BY

Illustrations by

dedication

page 1

Many of us believe that Computers never make mistakes. They think that "glitches" and problems only happen because of careless people.

Like me, you probably never heard about COREY. He was absolutely the most Contrary Computer that ever stepped off an assembly line.

It started back at the factory. COREY was one of thousands of Personal Computers being assembled at the mammoth RBM computer plant in northern California in an area known as Silicon Valley. Every new computer is usually thoroughly checked to insure that all its CHIPS and BUTTONS and WIRES are all put together correctly, but COREY was built on the day when an Earthquake shook most of California's north country.

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The shock somehow rearranged his CHIPS, and he was packed in a box with tested good computers in error.

It was just my luck that he wound up in my school at the same time our teacher Miss Naomi Pegginbottom was to teach us all about Computer Science and its possibilities.

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As many of us have observed, human beings tend to get lazy very quickly if they can find a machine to do their work for them.

For instance haven't we all seen people using Calculators to add up simple numbers like 3+4 or 5+10 ? Well, can you imagine what would happen if those people now had a Computer to do everything they wanted? They might get lazy in a hurry. What if the Computer was not quite right?

What if the Computer was

That is just what happened to us.

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I'm typing this story using one of COREY's Word Processing Programs so you must blame any errors in grammar or spelling on him. If you find any misteakes PLeaSe correct them with your pincil.

The fun began the day Miss Pegginbottom started to use COREY to keep the Classes' Grades.

I must say that my normal C Average did improve to an A, but I was most surprised when Charlie Shortwit, our Classes' only hopeless case, began to PASS every exam given. Teacher was using COREY to grade the papers as well as keep score.

"They say computers never lie", mumbled Miss Pegginbottom as she looked in disbelief at the Totals and Averages that COREY was spilling out from his clicking Printer attachment.

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"Who am I to argue with a Computer", she said as she noted the final grade averages. It definitely was a Topsy Turvey day. If you were a good student used to receiving high marks, you had a shock coming! Some of the A students in the class had received "Z"s. Others got "P"s and "Q"s.

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Grades of his life -- in fact: the highest in the School's history.

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Needless to say, our Teacher never did find the answers in the Manual; and the mystery might never have been solved if the Payroll Department hadn't also used COREY to process the School's paychecks.

When COREY THE CONTRARY COMPUTER subtracted fifty cents too much from Principal Sternfuss's pay, and gave the School's Janitor a one-hundred dollar raise -- It went too far.

The Principal demanded that the Payroll Programs be rerun using a different Computer.

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The secret was finally out. Computers could make mistakes -- just like people. That is if their CHIPS and BITS are misarranged. Again, just like people!

After this episode with COREY, all of the people in my class as well as many of the Teachers we know now use their BRAINS to add, subtract, and multiply the smaller numbers since they know that it is much too easy to completely find yourself using a Computer's brain and NOT your own for everything in your life.

page 9

Of course there is much more to tell about COREY THE CONTRARY COMPUTER; but I'll save that for another time.

Just a hint for now will have to do.

COREY was traded in for a newer model. I understand that our local ZOO bought him to help them arrange the feeding schedules for the Animals; and the Vacation schedules for the Zoo's employees.

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COPIES OF THIS STORY ARE AVAILABLE: FOR DETAILS PLEASE WRITE:

COREY MORRISON

The Author is a retired Systems Manager & Data Base Designer with his Computer experience starting in the late sixties and extending now into the present ninties. He is an Adjunct Instructor at a local Junior College and a Volunteer at the Tarpon Springs High School Computer Laboratory that he helped establish. A well published author of Systems & Office Magazine Articles, he also was a Speaker at several Conferences.

The Illustrator Vincent Martin was a great and patient Artist in whatever medium he would choose. He is now deceased.                                      His fun renditions live on.