Author: Katrine Eternity Angel Drangonus
Disclaimer: The usual disclaimer.
Musical Attribute: Utada Hikaru/Jessica Zaragoza First Love (English Translation..Other Version)
You are always gonna be my love
I'll remember to love
You taught me how
You are always gonna be the one
You will always be inside my heart
I hope that I have a place in your heart too
Now and forever you are still the one
Utada Hikaru + First Love
Part 1: Things Remembered..The breaking of a spell
The fluttering of her heart would be felt if only by her as she saw him again for the first time in many years. She had loved him at one time..and always would. Though it would never be in the way that he wanted her to love him. Despite her reservations that age old ache returned and she would think of things that might have been. The things that would be now if other choices hadn't been made. And she could feel his love for her was just as strong, if not stronger, as it had been before they ended their engagement. Just being in the same room as him was difficult at times..but she would abide by it if for no reason other than that she was his commander.
It wouldn't be until she was alone that she would examine these things she was feeling and the first of the memories would return. It was a setting for disaster no doubt..and one that would perhaps either draw them together as friends, or destroy that delicate balance pushing them apart forever. She would be within her sitting room at Castle Drangonus when the first wave of dizziness would hit her. Slender digits would twine through silken locks as she would begin to tremble. Darkness closing over her and she relived that torment as if it were happening anew.
Pain..dispear..hoplessness..all these things floated within her mind as she struggled to move. Limbs refusing to do her biding as she tried to force her body to twist away from her attacker. And then the silence within that fragile mind..she was cut off from her Alex..and her family. Links were severed in that instant..had the Gods forsaken her?Her soul felt as if it were being ripped apart..and in a sense it was. Pale pink lips parted as she screamed..her voice growing raspy from each one that errupted from her. She could feel each painful thrust of him into her smaller form. And then there was that awareness of another soul fighting with her to free herself from him. But escape would evade them..and then darkness would consume her. She had been broken.
Her head would snap up as she resurfaced from these horrible memories. Things that couldn't possibly be true..yet she knew deep inside that they were. The unstable barrier within her fragile mind began to break. She would be at the recruiting tavern when the next wave hit her. A glass of scotch within her small gloved hand..she rarely drank but tonight she needed something stronger than juice to ease her throbbing head. Pools of aquamarine would watch him and his lover..she wasn't jealous. She was quite glad that he had found someone to make him happy..or so she thought that was the case.
But again that inky void would reopen..her hand tightening on her glass as she relived the days after in her memories. The retreat into herself..Ivy coming to visit her in her dreams. She was the child...black streaked blonde in pigtails and she wore a satin dress with shiny black leather shoes. Her dream world was always thus..and Prince Ivy reminded her of her long dead brother Angelius. How she had wept when she learned of her Angelius' death. It would be Ivy who would draw her out when no one else could...but she would wonder..where was Alex when she needed him?
That glass would shatter within her hand..sharp shards of glass cutting thru the leather of her glove and leaving gashes in her delicate flesh. Silver colored blood would flow with ease..almost as it did when Alex feed from her after making love to her. And she wuold pull away when he tried to heal her..she wanted Alex. Pools of aquamarine would become full of fear when he wrapped his wings around her to hold her still. It was too tight..she would panic..and relax only after he had loosened that grip.More memories would return.She had been isolated.
Pieces would come together a little at a time..once again at the recruiting tavern only it was just him there this time. She would begin to tremble..memories tumbling free of a time she had been unable to protect herself. Why did the gods do this to her? Was it some form of punishment to have the memories restored? It had started with him..and would end with her losing herself once more.
The clash of swords hitting each other would fill the air. And then he would have her backed against the wall of a cave. One hand at ehr throat and the other holding his sword. She was defiant..not backing down..she owed this to herself. It would lead to her death. It happened in slow motion...the sword coming down and embedding in her tender flesh. Blinding pain and then darkness eternal. A shimmering behind him as her blade slammed into his back and holy lights encased him..her mortal form dead..her angelic one close to death. They would meet again.
Daewin and Sapphire would save her..reanimation would be done to her mortal form. The damage repaired..but a scar would remain. Extending from her shoulder to just below where her heart was located in her chest. Eyes would hold that haunted look..and nightmares would ensue. Nothing was the same anymore..and still he was free. She couldn't bear to be touched by another..her carefree spirit gone. She had been destroyed.
Still more memories would return..only now in private. She couldn't take the chance of another break down before him..or people she didn't know well. It was killing her inside. She would curl up into a ball in the center of the bed she shared with Alex. Pools of aquamarine closed tightly as the next wave of forgotten memories would return. It was too much for her..a silent scream echoing in her mind as she relieved the horrors.
Eternity,Gry,and Zoay had sought him out..but it would be Eternity who would find him. A vow of vengance having been made..one that wouldn't be broken. Soon enough the two would face each other..the Fallen Angel and the demon. She would smile darkly as she confronted him..taunted him..and in the end nearly defeated him.No weapons were used..she perfered it that way. Eternity would kill him with her bare hands. Each blow was harder than the last..both taking damage from the other. She would wipe a trickle of blood from black painted lips and smile. It felt good to fight him..she would kill him before the night was over. The fight took a turn for the worst. She had fallen..he shattered her knee. The pain blinded her but she continued..she could feel her twins pain from each blow..they were still connected. And then it was over..he cheated..encased her in a bubble and sent her back. It wasn't over yet.
Katrine would seek aide from Darqjin to set her shattered knee back in place so that it could be healed. Eternity having gone off to lick her wounds. She was slipping further away from everyone she loved. Even Zoay was worried..and she rarely expressed that type of emotion. Soon there would be nothing left but an empty shell. She had been defeated.
Still more memories came that night..soft whimpers leaving her..but Alex wasn't there to hold her..to comfort her and tell her it was going to be okay. She finally lost herself within the memories spilling forth from that inky void within her fragile mind. She wanted them to stop..to be false..but she knew they weren't.
She wanted to die..to find an end to her pain. Carefully she seperated the things she would need to make the poison that would slowly kill her. But she couldn't do it alone..she wanted Zoay to help her. That vial was held firmly in her small hand as she went in search of her younger sister, only to be sidetracked by Ultimus and Gry.She would learn a lesson from this..but she still wanted to die. She had been driven almost insane.
Part 2: The change..for better or for worse?
Rarely a tear was shed during this time..it was as if they had all dried up inside of her. She was a changed woman..yet she met Heaven during this time in her life when nothing was the same. And she formed a friendship with this woman who had the same fears as she did at times. But not all things are meant to last..Heaven was kidnapped..and Katrine was needed to help find her.
She had hidden from her own emotions for so long she wasn't sure if she could handle linking to another in such a way. She did it anyway. An emotional bond was formed between the two women and it was in this way that she was able to locate and keep up with her friends wellfare. But it was taxing for her..the one who held Heaven had discovered the link. Her mind would be played with.
Each step brought her closer to the edge. Each scene that Vir painted for her brought her closer to losing herself. And she fought the closinig darkness..she wouldn't let what happened to her happen to Heaven. She and Eternity would combine their strengths to prevent this. She giving comfort and love..Eternity giving strength and support. And then that link would be broken by Vir. But Kyle would press one last time, and force a link open between himself and Heaven using her as the conductor.
And they would rescue Heaven..a death match between Kyle and Vir..Kyle being the winner. But Katrine was falling..it was an endless spiral. Each day brought her closer to the edge of insanity..and there was nothing she could do to stop it. It was a never ending fall into the abyss. Her sanity would be questioned.
She finally had a total breakdown..and Alex swept her away from Rhy'Din to recover. Days of endless slumber would follow nights of attempted passion..but she was cold and unresponisve. It nearly broke Alex..but he never left her. Each day was taken one at a time until she could take no more.
Finally in a fit of despair she sought an end to her torment. Rose Steelshanks brought this redemption of sorts to her. Memories were drawn into a protective sphere within the fragile mind of the Angelic Ice Maiden.And it was as if none of the events that lead to this had happened. Rose gave her a black rose to give Alex as a gift from her old self and from Rose. It was to symbolize that which had been taken away and locked deep in her mind.
After that things could only get better, though she remembered nothing from the months after the rape or even of the act itself. And things did indeed get better.But she would be lost.
Part 3: Returning to the Basics
Rosalind Starlight, Eternity Darkmoon..Gabriella Angel..all her yet not and no one seemed to understand that. Rosalind was her two thousand years in the future..Eternity was her darker half..and Gabriella was her from the past. Yet the one person other than Alex, who should know her better than anyone seemed to not even notice that. And so she was pulled in two directions once more..a part of her still loving him and a part hating him with a passion. She loved Alex, but she wanted to remain friends with Arc.It just didn't seem to be something that would work as she wanted. But when did things ever work out the way we wanted them to?
So, it was back to the basics..the old way of doing things that had been perfected over time. She was afterall an immortal more or less. Although the damage had already been done she was more than prepared to face things this time. She faced each and every fear she had harbored of that time and this time she came to terms with the things that had happened to her.
Some decisions had been made for her..things she would never have allowed had she known about them. But how can she tell two goddess' what to do? Of course in the end things took an unexpected twist and a new 'sister' was created.To her it felt as if she were being groomed for a more intresting fate. Which in truth she was..she would be the next ruler of Starlight Kingdom. Alexa knew what she was doing..even she had the three sides. Kalikia Darkrose..the darker half..Alexa Nightshade..the lighter half...and Starlight Dayne..the childlike half. The three parts that made up the Starlight Goddess and Queen of Starlight Kingdom. Katrine now had her three parts. Eternity Darkmoon..the dark side of her personalty..Katrine Drangonus..the lighter side..and Gabriella Angel..the childlike side. But unlike Starlight..Katrines three sides were seperate people, only to be combined when in dire need.
Eternity Rose Darkmoon, while having at one time been an everyday part of her twin found herself making a new life. They had grown to having a relationship of a rocky truce. Eternity having found someone to care for much to her vast horror..and even to love. To make matters worse she had a child now..one thing she swore she would never do. But she could still hold her own over anything..and she would still carry out a few acts of revenge before she put things to rest. Thus was her way of doing things.
Gabriella Angelique Angel, she was created not born. She had an even less unlikely relationship with he 'sisters' than Eternity and Katrine had with each other. She had been created for him..and would only stay for as long as she was wanted or needed. Unless she felt that things would be better without her around. While she was shy, if pushed enough that careful control would snap.Gabriella had been made in Katrines image..but with two differences..like Eternity her hair and eye color were different. Gabby also wears a moonstone pendant identical to the one that Arcannon has. What was unknown however to everyone but the beings that had created Gabriella was that it had been done at the request of someone. It had been a decision of the heart.