’ZAC!!! Give me a hand please!!’ I yelled through the front door at my younger brother who was sprottled out on the sofa with a soda can resting on his stomach.

She’d not woken fully on the short ride back to my house, the only place I could think of taking her seeing as how she was illusive I didn’t know anything except she live in an apartment downtown. You’d think after almost a month I’d know a tiny bit more than that. But still, I’d driven back here at top speed, constantly checking on her. Her eyes had moved plenty of times and she was starting to fidget as we pulled up the drive so the stifling warmth of the car was working someway to bringing her round. The nippy night air was setting in and it wouldn’t surprise me if by morning we saw spots of frost on the lawn in an uncharacteristically brisk weather turn. I didn’t quite know how I was going to explain being drenched and bringing a half awake and frozen girl into our house without raising a few eyebrows, that would just have to come to me when asked.

’Taylor what’s with all the shouting? Who’s she?’ Zac stood in the doorway in sweats and my black t-shirt I’d strictly said was off limits this morning. I’d opened the passenger door and was trying to wake Season up before carrying her into the house.

’I’m answer questions in a moment will you just get me a blanket and a couple of towels please?’ I barked at Zac who rolled his eyes and padded off back in search of the items I demanded. I pushed her matted hair away from her cheeks, letting my palms smooth over the ruddy skin gently as I tried to wake her.

’Season? It’s Taylor come on wake up for me,’ I whispered quietly too her, running my thumb over her eyebrows in a way that was meant to relax in a time of distress. No doubt that’s what she would be when she comes round, in a strange house surrounded by strange people, fully clothed, full of cold and perhaps no clue that we’d kissed. No sooner had I started to stroke her face lightly her eyes opened groggily and her body shifted.

’Well hey there,’ I smiled as my hands slipped from her face.

’I feel so sick,’ she coughed softly just as Zac appeared back at the door with the blanket and towels.

’I thought you might somehow, look I didn’t know where you lived so I’ve brought you back to my house and I insist you stay here tonight so we can make sure your okay,’

’Ugh no Taylor take me home,’

’You just fainted on me Season, do you even remember that? Don’t start being stubborn,’ I replied sternly taking the blanket from Zac’s hands and offering it out to her as she swung her legs out of the car and held onto the door to try and stand up.

’It doesn’t matter if I fell and broke my leg, I don’t need you to help me I just need to get home and crawl into bed,’

’I feel that this is my fault so please just humour me will you and stay here tonight?’ she hadn’t a clue about anything she’d said or did it was obvious. She was just resorting to being stubborn and independent towards me and I wasn’t taking it. I could write of the kiss all well and good, not even mention it too her but I didn’t want her getting even sicker thanks to me. She’d given me so much in such little time I really didn’t want this to blow the chance of maybe being given a little insight into friendship.

’Taylor where is she going to sleep? You know Isaac has friends from home here and don’t forget mom won’t be wild on a girl staying over, not right now,’ Zac chipped in as I helped Season to stand, wrapping the blanket around her as she told me to leave her alone, that she could take care of it.

’She can have my bed Zac, look she’s a friend okay, it’s safe just trust me,’

’Are you really sure…,’

’Yes I’m sure now thanks but I can take care of it from here,’

Zac walked away from me shaking his head whilst I decided getting a talking down too was better than leaving her to go home and wallow in Kleenex.

’Don’t think you have to help me Taylor I don’t hold you responsible for me catching a cold. I’ve been managing for years without someone like you to help me. If you take me home I promise I won’t be a stranger,’ she insisted as I grabbed our things from the back seat.

’No you won’t be a stranger because I refuse to take you home, now come on I’ll make us a hot drink and I’ll take you home tomorrow morning when I drop the film into to the local dark room developers,’ now I was being defiant, I wasn’t letting her out of my sight. She may well have survived for years without ‘someone like me’ but just this once she could bite her tongue and understand she’s getting help-weather she likes it or not.

’God, I should be hating you right now I don’t want to do this,’ she scowled comically as she started to walk with me to the front, causing me to brake a smile and a silent sigh of relief that maybe this quick turn of events after she’d helped me out considerably hadn’t totally dented my chances in proving that letting me get to know her was a worth while cause after all.

I was cuddled up in the corner of one very beat up beige sofa, you know the type with cushions that acted like the plant from little shop of horrors, the ones that you could swear were chanting ‘feed me’? Well I hated to admit it and I wouldn’t but I was feeling more alive holding a large mug full of rich hot chocolate and a blanket wrapped tightly around me. I hated any kind of help, I didn’t need it I never did when I was growing up thanks to my parents leaving me with an aunt who never really cared and a high school bullying problem that threatened to get me certified paranoid almost as quickly as it started. I was used to getting by alone and I liked it, I felt a sense of pride saying that it had been 22 years, Season and Season. It’s not I didn’t want friends or come across lonely periods in my life when I wouldn’t mind some company or companionship, but Derek was my one acceptation and it did me no favours, I grew to depend on him too much and then when he left it was like taking the table out from underneath me, the lowly crockery. At least I know that I could never let me down so I always told myself that’s how it would stay. But I couldn’t say no to Taylor and I felt a little nerved that he’d seen me like that, in a moment of weakness. My only hope was that I didn’t pose too much of a problem or do something stupid that he’d hold against me.

He’d gone in search of his mother, telling her in no uncertain terms that his artist friend was feeling unwell and he felt someone should keep and eye on her for the night as no one else will be able to check on her. I could hear his mother reluctantly agreeing in the other room and I was on her side, I wanted her to put her foot down and tell him to take me home but she didn’t and I couldn’t protest anymore. I mean there must be a real need for him to want to know me but I just can’t see it as clearly as he can.

I set my chocolate down on the table and pulled the white folds of the blanket around me tighter shutting my eyes for just a moment until he would return and tell me once again that I was staying the night, and that, was final.

I stretched my fingers, tugging at my material cocoon blindly as I fought against the state of being half asleep and half awake at the same time. I was still waiting for Taylor to come back, or so I thought and deciding that I couldn’t take the feeling of drifting in and out of dreamland anymore I decided to open my eyes and try and find out where exactly he’d gone leaving me left on the sofa in a strange house I didn’t want to be in, in the first place.

Upon opening my eyes I was greeted with a vat of darkness, no warm lights and no television blaring, no voices to be heard. My heart rate sped up, I didn’t have a clue where I was, looking down at the surface I was snuggled up against I didn’t see the beat up beige sofa, nor did I feel my body being engulphed by the ‘feed me’ cushions. I raised my head to see two plump pillows, my body still swaddled in the white blanket Zac had rescued for me upon Taylor’s orders, and there was something else covering me. A thick quilt was tucked around me my body heat aided by a free-wheeling heater that had been placed close to the bed in the strange room or the strange house of the boy who I knew, but didn’t know all at the same time. Sitting up a little in what now obviously revelled itself as a bed I pushed the covers down a little noting I was clothed in the things I’d put in my bag over by the redwoods at the chine. Had Taylor done that too? I looked round, trying to see the room a little better thanks to a couple of beams of light peeping in through the half closed blinds over by the window. I looked around and caught sight of a desk and something’s on the wall and a wardrobe, stereo stack and… laying on top of the covers beside me, clutching a t-shirt in his hand, wrapped only in a towel- one very tired and worn out Taylor.

I put my hand over my mouth to stop any audible surprise waking him up. I shifted in the bed, now obviously belonging to him and looked over at him curled up in a tight ball on top of covers right on the edge of the bed, clutching a t-shirt he more than likely intended to put on after the shower his towel told me he had taken. But he’d obviously sat down for a moment, and just never gotten round to clothing himself. It was very scary and it did strike a mild fear in me that I was in his bed with him inches away practically as naked as I was a second ago and there was no way I could get out of this house and on my way home without waking up the rest of his family. Knowing full well that it was my own idea that had given me this now apparent head cold, I decided that the more I moan the worse I’d feel and it was already early morning judging by the ticking of the clock on the night stand so I better just shut up and try and get some rest in the over sized and overly comfy bed.

Just as I stopped staring at him, intending to cover myself and hideaway from sight till sunrise I noticed him shift a little, straightening his leg and easing onto his back. His towel had become un-tucked in the process, now just resting on those painfully bony hips bones and grazing the top of his toned thighs. I let myself look at the spectacle, following up his thin waist and slender pectorals to his sumptuous expression of his face, pouting in his sleep as his eyelashes jumped a little, his arms resting on the hollow of his stomach. What I wouldn’t give for a piece of charcoal and a sketch pad right at this very moment, his position was perfect and so au natural that I could feel my temperature rising in excitement of this great sketching opportunity. Alas, I didn’t have anything to capture it with and my small high was now quickly deflating, much to my annoyance.

I was half awake by now and I was trying to gain momentum to get up and clothe myself so as not to cause alarm to Season when she did wake up. For I was fairly sure waking to find herself in my bed would be shock enough, but there was no point in waking her on the sofa when I came back from talking with mom, so I carried her to bed and grabbed me a steaming hot shower to stop my numb toes from getting frostbite. I could hear her shifting and I let my eyes flicker a little to catch a glimpse of what she was up to, making sure she was okay and I was a little surprised to find her sitting up and staring at me. She was looking at me pensively, looking up at me stopping and then following her eyes up a little more so I quickly stopped looking out the small crack in my eyes. What was she thinking? Did she want her sketchbook, or was she just wondering how such a hideous body could insight so many teenage fantasies’? Even the latter is beyond thinking for me too.

She looked to be settling down, looking a little disappointed so I thought as soon as she’d snuggled back down I would get up and get dressed. Only the thing was, she may have started to settle but she say straight back up again and pushed her covers off her. I just lay there wondering what was the matter, almost tempted to wake and ask her but I didn’t have to. I felt her hand on my chest, her fingers trailing over the lines of my ribs, tracing lines as if I was a dot to dot. I was shocked, not alarmed but shocked she was touching my body at all but then, I’d touched her and it meant nothing, had it not? Her hand ran up and down the valley of my chest, sloping down into the slight dip of my stomach softly. It was then curiosity got the better of me and I started to open my eyes to her.

’What am I show and tell?’ I smiled dopily, watching as she jerked her hand away shocked and alarmed, her face looking like a thief caught in the act.

’Don’t look so scared Season it’s okay, anyway I’ve been awake for the last few minutes anyway,’ I added, sitting up a little watching her bit her lip and sniff slightly.

’There’s some paper and pencils over there on the desk if you want to use them,’ I pointed over to where a faint shadow was being cast from the Oakwood desk over by the wall that housed my laptop and papers.

’How did you know I was thinking that?’ she asked softly, pulling the blanket back round her shoulders, sitting up against the headboard.

’I just did, you wouldn’t have just reached out to touch for any other reason I mean you don’t want to be here as it is and I know that you don’t find me attractive, you don’t need anyone else I seem to recall you saying,’ I tucked the towel securely again before joining her in sitting upright against the wrought iron headboard.

’No Taylor, it’s just there have been times when people have helped me and I relied upon them too much and I just got hurt. At least with me I can’t let myself down. You’ve been so kind in helping me this evening and although I would have preferred to look after myself I can’t throw your hospitality back at you like it means nothing, like this evening has meant nothing,’

’I thought it was just a favour for a favour?’

’It was but I think I’ve learnt something’s about you tonight and I know that you want to learn about me, god knows why but you do,’

’I just did what I thought was right,’

’I know you did Taylor, thank you for that I know I’m stubborn but how would I be sure you wouldn’t attack my little world if I let you in?’

’Because I want to see the creative you and that’s all I want to see if you’d only let me,’

’Your obviously already seeing it if you knew why I was touching you just then. You automatically knew why I was so you must already see the creative me. You saw it tonight at the chine with what I offered with you to photograph, you’ve seen my artwork-what more could you want to see?’

’I’ll think of something,’

A silence fell as we looked across at each other her swaddled to the nines, me practically naked yet my temperature was burning high. I was revelling in the fact that I wasn’t backing away from this, I wasn’t going to be damned if I couldn’t gain one friend who saw a different creative perspective on me.

’Your hips and your chest, they’re very slender, not quite toned but a sketchbook artists dream,’ her change of topic broke the awkward silence and caused me to glance down at my weedy body and scoff.

’If I didn’t know any better I’d say that’s a rubbish chat up line you have there!’ I chuckled, watching as she shook off the blanket and covers and padded over towards me.

’No see here, the way your rib cage is high but not pigeon and yet your stomach hollows in on a steady gradient, I’ve never seen that before for usually the men like that have large outward rib cages and then they scallop into a tiny stomach and it looks terrible, but yours is just right,’ she splayed her fingers across my chest then pushed down into the hollow of my stomach to the top of the towel. This time her movements seemed very sensual, her soft hand touching me, even in the most innocent of ways, her body kneeling at the side of me as she watched her movements, informing me of her fascination. I closed my eyes slight and swallowed hard- yet again, not the best of times to be getting an almighty hard on.

’And here, your hip bones, so bony, jutting out here yet they compliment your slim thighs well,’ she pushed the towel down just slightly too my hips to brush her fingertips over the hard bone of my hips. I ought to stop her, no matter how constructive her touches, I couldn’t let her do this not right now I wouldn’t be able to hold it in, even though I knew that attraction to her sexually was not what I intentionally desired from her.

’Season please don’t think I’m a pervert but your really going to have to stop, I don’t want you to think I’m getting off on this,’

’Oh don’t be silly, I know you don’t mean it, you can hardly control it, if you get hard it doesn’t matter,’ how can she just brush it off like that? Wait, she’ll have done anatomy art at university, hundreds of nude guys and gals- still, it doesn’t change right here and right now. I’d tried so hard not to show a discomfort when photographing her, and right now she was making t very difficult for me to continue with that.

’Lay down, let me look at you like I just did, don’t worry about it,’ she smiled faintly whilst I eyed her cautiously before slipping back down to lay properly with my head on the pillows. I felt her hand skim over my collarbone and down my arm, over my elbow gently.

’Where’s that paper again?’ she asked softly, still kneeling beside me her breath hitting my cheek. I pointed over to the desk and watched as she carefully got off the bed, still a little unsteady, sniffing as she went. She retrieved the paper and pencil and just as I was about to tell her that maybe this wasn’t quite such a good idea right now after the events of the evening, her fingers un-tucked the towel and pealed it away and I was well and truly out of my depth.

He was so worried about showing his excitement, I knew he wanted to try and earn as many brownie points as possible to understand me but he didn’t have to, he was already doing it, he just had to grasp that these spontaneous urges to draw and sketch such things do occur and they aren’t to be worried about, I don’t get turned on personally by doing such things for the art is my focus.

’Season no, please this isn’t such a good idea,’

’Yet you had no embarrassment about photographing me naked when I asked if you were okay with it? Learn Taylor that this is what I do, part of what I’m like- I’m showing you me here, don’t push it away,’ I smiled, roaming my eyes over his semi erect member reaching for his belly. He closed his eyes and just tried to contain himself as I smoothed my hand down his lower calf, the downy hairs that covered it tickling my hand before I brought it straight back up between the juncture of his legs.

’Season!’

’Sussh,

I didn’t even look at him when I tried to calm him down, I merely let myself feel his soft skin, his hot length radiating warmth as it grew fully erect. I had to admit it was a sight to see. If I’d not grown so used to this I would have had eyes out on stalks at what he possessed, a fine specimen if ever I saw one. I ran the flat of my palm along the underside of his shaft causing his hands to grip at the quilt and as soon as I stopped he released his grip.

’Your body maybe a little thin but it’s a gem to any artist,’ I whispered with a smile as I removed my hands and grabbed at the pencil I’d picked up from his desk. I watched his head turn to look at me, his chest rising and falling and his expression still very unsure.

’You really have to stop, I can’t let you do this Season,’

’Why not?’ I mumbled, sketching away furiously

’I just can’t,’

’Your not embarrassed, you weren’t with me and don’t be silly I’m complimenting you and no one else will know,’

’Your turning me on,’

’I’ve no doubt that I am,’

’I’m going to get up and sleep on the sofa, I really don’t think this should happen not right now, maybe one day but not right now,’

’Lay down Taylor and trust me, I trusted you to take pictures of me no matter how used to it I might have been, just trust me,’

’Your making it very hard for me to restrain myself,’

’Why?’

’Because you are beautiful and god no don’t please,’

’I seem to vaguely remember feeling you kiss me back at the chine, I remember brushing your lips or something similar and I’m not embarrassed about that because I didn’t know really what I was doing,’

’What’s that got to do with this?’

’I’m just saying I felt you kiss me back, in fact that’s the last I think I remember and if you did there was a reason,’

’I don’t know,’

’Exactly just like you don’t know why this is wrong for you to do,’

She was spouting off questions as she sketched, eyeing my aching erection and my body fleetingly before sweeping the pencil across the paper over and over. Her last replies had startled me, that she vaguely could remember kissing me yet she seemed un-phased, perhaps she had no reason but she knew I kissed her back and unlike her, now I was embarrassed because I didn’t have a reason to kiss her back either.

’I’m letting you have insight here, you want to know me, deal with how I do things,’ she started, dropping the pencil and turning the paper round to show me her quick masterpiece. There was me, lying on the quilt body exactly as she described and my erection drawn carefully, the head just touching the tip of my stomach. It was innocently hot and it was good.

’There, now what was the fuss about?’ she smiled placing the paper and pencil on the nightstand and turning back to me.

’Okay okay but you have to let me go, I have to get rid of this it’s killing me,’

’I am embarrassed,’

Whoa, hold the phone and rewind. What did she just say?

’Pardon? Your embarrassed?’ I said with a raise eyebrow, reaching to cover my exposed penis with the towel she’s pushed away. I watched her shake her head the crawl back under the quilt and in her blanket quietly as if she wouldn’t answer me or I was imagining things.

’Season what is it?’ I asked softly, tying the towel back around me and trying to ignore the pumping hard on which threatened to explode with the friction of the towel if I didn’t take care of it. I watched her hands cover her face and almost as quickly as she’d stunned me in discarding my towel, she’s stunned me again with an instant change of attitude. I laid my head on the pillow beside her, raising my hands up to pull hers away almost wondering if I was stuck in some freaky parallel.< Then there was another shock.

A lone tear

’I’m so very sorry for how I was when we’d finished, I felt so dizzy, so unsteady from the cold weather and I don’t know why I kissed you, I wasn’t thinking and I have no reason and no for a change you can see me embarrassed,’ she bumbled, sniffing away at her cold as she looked up to me, her head just peeking out of the quilt. Shifting a little I swiped away the tear and smiled.

’Well I’m rather surprised but I didn’t think you remembered it so I didn’t think to bring it up but it’s okay, I know what it was and it’s fine,’

’The hugs were nice though,’ she added sheepishly as if she’d told herself she wasn’t allowed to like these things anymore because it wasn’t something she could give to herself. I now found it a little sad that she was like that in that single respect.

’Well here, have another on me,’ I reached out to wrap one around her, pulling her closer gently.

’Didn’t you need to go to the bathroom?’ she joked, our faces once again only inches apart, I shock my head.

’No rush,’

’I guess this means you’re my only friend now weather I like it or not?’ she questioned, resting her forehead against mine.

’Depends if you’ll have me,’

Why was I getting like this, being all embarrassed and shy? Had not I, only moments ago, stripped this guy and told him to stop worrying and let me draw him? Curse my emotions being like a yo-yo on crack cocaine. He had an arm around me, our foreheads were together and I could smell the lemon scent of the shower gel he’s used. His breath was warm and sweet and I could taste it on my lips, licking them gently I simply touched my lips to the corner of his mouth in a small gesture of an unspoken reply.

It had gotten to the point I wanted him to be my friend now because I knew that whatever he did bring to me wouldn’t hurt me, I just had to learn to understand him a little too. But I felt his lips at the corner of my mouth seconds later and something felt strangely fine again, like it did only hours ago through my dizzy haze. I opened my mouth slightly and lightly responded to his innocent gesture.

’Is that what I did before?’ I whispered as I looked into his blinding eyes. He didn’t reply either, he just captured my parted lips in his and held them there, gently moving them so he could suck my bottom lip in return. I closed my eyes, I was overwhelmed, it was all proving too much.

He slipped his tongue in gently, hesitantly seeking out my own in this rather odd and unconventional turn of events. Upon finding it I responded, surprisingly liking the slow dance he was performing. I pulled the covers back a little, letting the arm he had draped over me in comfort fall onto my clothed hip, his fingers gripping lightly. It felt nice to be kissed again, even if it had no foundation and no reason if he photographs me naked and I could draw him naked and touch his body without insinuation- there was no harm in that, there wasn’t any harm in a kiss like the one we were indulging in. I did however feel a little cross with myself at the fact I’d let this evening wear me down to him, even though I knew I was just as curious as he was, intent on understand another unlike you.

I ran my palm once again down his body, tugging at the towel as our meaningless kiss continued, holding us in a state of comfort, or at least for me anyway. I wasn’t lessening myself for I didn’t want him, I didn’t want him sexually but I felt there was something I owed him-despite paying back my dues with the siren session.

’Here, move a little,’ I mumbled against his mouth, pushing his shoulder so he rolled on his back, letting me out of the cocoon I’d made under the quilt. Surprisingly he did so and let me kneel once more beside him, allowing my lips to wallow in his comfortable hold. I slid my hand down, wrapping my thumb and forefinger around the base of his still achingly hard member with a jolt of surprise from him once more.

’Sussh Taylor, it means nothing, you need help and seeing as how I did that I will help you, friends help each other,’ I whispered, kissing him once more before I shifted down towards the straining length.

’It’s okay, really i…Ohh god,’ he moaned breathlessly as I licked the tip of the head. I sucked lightly and imagined what a picture I could have drawn from the expression he no doubt held on his face. But in no hesitation I took him in my mouth, letting him bump to the back of my throat, bathing it in electric heat. I didn’t touch his legs, or any other part of his body for there was no want in my act, simply a thank you and weather he grasped that at this moment or not he would know of it by morning. I could taste him already, sour yet pleasantly so as I let my tongue lick up and down slowly whilst I let him whimper softly. But I could feel it rising up inside of him, his hips raised slightly in warning so I simply pulled away, letting him come all over his stomach. After all they say swallowing is for lovers.

When she pulled away I wasn’t surprised in fact I wasn’t surprised by her decision to do what she just did but regardless of her theory that it meant nothing, and I knew full well she didn’t care that it was an act of pure help. But the thing was it wasn’t right for me to let that happen. She obviously had no plans to feel embarrassed about it and truthfully I didn’t- but there were just other restraints that told me it was wrong.

’Taylor- don’t be embarrassed,’

’I’m not, it’s just my friends don’t do that,’

’But isn’t your point of getting to know me because I am different to your friends?’

’Well yes but you didn’t want me to be your friend, you don’t have friends if you did, would you do that to them if that’s what they needed?’

’You are put on this earth to serve others not only yourself. Yes I made life so I didn’t serve others because in my experiences it only earned me trouble- but your different, you’ve shown me you are and I’m slowly coming round to the idea of us being friends. I’m the most giving person in the world and I expect little in return, but no one’s ever let me so I never gave,’

And with that, she crawled back under the covers, hushed her goodnight and snuggled back down into the dreamlands.