I waited down at the bottom of the stairs for Hyde to come and whisk me off my feet in all his suited glory, hopefully making me forget what a jumped up pixie i looked in my one and only 'little-black-dress'. I still can't say the whole idea of this evening threw me into a frenzy, but it didn't seem so special now that Hyde had agreed to move tables and sit with 'Beau', the girl who i'd only heard of hours ago, and already was slyly weary of. But Hyde wanted us to be seen out, to air the cobwebs since our last 'works outing', and with a charm as irresistible as his-i couldn't say no, after all, Beau wouldn't be sharing him, it'd be me. 'Hyde come on, the more were late, the later the hour we leave!' i bellowed up the stairs, stamping my foot childishly just as he turned to jog down the stairs to greet me. Looking him up and down i felt a frog in my throat when i saw him pristine and proper in his suit, crisp white shirt and hair neatly coiffed. I felt him pulling me into his embrace, his hands firm on my hips causing me to panic for a second, as i was somewhat scared . His hands on my hips like that, the way he looked....It was a look like that, that started me off on my one and only mistake. 'Okay sweetness, clam down-you shall go to the ball,' he joked as he opened the door and guided me out, leaving me to mumble some non-sensical sarcastic answer and calm my hormones, that Hyde was not a Taylor, he was my boyfriend and the man i love.
I seem to have more people coming up to me, professing to know me than my little black address book actually contains addresses to these fakes. Pats on the back and congratulations were being pepped my way as i 'mingled' with Beau, on the way to finding our dinner table. Looking over to her every now and then, i noticed her smile didn't falter once as she bumped into stranger upon stranger's wife, commenting on her striking Lilac dress, and more to the point the dashing young man on her arm (shall we save predictability and not say 'insert *rolls eyes* here?')
Zac had left with his date to find some friends he vowed to meet up with and compare suits (more like girlfriends) and i was starting to wish Isaac had not been such a pooper and come to this boring thing, just so that me and Beau had more conversation, should needs require. Oh no wait, we have this Hyde guy and his girlfriend to join us, great even more strangers to falsify to my face. We took our seats at the table and finally got a moment to let our greeting faces drop and breath for air. 'Remind me why we came?' i joked as Beau stopped a waiter, grasping two glasses of champagne in her hands, thrusting one my way. 'Because you wanted to show me off and laugh in the faces of people who said you wouldn't make it?' she replied with an expectant look. I looked at her before raising my glass with her, nothing fitting my reason to stay more. Her hair was up in a neat French twist, her face free of make up and impurities, her necklace of pearls, on lone from my over generous mother. Putting my glass down i reached across to place my lips over hers fleetingly, not wishing to fever the night before it had begun. But our brief union was torn when a deep, husky voice called out her name. 'Beau?' I looked up to see a tall man with a brown Nick Carter style fringe, smiling with twinkle eyes at Beau, hugging her briefly as she introduced me. 'Hyde this is Taylor, Taylor, Hyde,' she smiled as i nodded my head and shook his hand in the gentlemanly fashion as i protectively tugged Beau to sit down at the table once again. 'So Hyde, where's your lucky lady?' Tacky and more than likely sounding like i was double checking to make sure he wouldn't be a threat to me, but he smiled and turned around to touch the elbow of a girl with long copper hair, in a tight black dress, grabbing her attention as she turned round to face us. 'Alba, meet Beau and her boyfriend Taylor,'
Her smile dropped, my smile dropped and all eyes were on us to greet each other sweetly. It would never happen.
I was about to choke on my mouthful of champagne and was about to make a mental note to book me in for a hearing appointment, when i saw Taylor, looking smart and all buttons and bows, with a smiling lilac dressed tooth-fairy sat by his side. His shock was identical to mine, and eyes were settling on us both to be polite and say 'howdy'. 'We already know each other,' I mumbled, sensing a little demon of his past had just stolen his vocabulary. Hyde looked at me through questioning eyes as i thought it best to be the adult i am and act accordingly. Who the hell am i kidding? A whole evening sat next to Doctor Death and the Grim Tooth Fairy? 'I was engineer on their last album-well, long time no see Mr.Hanson,' my smile was fake to him, but it passed as acceptable. I found my hand extending out to shake his forcefully, my own self-control winning over Hyde and the tooth fairy, but not me. He smiled faintly as we all sat back down, two of us in harmony, tow of us in akwardsville. I saw in his eyes scenes of our passed conquests and our handshake was brief but good enough for the unknowing. Turning to Beau as i took my seat next to her and Hyde, i found it in my bank of humanity to wear a smile and get down to some womanly chit chat before the food arrived for me to choke on.
The chook on my plate had died unnecessarily, because i couldn't eat-my appetite had deserted me and so had the power of speech. But Hyde and Beau seemed to be nattering away happily, bringing Taylor and I in the applicable blanks (like unnecessary questions like, how did you guys meet and what is it you do?) The meat was swimming in broth as i downed my spoon and reached for my glass of fizzy and slurped at it like there was no tomorrow. He kept looking at me with the most nervous glances in the world, as if i was going to stand up on the table and declare we had a one-month stand. 'You can stop looking so constipated,' i whispered as Beau and Hyde talked about something over my head and outta my earshot. 'I thought you were in LA,' he replied, the tone of his voice reminding me any digs we were to have at each other, had to be as incognito as our stubborn attitudes could make them. 'I finished my contract, missed home so back i came,' i shrugged as i blotted my lips with my white napkin. 'What about lover boy?' he blinked as he finished the last of his champagne, continuing to push his chook round the plate like it was skating on a pond of brown gravy broth. For a second i though i registered jealousy, but then i thought his non-threatening tone was sending me up the wrong path. 'I met him working out there, he didn't want a long distance relationship so i asked him to move in, so that's why he's here, not that i should have to explain to you. I might very well ask the same about candy floss-Annie over here,' I snipped as i tipped my head in her direction. 'Keep your mouth shut Alba,' he warned with a knit brow, his hands wringing his napkin over and over in his hands. Looking round the table i spied 4 empty glasses, the perfect excuse. 'Baby, I'm going to go and get us more drinks, Taylor would you help me please,' Hyde smile and pecked me on the cheek as i left my seat, brushing past Taylor, indicating that maybe we should take our throttling conversation elsewhere.
Taking a sauna in a vat of hot lava was so appealing right now, childishly so but it still was. She stormed through the crowd of people, like Moses separating the sea whilst i trundled behind like sad puppy on a long leash. My bad feeling had become surprisingly true, the curse of Isaac's curiosity as to weather she was home or not, finally killing this cat. Meeting up with her at the make shift bar i shoved my hands in my pocket as she slumped against the wall, sighing loudly. 'So where did you pick her up? Connecticut? Jacksonville, or was she mail order?' she hissed with folded arms over her chest. 'To think you called me immature, Christ Alba, how was i to know that Beau knew your boyfriend? Didn't you hear Disney, it's a small fucking world after all?' i quipped as we tried in vain to keep our voices low. 'Too small for my liking...god Taylor i knew something like this would happen if i came home again,' she whined as she ran a hand through her hair, as i pulled my bow tie loose and opened the top button of my shirt for some much needed ventilation. 'Yes Alba, like i wanted to bump into you again-i mean it's been a year, i forgot all about you, just like i said and obviously, with your beloved Jolly Hyde Giant there, you'd forgotten about our mistakes,' Our words were heated, our expressions disgruntled as we both grappled for our words. 'You screwed me up in the head and you fucking know it,' Her eyes filled with hate and hurt as she pressed her face closer to mine, the warmth of her breath hitting my cheek in a totally different manor to any time before. 'You asked me to leave so i did, I wasn't the one who got attached,' i threw back as she looked up to the ceiling , laughing a little as i moved a little to let a throng of happy couples squeeze past us, drinks in hand. 'At least i want to try and talk about what a state we'd gotten ourselves into-i wish i'd never laid eyes on you but i did, we fought, we argued, we had meaningless sex that drove us both to the brink of insanity, and now we bump into each other after a whole year and you expect to be free of guilt about that? I think i have every right to be pissed about this,' I looked at her scorchingly, wishing for a bucket of cold water to throw over us both as i glanced back through the masses to spot Hyde and Beau still nattering away comfortably. Turning back to her i decided to choose my words carefully, and admit a little truth so that maybe she'd calm down.
'I'm not going to say i forgot what we did instantly, it screwed me up okay, is that what you want to hear? I kept thinking about what a mess i'd left, how it was so unlike me to do what i did but i didn't have any regrets because it showed you that you weren't the person you thought you were deep down. I met Beau by accident, i didn't even like her that way at first but she offered an ear when i wanted someone to talk too. Even right up until tonight i was worried if i'd meet you again and what it would be like, i wondered why i kept thinking about a situation that supposedly didn't matter a whole year ago-i tried to forget, i did forget but there were sometimes when i found it hard too. Being left alone with my thoughts sacred me, and don't stand there and tell me i ran away, because even when i did go, i thought about it,' I knew she listened too me, and believed everything i said, as she looked at me thoughtfully as i muzzled my hair franticly. 'What we did was wrong, stupid and a big mistake, i can read you like a book, you felt the same, but it made us stop and think about a few things,' She stood upright and turned to the bar to shout 4 glasses of sparkling champagne as i heard her reply wearily. 'Were just gonna have to get on with it because i've a feeling that we'll be bumping into each other a fair bit more,' she exclaimed as i took two of the glasses as we started to walk back to our table. 'You love him?' I blurted out, just before we got to the table, standing still in the crowd. She turned and walked back a little way and bit her lip nervously before nodding her head 'yes'. 'You love Beau?' she retorted as i smiled and looked over her shoulder to Beau tucking into her dessert sloppily as i looked back to Alba's curious expression. 'I care about her, it's too soon to say if i love her,' My honesty provoked a stunned look from her as we continued our walk back to the table. 'Well Mr.Hanson, this time were going to have to act like adults,' she huffed as i sidestepped an absent-minded strewn chair. 'We said that before,' i mumbled as i set Beau's drink down and took my seat again, all smiles and laughter for the benefit of my fragile mind.
The feel of Beau's comforting hand rubbing my thigh as Hyde struck up conversation with me didn't soothe like it would usually do, her lips kissing my neck sweetly as she finished feeding me a mouthful of sickly sweet cheesecake didn't caress like i wanted them too. Alba's nervous looks had softened but i knew she was feeling like i did when Hyde placed his lips on hers, only to find her edging away embarrassed, the excuse of company being played as her trump card. 'Hyde's offered to help me out with some demo-ing while i'm home baby, so i can get out of your hair whilst you work on new stuff,' Her voice was annoyingly happy, whereas my own didn't want to surface at all. But for the sake of burying the past in a makeshift grave, i turned all attention to her as i listened to her and Hyde ramble about how he had the time to help her demo and had a few contacts to send them too. I glanced back a few times to Alba, prodding her cheesecake in disgust as she let the conversation waft around her. She was feeling like me and wondering like me, at how close Hyde and Beau's friendship might have been at some point. But as i felt Beau's fingers fumble with my belt, i knew my distraction had come, as she excused us both for a dance on the floor, leaving Alba to find her distraction in Hyde.
'I think it would be really great if Beau could demo some stuff, plus i have the rest of this week to help her out, you don't mind baby?' he cooed as his arm around my shoulder shook me out of my thoughts. 'Oh yeah, i remember what it's like trying to get a hand up, so i think that's a good idea-she uh, seems nice,' I smiled, all to well knowing that i couldn't wait to blow this joint. Hyde smile and cupped my chin lightly with his hands, dragging me into a deep kiss, the kind that excites me to the core, and warms me up inside. 'Why don't we, say goodbye to Beau and Taylor and go laze in that hammock of yours?' he whispered saucily in my ear, before kissing my neck to convince me. Turning too him i tried to find my witty comeback but could find nothing, as i got a swift kick up the backside that i was here with Hyde, my life was with Hyde and he also held my heart. Taylor had the ability to break me over and over, make me loose my head and struggle to find it again, but this time he wouldn't-i'd just have to learn to have self control, and with Hyde in my life i couldn't wish for better guidance. 'You know, i think they'd understand if we took off.....anyways, if Beau wants to set up a demo date, she'll just have to call,' I lowered my tone and rested my forehead to his as he mimicked my sly and inviting look. His eyes were signalling his famous, 'come-to-bed' look, and who was i to refuse. With a peck on the lips we soon found ourselves directing a waiter to deliver Dr.Death and the Tooth Fairy a message we were leaving, and grabbing our things and making our way to the car-the excitement of an evening of personal fun racking us both.
But on the way home i saw Taylor's face, and the words he had said to me at the bar, and it made my stomach turn. I'd have to be the bigger person here, but if he had another chance? Would he break me again? I hope to god this was just a passing acquaintance for this time i wouldn't be able to put myself back together again.