Richie

I came out in the mirror when I was 14.

I came out to my beloved schoolmate when I was 15.

I came out to the world when I was 16.

I fell in love with a 24 year old, and moved across country when I was 17.

He came out to the world...
Not in the mirror.

Six years later he came out to his father who abandoned him.
He was rejected.

Last year he stepped on my heart
when I walked in on him,
with a woman.

Two months ago he came out in the mirror.
Does he love me?

Last week she recieved the pregnancy test results.
It turned out to be a mistake, a LIE. SHE THOUGHT IT WOULD MAKE HIM FORGET.

is it too late, Richard?
Probably...

I am now 24 years of age.

I am young, but I have lived, loved, aged & died.
I am not hoping for birth.

HOW SELF CENTERED I WAS.
I am now 25 years of age.

ONE YEAR TO COOL... (OR WARM?)
ANOTHER CIRCLE OF THE SUN
...OR ANOTHER CIRCLE OF THE EARTH?

He didn't forget. But, I think he wants to.

We became friends... best friends. No one knows me
better than Richie.

Quiet audience claps, in the middle of Ella's slow Jazz tunes.
Check the mail?

another friend
A Ms. Lopuck was rejected by me,

she,
"You little fag, you don't know what you want!
   I know what you fags want!
   Your best friend...your LOVE, RICHARD?
HE FUCKED ME IN THE SAME BUILDING YOU SLEEP IN!"

.............................................. 2 days

Richie came to visit me.
"open this box at home, sweety"

I can't talk to you, Richie...goodbye.

I'm sorry it had to end this way,
again. - Voice Mail

I have never seen him since.
Empty apartment
No phone line

Cosmic Joker played a good one on me!

I didn't get to say goodbye... or "I'm coming with you."

In the box was a mirror I have never been able to see into.

I'm sorry Richie.

I wish I knew how much I loved you.
I abandoned you when you loved me.
I hurt you,

   and I HURT MYSELF.
I have no one else to blame.

You deserve so much.

Someday I'll grow up.
and I'll remember.

-R.F.