May 31, 2005 So I finally got to play Danish Longball again!!! It's been like 2 years since I've played this game!!! I was sooo oober excited about it!!! And the kids at youth took to it like fish to water. It's such a good game b/c even if your not athletic you can still be good and have a great time at this game. It was like the first time nobody complained or got bored and left that I've noticed. I'm glad that it went over so well. Being a youth leader this year has been an intresting experience for me. Some days the kids are kinda hard to deal with b/c they just don't want to participate in anything (like all the older kids) it doesn't matter what kind of activity you choose they just don't seem to want to do it. But getting to know the other youth leaders has been very helpful as well. And through it all I have met some really neat kids. And even I've learned some things from Derik this year lol! This summer I'm going on a missioins trip with the group. I'm really looking forward to that! I got so much accomplished today! I finished moving my stuff from April's house. Well except for a few things that we couldn't get to and a few things that I forgot (opps). Then Grant came over and started cutting our meadow, I mean yard. But his lawn mower died so it's still not finished. You see ours is broken and it's being fixed right now so our yard is brutal!! Lol, but it was funny. Then while Grant was mowing, I cleaned my car and I also cleaned his car, it was the least that I could do. Well I only cleaned the insides but they look good. My car really needed a vaccuum, well for that matter so did his lol! Then we ate supper with my folks. Oh the funniest thing happend when Grant and I went to go get wine for mommy. We went to the Wine Rack and she was offering free samples of one of the wine coolers and I took one and the lady was like "Would your.. (and she paused) husband like one?" Oh it was funny, I didn't correct her I just asked Grant if he wanted one and he said no I let it drop lol. So I had a good day today. Laters! Click here to see pictures from our date. May 30, 2005 So tonight I went out to Red Lobster on a double date. Now's the part that gets weird. Orginally Shane and I had decided to try a new food every month we were gonna go way back in January but both of us looking at our finaces decided that wasn't a wise idea and decided to hold off. So I've made mention of that fact to many different people. Grant heard about it, wanted to come and wanted Joanne to come as well. So my boyfriend went on a date with my good friend Joanne, while Shane was my date. It was fun but kinda weird. I ordered the Ultimate platter. It had garlic shrimp, breaded shrimp, like half a crab and a lobster tail. The lobster was okay. The crab was awesome!! But sooo frustrating!! I don't like to work for my food! But it was great fun playing with it!! lol. At one point I was making the claw pince Shane. It was also kinda fun cracking the shells with a nutcracker and using the cute little fork to get the meat out. Then afterwards we tried to find a place to mini-put but everything was closed. So we ended up back at my place, which is totally fine. On Sunday a whole buch of us (like 10!) went to the Folk Art Festival in downtown St. Catharines. It was awesome, so many booths set up with all kinds of neat things. Grant bought me two necklaces, a pair of earrings, a bracelet, an air brush tattoo (it's the coolest red dragon!) and he bought me supper. It was just really neat to wander around the different booths and stalls with your friends looking at really cool things! Those are the kinds of dates that I love. I really want to go to Wonderland this summer!! I didn't go last year. So I'm going to my first pratice this Thursday for worship band. I'm really excited about it!! I go to two pratices and then I get to actually sing with the band. I'm just gonna be observing them the first two times. I'm getting totally excited about joining a worship band! Well I should probably start getting ready for bed so peace out ya'll!! May 26, 2005 So I applied for OSAP last night!! *does little happy dance*. And they estimated that I would get around $4,500. Which would do more then cover school!!! Phew!! I'm getting really excited about school!! I can't wait to buy back to school outifts and supplies!! (don't worry I won't use my credit cards lol) Speaking of which I've almost got daddy paid off!! I've been like working overtime the past 4 weeks. (not much but a few hours each week, and hey it helps) It's just cool that when we were called to test God on money I tried it and I started giving to the church and he has blessed that!! My finiancial situation is totally under control and it's turning positive! This is such an improvement from like years ago. I will be so happy when I'm debt free!! Okay so how am I doing? Good, I am doing good. I have such awesome friends who encourage me and keep me uplifted. I must remember all that I've learned from counselling and church. I think the worst would be to revert to the way I used to be. That's why I'm trying to deal with things as soon as they come up. It's still not easy, I don't know if it ever will be. My natural reaction to somethings is to get upset, cry, or pout. I don't want to be like that anymore. Please tell me if I'm being that way. But please try to say it nicely. I won't promise that I won't get upset but I do promise that I will try!!! I want to be the kind of person that people can come to. But on the flip side people, please don't all do it at once. Somedays I swear I can't do anything right b/c no matter where I go people are correcting me. Lol. Anyways I'm outie!! Cherrio!! May 25, 2005 So apparantly I snore lightly.. :p. I still don't belive it, I have a cold, everybody makes noise when your sick while sleeping. Okay, background, background. I had the long weekend off and I basically spend all of it over at Grant's. Which was awesome. But on Monday night I kinda fell asleep on the couch, like so asleep that Grant called my name and I didn't wake up and he stood there for 15 minutes and watched me sleep. I woke up when the other boys came home and Kira (their dog) barked, I jumped! But I had a great weekend. I hung out with Joanne quite a bit too. She's just kinda popped back into my life. I thought we were at an unspoken understanding but apparantly I was wrong. So anyways, she gets along really well with the Barron's as well. I think there good for her. So what did I do this weekend? Well I watched a lot of movies, played some games, hung out. I also got to watch fireworks from the roof of Grant's house. That was fun. I like roofs. But next time I climb a tv tower I will make sure I am not wearing tight jeans and flip flops. (they make it quite hard to climb!) So last week at work was brutal!! I don't know what it was but for some reason that week seemed sooo long. Well I had my four days off and they did a world of good. I went back to work today and it was good. I mean it was busy so that's always a plus. And one of the major issues we were having was finally resolved. Somebody quit, and if she hadn't quit she would have been fired. So the politics before were brutal, but it's been solved so that's good. Funny story so I finally put my magnetic key holder on my car this weekend. Guess who locked her keys in her car this morning at work! Yup, did it again!! I seriously lock my keys in my car at least once everyother month, at the min! It's so crazy! So I kneeled under my car got the key and unlocked my car and put it back in it's spot! lol! Well Shane called so I got to go pick him up!! Tootles! May 20, 2005 Well I had my cry finally. Lol. It kinda came about really weird. I had been hanging out with Grant and his friends from Welland. I had a good time. And on the ride home (Shane you'll be proud of me for this one) I actually asked Grant to help me understand something he had said earlyer. -We just learned recently in communion about how if you don't understand something you should ask, it's the Peace Makers thing- So I brought it up. We talked about it. I guess recently I've been feeling hard to be around. Now how do I explain that? Sometimes I feel like people get annoyed with me and don't want to be around me and I think somewhere recently somebody (I'm not sure who) kinda inadvertanly brought it to my attention how annoying I was being. I don't know. So when we got back to my place we were talking and then I started crying. And kudos to Grant, he was okay with it. He didn't send me packing or ask me not to cry. (I just know that when Grant reads this he'll be like "of course I wouldn't"..) But sometimes I get scared to cry in front of people b/c some people can't handle it. Plus I mean who wants to see spazy, crying Robin? I don't, I'm not a big fan of hers. I think most people aren't. Anyways I think I'm okay now, I woke up this morning to Cody's call lol! People have been really helpful and supportive to me when I've been feeling down and I can't say how much I appricate it. Kudos also to Charlene for calling me after she read my last blog and talking to me for a while. It helped hunny. And to Shane for triple checking to make sure I was okay. And to Cody for wanting to hang out, even if you aren't aware of how I was feeling to be near people helps. I guess I'm content to know that my friends won't up and abandon me if I get a little upset. I only say that b/c it's happened before. I get very afraid of showing people certain aspects of me b/c I've been really hurt recently and I'm afraid of being hurt again. I think that's what it comes down to, I DON'T want to be hurt like that again. I felt like I was dead inside, and I bacially was. I was getting hurt so bad that I shut everything off. I lost my joy, my peace, who I was. Now that I have it back I'm a bit overprotective of it. Wow, this is pretty deep stuff. On to something else. So Cody calls me at 10:40 this morning and wakes me up, I was having the weirdest dream. I was defending my cousin and beating up a 6 foot male. You know those neck pinch things that really hurt. Well I was doing it to this guy and I made him fall to his knees and then I made him lay on his face on the ground and swear to me that he would never touch him again. (It was Aaron that I was defending) It was Aaron, but it was little Aaron from when he was younger and smaller. It was weird. And then it got me thinking. I don't know what I would do if I ever got into that kind of situation. B/C honestly I've never been in a fight and I've never even seen a real fight in all of St. Catharines. I'm not tuned into that at all. I wonder what I would do. B/C I'm not a fan of fighting but I would never let anybody get hurt if I could prevent it. I think I'm more prone to putting myself in the way so I would get hurt instead of the other person. Hopefully this will never get tested and I continue to live in peace. So guess who has 4 days off in a row!!! That's right me!! Saturday, Sunday, Monday and Tuesday!!! I totally need this too!!! I'm not really sure what the whole time will entail but I imagine I'll be hanging out with Grant a lot lol! Anyways I should be getting ready for work. I know I don't have to leave for a little bit but I've got things to do before Daddy gets home!! Cheers mate! May 17, 2005 Okay so it's been a bit since I've written I know, I know. But I've been really tired and getting headaches recently. Then I realized why, they put the a/c on at work. For some reason that a/c always gives me headaches. Oh well, hopefully I'll just get used to it. I've been feeling kinda weird. Almost like a contradiction. Part of me wants to be surrounded by people and part of me wants to be by myself. I think I just need a good cry, I'm like overdue or something. Sometimes things all seem to bundle up in a group and then when I cry they get released. But the things are never big enough to get really upset about them when they happen in the little things. Like why would you cry b/c a co-worker is being frustrating. But if their frustrating all week, and lets say you can't sleep, and you get headaches, and you feel like people don't really actually like you... etc. Then you just feel like crying and it's this accumulation of things. It's like my couseller said one time, I seem to be a person who doesn't need a lot of encouragement b/c I always seem happy. And the fact that I'm usually the one doing the encouraging that sometimes all I need is somebody to come along side of me and help me out. Somebody to just be there. Which is why I appricate Grant and Shane so much. They're just there, they lend me their strength without even realizing it. I guess I get so upset with myself b/c sometimes I feel down and I don't actually have a reason for it!!!!! Blah!! I'm okay, I really am, I just think I'm tired. So singing for Jodi went really well. I now have to go to 2 pratices then I can start singing with the group!! I'm soo excited, b/c worship band is such a passion of mine! Music is so vital to who I am. Can you imagine a world without music? It would be soo dead!! Anyways I'm outie! May 9, 2005 So God has a weird way of working sometime. Way back in like January or February I had my neighbour call us on Weaver b/c he was outside and it was cold. So I got a ticket. And I haven't licenced Weaver for St. Catharines yet. So they said if I got him licenced they would rip up the ticket and I also had to get him a dog house. So I also hadn't gotten Weaver his shots yet. So I first of all had to get his shots. Got that done, if I hadn't gotten that call I would have never gotten Weaver his shots. Now April and Mikey just bought a puppy from the pound. It's got Parvo. A very contagious, and very deadly illness. Julie (the name of the puppy) might pull through. It turns out that one of the shots that Weaver got was for Parvo. That's amazing, God was sooo looking out for me and Weaver. I could have had a dying dog on my hand now and I don't and I'm so thankful for that. So my baby's okay! :D. So yeah things are going okay I guess. Yeah not bad. I hung out with Joanne tonight. That was fun. We watched "The Importance of Being Earnest". What a great movie!!! I could watch that movie over and over again! (hmm, cute guys, great script, thank you Oscar Wilde!!) So yeah I'm having a big BBQ on Sunday, inviting tons of people!! Oober excited about it!! (Dad won't be there lol!) I even get to do the grocery shopping for it!! I love grocery shopping!! Well I don't have much else to write. Cherrio!! May 6, 2005 Okay for those of you who aren't fluent in Latin (cuz I'm sure not) the phrase "E Pluribus Unum" means "One From Many". I thought I would add that in, I looked it up on the web today and now I know what it means. Last night after small group I went to Charlene's house and watched some pretty funny toons online. I really liked the jiggly but one lol! I also watched "Jesus For Guys", it was so funny!! You guys should visit the site www.jesusforguys.com go to the popluar downloads and watch Jesus For Guys and Christ, Christ Baby. (yes it is a remake of Ice Ice Baby) I had a good time with her. I bought her a tea ball. Cuz I'll never forget the time I had tea served to me at Charlene's house, it was leaves in a cup. I was like "you need a tea ball". So I happened to see one at work so I bought it for her. It's really cool b/c it's shaped like a tea pot! And it comes with a little plate to put it on when your done. *mmmm, just finished my Kraft Dinner, yummy* I got to clean up a bit before I go to work today cuz my parents will be home tonight. I wanted to get all my unpacking finished, ha. I haven't even really brought much else over, been so busy. But they should be home later tonight. Sadly one of their friends parent died. So the funeral is tomorrow so there gonna try to make it home tonight. That's sad, it totally sucks. So I can't decide which sone to play for Jodi next week. Too many are going through my head!! It's nuts! I was thinking "Holy, Holy, Holy" or "Almighty God" but I really don't know. And I'm not really sure where my big music binder is, I can only find my old SOAR book which doesn't have as many songs as my big red binder does. Oh well I'm sure I can find it. But first I have to tune Alex (my guitar). Cuz I know he's in tune to himself but oh gosh, I tried to play a song but he was too flat!! Brutal! Anyways I should be going. Tootles!! May 4, 2005 So my meeting with Jodi went really well. Talked about a whole bunch of things. And next week I'm bringing Alex (my guitar) and I'll be playing a song for her. Then the next step will be to hook up with a worship leader and work on things and then join up with the band!! I'm oober excited!!!! *starts singing* Today I got Shane and Grant to restring my guitar cuz I broke a string recently. That way I can pratice for next Tuesday. Youth went good as well. I got to hang out with some of the kids afterwards. One of them hinted that he'd like to hang out sometime. It was soo sweet!! I was reaching out to kids and their reaching back. We've bonded over Slurpees. It's true though, we go to 7 Eleven and get Slurpees after Youth. Today I unpacked more boxes, I only have 2 here left, yeah. But then I've still got a bunch at April's. *sigh* But it's getting better. I want to be all done by the time my parents get home on Saturday. It's finally starting to shape up!! Today I had Shane orgainze all my embroidary floss, I have so many and so many colours. I need to start making bracelets again. I think that would be so much fun. I also need to get some tiny beads and fishing line again to make those sorts of necklaces. I really enjoy creating things. Oh that reminds me, I need to make cookies this week.. So I'm good, I went out with Cody today, got that all sorted out. I'm feeling better. God's totally finding ways for me to serve other people. You know what, I never realized how many opportunities I had until I really started looking! There are tons of things you can do for people!! I'm excited! God has really worked in my life and that's awesome!! I can't thank him enough! Well I should be jettin!! Peace out! May 3, 2005 Weaver's home. *big happy smile* He came home last night. You see April and Mikey got a new puppy and well Weaver wasn't a big fan of Julie's. Anyways so Weaver came back home with me. We finished our campaign on Sunday, Dimitri is dead. Thanks Johnny :p. *glares at him bitterly*. Oh well it's just a game lol! I think my next character will be oober sweet and caring. Sugary sweet! So yeah today is my day off, slept in till 10:40, ahh, nice eh? Grant's coming over for a late lunch today then I have more moving and unpacking to do. And then tonight I have my meeting with Jodi and I have youth. I'm really excited about the meeting! Yeah so I'm feeling a lot better. Not sure why I guess I just took the focus of me and realized what was really important. I strive to be helpful to people and that's what I'm gonna do. Living at home now gives me the perfect opportunity to do that. I mean who needs more help then my mom. Dad is only home on weekends b/c of his job and things need to be done sometimes. I'm getting really excited for school!! To be back in that environment of learning. I've been out of school for 4 years now! That seems so nuts!! I realize that I'm not gonna get a decent job that I like if I don't go back. I want to work with children so I'm going to take a course that allows me to. Well that's about it for now. So TTFN. May 1, 2005 Happy May Day everybody. Hmm, it's May and it's rainy and cold. :p. "April showers bring May flowers. What do Mayflowers bring? Pilgrams." I know random thought eh? How am I doing? Not sure right now. People have been asking me a lot recently if I'm mad at them or if I'm okay. Okay here goes. I'm not totally fine and I don't really want to talk about it. The reason I don't really want to talk about it is b/c I don't even know if anything is going on. Like I feel more mellow and I guess for me that's unsual. Beats me. Yes I had a hard time moving back home, I mean who wants to feel like they've failed?! Who wants to give up some of their freedom. I crave my freedom, my car, my own place but I know you can't always have what you want. I mean right now I'm working on financial freedom. That's a hard one. I guess I've just made so many sacrifices recently that I don't feel like I have anything left to give up but it seems like my life calls for more sacrifices. So I guess I'll just have to find something else to cut. At least I didn't have to give up Weaver, that would have crushed me!! Right now I'm just sitting here waiting on God's next call. The most recent one was to move back home. And I know it will be a good thing, I have missed my mom a lot. And I'm mature enough now to stay at home without their being a hassle. I mean the place I got now is bigger that at April's house. I have a great boyfriend two amazing best friends, a group of Christians friends. I even have a meeting this Tuesday with Jodi about maybe singing in a worship band!! (Soo excited about that!!) So I guess I'm fine, I don't know. I've just mellowed out, I needed to I think. I guess recently I've been really trying to have a servant's heart. And that involves a lot of changing for me. I mean it's been working GREAT at work!! I try my hardest to be helpful and have a good positive attitude. And when things get frustrating I pray that God will correct my attitude. What's the sense of getting frustated/upset with people b/c they don't do what you want them to do? It's so utterly stupid. I can't expect people to do things for me b/c some people don't have servants hearts. I guess that's just getting to me recently. I look around and see how self centered people are and I wonder what's the point of doing things for them? Then I remember how selfish I am and I get soo upset by that. I don't want to be self centered/selfish I don't want to put myself first!!!! I want to put others before me and sometimes I just can't do it b/c I'm human and I suck. But I know with God that I can do it and He is helping me. He really is, He's taken me so far already. So to quote Relient K "I'm pressing on".