Fardouly's Kebabs

By Robert James DeBurgh (Poet)

I had but an hour ago left her lying asleep,
Her brown body heavy with spent pleasure.
Her breasts, worth more than Sophy's treasure,
Hath stirred my heart and made me weep.

Oh why. oh why, oh Fatimah, did I desert sweet Anne?
Oh why, oh why, sweet Fatimah, it's because I am a man!

In cold, grey, misty Lancashire, in Blackburn, full of holes,
Where beetles eat the icy waste,
For warmth I wed Anne Hughes in haste,
Now she's At Home and I am here, as far apart as poles.

In Fatimah is slew my Lust, sated my appetites.
Now as she sleeps, the night grows cold,
Fardouly's fire glows like molten gold,
Cooking lamb kebabs, in lemon juice. I'll eat one in two bites!

Oh why, oh why, oh Fatimah have I such lust? Oh Damn!
Oh why sweet Fatimah, oh why have you such gorgeous hams?

And goat, and beef, and chicken too, the scent comes to me now.
Fardouly turns the skewered meat.
It roasts upon the glowing heat,
Like my soul on fire for Fatimah, that great big dozing cow.

The air is filled with smells of food, with noises of the dark,
The nightjar trills its urgent call,
Fardouly sprinkles on the salt,
I eat, and feel myself again, (I really must stop this lark).

Oh why is it, oh Fatimah, oh Mistress of the Heart,
When e'er I eat Fardouly's kebabs, I have an urge to fart!?

And now the Dawn is breaking, the camel train's afoot.
The Master of the.....................................

NOTE:
As the reader can see, this exotic poem breaks off in mid verse. Considering the odium that goes with 'breaking nether wind' in public in most Arabic countries of the late 19th century, it is probable that that is what occurred and that DeBurgh was arrested for causing a public offence, after eating Fardouly's Kebabs.
T. Smegwich once stated that there was a very Profound lesson to be learned from this, but declined to elaborate further.

NOTES ON PROVENANCE:
Very little is known of the origins of this Work, unfinished as it is. However, there are two items that make this piece significant. Firstly; It is probably the very first of the Master's Works to be discovered. It came to light in 1897, in Morocco, apparently found by a (very) junior aide to the French Ambassador of the time, lining the bottom of the cage of a pair of songbirds purchased for the Ambassador's wife. Given that the "life expectancy" of a sheet of paper under those circumstances would be relatively short, we can deduce that DeBurgh was in Morocco in 1897 and wrote this piece not more than a month before it was found!!! But, sadly, there is no proof.
Unfortunately the Work remained in the possession of the Ambassador's family and heirs for many years, and has only recently come to the attention of The Society.
Secondly; This Work contains not only the Maiden Name of his mysterious wife but also the Town and County in which they were wed! A thorough search of the relevant Parish Churches and Registry Offices is being undertaken at this very moment! However, given that this Work 'post dates' several others in which The Master refers to his wife (in less than complimentary terms), some members of The Society fear that there may have been two,(or more?) Mrs DeBurghs.....