.
But
before you raise an eyebrow on me, let me explain what I mean. You see, I have a
lot of responsibilities in my hands. I’m a teacher and I’m enjoying my work
no matter how unbearable some of my colleagues are. And it sure eats up a lot of
my time. I have 2 young nephews to
support and they pretty much give me fulfillment. Those are my two main reasons
and some others that I would rather not tell. And besides, I'd rather not drag anybody else to my pathetic existence. You see, I’m even too busy to
have a social life, let alone go out and spend time with a boyfriend. I believe
that will only bring more complications to my already complex life.
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But
then, it sure feels good to have a special someone in your life, doesn’t it?
It feels wonderful to have someone hold your hand and look into your eyes.
Someone to smell your hair and tell you sweet things. Someone with whom you
share your deepest secrets, your problems, your joys and pains. Someone whose
shoulder is always ready for you to cry on. Things like that…icky love stuff,
as I would like to call it. But there can be disadvantages too. You can’t go
somewhere without asking your partner’s permission. If you’re single you can
go wherever you want and do whatever you do. If you have a jealous partner
then…tsk, tsk, tsk…happy days are over. Worse yet, if you’ve been together
for a long time, chances are, he no longer does what he usually did when the
relationship was still blooming. Less
calls, fewer flowers, less everything.
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One time I told my friend how bored I was and he told me, "get married!" Though I believed he meant for it to be a joke, I was so astonished. I was thinking if marriage is an ultimate cure for boredom. A cousin of mine had her marriage annulled after a few years. I have a friend whose marriage ended after 11 years cos the husband said "love never developed." I believe a little love can bloom so I thought maybe there was no love between them at all to start with. Marriage can be scary. When I think about it I wonder what if the same thing happens to me? I'd rather be alone than live with someone for many years then later hear him say "love never developed!"
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A
friend of mine asked me a very good question: “Don’t you feel lonely?
Don’t you feel the need to have someone in your life?” On impulse, I
would’ve answered her a firm “NO!” But
then I answered “No…not yet.” I believe that some people just pretend to
be happy being single, but deep inside they desire to belong to someone. So far
I haven’t felt that. And I’m no hypocrite. I know that someday, somehow, I
will feel it. But for now, I’m enjoying my life.
Come
to think of it...could
it be I’m just saying this cos I’ve never really been in love? Maybe if I do I'll
change my point of view. Well then, I guess I’m gonna have to wait and see,
huh?