I fell asleep with her facing me, her palms gently pressing against my bare chest as her light breaths tickled my skin as I held her tightly in our unified slumber. I watched her eyes shut as she drifted off into a world of fairytale and soon started to recollect memories of the evenings events, the beaming smiled that snowballed into rip roaring laughter, the straight forward banter between us escalating into a deep conversation, reaching into each others minds as we tried to resurrect our delicate relationship. Perseverance had paid off, for as much as Zac thought I was making excuses for unacceptable behaviour because I loved her, I knew the real reason and I refused to abandon my post in this relationship just because of a glitch of personal weakness. It would take more than one meal and more than one evening of stability between us to make our train click onto perfect tracks, but for now I was contented to feel her within my hold, her evident hurt at her actions and behaviour weighing on her mind to the point I could see straight through to her internal anger, as I reached for the fire extinguisher. I could go without everything else in this life, just as long as I could feel her close to me and listen to her soft breathing, swirls of �I love you�s� dancing around in my mind.

I knew by the time I woke in the morning, she�d no long be in my arms, the lure of her call back providing her no doubt, with a way to early wake up call as she tried to psych herself up for reaching for yet another potential dream maker. I rolled over in the crumpling sheets, running a hand over my grumbling stomach as I looked over to her pillow to see a memo note resting on top of it.

Smiling to myself as I set the note down on my night stand, I pulled myself out of bed, reaching for some underwear as I padded through to my office to find the cordless I�d discarded there last night after calling the restaurant. Before doing so I outstretched and reached over to pull the blinds open, squinting automatically as the sunshine of the snowy morning blinded me temporarily. As I lent my gaze to the outstanding mid-morning scene the shrill ringing on the phone broke through my bubble of pure silence as I jumped a little nerved. Grabbing the phone I clicked it on and turned back to look out over the city, running a hand through my flattened curls as I awaited response.

�Can I please speak to Tea Deacon?� the gruffness of the male callers voice surprised me a little as I glanced over at the caller ID, coming up as an unknown number. We had private screening but some idiots managed to slip through the net, I was praying to god my morning wasn�t starting with a psychotic call.

�I�m afraid she�s unavailable right now, may I ask who�s calling?� I felt like her personal sectary as I spied a pen and drew the telephone pad close to the edge of the desk as I awaited information on the caller.

�This is Dannan, she�ll know who I am, I was just wishing to inform her that a friend of hers gave me something to give to her, just have her call me okay?� He sounded anxious and itching to get off the phone with me, stuttering and stammering all over the place. I narrowed my gaze as I scribbled down the information and tossed the pen across my desk when I�d finished.

�I�ll make sure she gets the�..,� I didn�t have anytime to finish my message for the droning dial tone soon cut through my mind as I pulled the phone away from my ear and looked at it oddly as I switched it off, trying not to read too much into the weirdness of the phone call I had just partaken in. I�d never heard of this Dannan, then again Tea knows so many people we have a pile of address books and organizers on the bookcase in the living room so maybe that�s why. Pressing speed dial I immediately called Taylor as I flopped down in my comfortable chair at my desk, resting my feet up on the desk as I waited for my bucket head of a younger brother to pick up his phone.

I�d spent the night at Zac�s after a feuding row with my girlfriend, apparently my chauvinistic attitude I showed her before she returned back to NY to work was more than she cared to handle, and she decided she�d give me a decent payback by laying into me in the middle of a crowded aircraft gate where the world and his wife seem to be getting on that one single flight to NYC. I refrained from returning home, not willing to sit staring at my phone, waiting for her call or sitting in front of the computer screen like a halfwit, waiting for her SN to show up. But when I arrived at Zac�s I was greeted with a hysterical sibling, to the point where I found him sitting on his sofa just holding his head in his hands, not saying or doing anything, he just sat there hunched over in the dark doing� nothing. It scared me a little that he didn�t even flinch when I sat in front of him, when I tried to tap into his thoughts like I used too. It frightened me for two reasons, one was the fact I regarded our relationship to be one of confidence and trust, that we could tell each other anything and it scared me secondly because Zac was more of a rock than this whole family put together and here he sat, incoherent and spaced like there were states between us when really there were only a few inches.

After leaving him to his own devices, I went into his room to watch some television when I saw him standing in the doorway, static, just staring at me. Flipping the TV off I walked over to him, as he finally looked at me, shocked and scared.

�She hits him and he lets her do it,�

I had no idea what he was babbling about, my furrowed facial expression caused him to sigh, rolling his eyes in frustration that I was telepathic enough to understand his jargon. �Tea hits Isaac, that bruising on his face, she did it, she�s hit his shoulder causing it to go black and blue and last week I had him round here in shock with a huge gash across one side of his forehead, she comes round to apologize and he welcomes her back with open arms,� he rambled, his eyes darting around points of the room as I tried to take in what he was saying to me, trying to understand it as best as I could considering how random it sounded. �Zac your going to have to start from the beginning because I�m not following, Tea hits Isaac? Come on, that�s a little far fetched even for you Zac,� I didn�t know what to think as he grabbed my arm and pushed me to sit back at the end of his bed as I watched him pacing, starting right from the beginning for my benefit.

As he went on, the more shock set into me and the more I felt so disconnected, so cut out of Isaac�s life that I finally realized It was time to start paying attention to my elder brother.

Taylor told me to meet him at Dexy�s, a middle of the road food joint on the outskirts of town saying that he needed to talk to me about some of the new material we�d been writing. I�d been here for a few minutes and I�d ordered us both drinks as I waited to find a free booth for us to take up residence in. In finding a secluded table near the back of the dining area I set the drinks down and waited for his arrival. It wasn�t long before I noticed his stalking form approving the booth, hands snuggled deep inside his winter coat, the thick clump of his shoes clicking densely on the wooden flooring of the establishment. �Hey Taylor, I got you a drink,� I politely greeted as he sat opposite me, not even bothering to take his hands out of his coat pockets, let alone giving me a welcoming look. �I want answers and I want them now,� he barked, his petite features turning a fevered shade of red as he looked at me through narrowed eyes. �Taylor what the..,� I enquired before he pulled his hands out of his coat pocket quickly flying up to the band aid covering my head, ripping it off roughly causing my skin to sting and smart. �That, explain it Isaac. Give me a proper explanation for that bruising on your face the other week and tell me the fuck why you never talk to me anymore,� he stared at my face, his eyes fixated on the closing gash over my temple. Sighing I slumped back in the cushioned back of the booth looking back at my fuming brother desperately grappling at the right explanation to give him, if I could give him on he�d accept that is.

�Me and Tea had a few arguments, things were said, hands were hitting, it�s what�s called a rough patch Taylor,� I didn�t mean to sound so sarcastic, so dry towards him but I was starting to get just a little sick of having to explain my actions and the actions that emit from my relationship. �She�s got one hell of a left hook then, hum?� he quipped back, matching my dry comment with a rough stab that caused me to already feel defeated. �Isaac I don�t give a fuck how much you love her but from what I�ve seen stress does not justify throwing china at your boyfriend when he�s only trying to show concern. Stress of a career shouldn�t result in lashing out at anybody! Fuck, you just let her throw a punch and then you tell her it�s okay, that you still love her and your not going anywhere? Your fucked in the head, you really really are,� Taylor was mock laughing at me now as he shook his head in disbelief and I just sat there and took it. My head was pounding, my brain was crammed full of too many people�s views and not enough of my own and I didn�t know how long I could take a third party interfering with something they knew jack shit about. You can�t apply text book lines to this situation because you have to be in it to understand, how many times will I have to say that? �I suppose you talked to Zac then,� I mumbled as Taylor pushed his drink out the way and leaned forward on the battered table, closer too me. �Talk to him? Isaac he�s so fucked up about YOUR problems! When I was there last night it took him 3 hours to acknowledge his presence! It just keeps going round and round in his head why his older brother, who he respects so much for his strength and integrity and his beliefs, would let himself get caught up in such shit!� he exclaimed, his expression changing to that of disbelief, that haunting mock laughter returning as he raised his hands to me, waving them around manically.

�You have no clue Taylor, THIS is why were not as close anymore, because you don�t listen to who you need to listen to, you just select sources to get your information! I�m not asking Zac to take this upon him, he and you both have to understand this is my relationship, I have my own reasons and I have my own understanding of it-this is a glitch me and Tea have hit, not you and Zac so don�t think sticking your few words in is going to make me change my mind. You really think if this were you I�d be like this to you? I�d like to see you try and answer that one,� I�d had enough and I was snapping nicely, but this wasn�t what I wanted. I just wanted someone to trust my judgement, they only want to see the negative of this, not the positive that is, it was a glitch that can be fixed between us. �I�m not getting into that Isaac, all I know that Zac is sat in his apartment trying to find justification for all this, why you can welcome her back into your arms after she�s bloodied you and bruised you and taken you for a stress bag for her to hit out at when it doesn�t understand her stress in the way she wants it too,� I figured it would be easier to let him say his piece than for me to get up and storm out childishly, if it would make him feel better knowing he said it, who am I to stop him? �Is there any justification for domestic violence? Isaac please, drug addiction doesn�t just stop, domestics don�t just fade out like they were last seasons collection, once it�s in a system it takes more than a few shrinks and a few anger management courses to straighten out the kinks. It�ll never be the same now so why let yourself hold onto a dying dream?�

It�s so funny how perceptions of one situation can differ in extremity, and that was defiantly the case here. I could hear the plea in his voice and I had to stop myself from telling him to get out of my face, to crawl back to his prissy little trinket of classical womanisum and get the hell away from me until he could learn to understand it�s my life and I live it my way by my morals and ethics. Before I could tell him to his face that I didn�t need this from my family, all I wanted was for them to understand my choices, as impossible as that would be right now, my cell phone rang in my pocket, causing a perfect distraction, putting a pause on the tension between us. Without hesitation I answered the call, blessing god for his awesome pshycic timing once again.

�Isaac! I GOT IT! I GOT IT!!� I heard Tea�s exctatic holler boom through the phone causing me to wince a little at the volume. Only after I�d adjusted my hearing did it what she was saying sink in.

�You got the part? Tea that�s awesome! Baby I�m so pleased for you,� I smiled as I caught Taylor shaking his head in frustration and annoyance as I turned a little to the side of the booth to talk a little more softer.

�God Isaac, it�s happening it�s really going to be happening! Baby we�ll have to talk more when I get home I have to go back in there so I�ll be home later,I�m taking you out on the town!� there was no denying she was brimming over with relief, happiness and about every happy emotion under the sun. In a way I felt some doubt slide of my shoulders the instant I heard her jubilant voice, doubt that things would be smooth from now on. Now I knew that her dream was at the start of it�s yellow brick road we could start to love each other properly, like it used to be.

�Okay Tea, remember I love you okay? Oh and a guy called Dannan for you, he said you�d know what it�s about,� suddenly the gruff voice of the strange man from the phone call this morning cut through my blurred thought.

�Oh, right thanks sweetie, God I�m soo excited, but I better go�bye you,�

Turning back to Taylor as I put my cell back in my pocket I noted the stoic look he was emitting. �Taylor, just let e live my life my way okay? You and Zac don�t need to be justifying a situation that is only fit for me and Tea, okay? Now if you don�t mind I have to go and order flowers for my girlfriend and concentrate on supporting her new career,� I cleared my throat as I shuffled out of the booth, leaving Taylor looking up at me bemused and a little hurt. �Isaac�..,� he started before I shook my head at him to stop his words before stuffing my hands in my pockets and walking out of Dexy�s to my car, ready to greet my girlfriend and her new dream hand in hand, with my arms wide open. I�d do whatever it takes to be with her and if that meant going against my brothers, then so be it.