Basildon: OR SOMETIMES REFERRED TO AS "BAS" BY THE ESSEX FOLK I live in Basildon and it pisses me off so much there is nothing here unless you count young underaged teenagers with children. And it seems that Basildon familys will only shout at their children when they are out shopping in Basildon!!Or there is a family of about 9 children ages ranging from 1month old to 17 years old which enforces the question WHY??? It sucks here theres no alternative stuff to do except shout at the trendies which sucks anyway because us "freaks" are grossly outnumbered!

Billericay: Humm… if you remember bianca from eastenders when she used to say RICCCAYYY really essex then that’s how the essex folk pronounce biliericay!!! Its not so bad here actually because there is one music shop, but it sometimes stocks bootlegs and rare vinyl if you ask and are extremely lucky!!! Most of the Billericay trendie folk wouldn’t fight back if their reebok classic, kappa wearing butts can help it!!! The parks crap but you do tend to get plenty of skateboards and theres a few known drug dealers who hang down there too!!!

Chelmsford: Okay I thought this was so cool but I have had so many of my alternative friends beaten up in Chelmsford I’m beginning to doubt its so cool!! It has skateboard/skater ramps and has a really good band shirt stall at the market which does rock hard!!! It also has the Army & Navy which my band has played !!! Also has the y-club which is a good alternative place to go if your 12 and still think under-age drinking is cool. (you won’t see me= the college student, hanging down there!) They are all doom bunnys seeking attention, but then they are goig through puberty at 12 so they would have lots of hormaons but then i can't remember i am at college!!! oh weel maybe all the doom bunnys will kill themselves like they should instead of making tiny scratch marks on their bodies , telling everyone and getting sympahy!! YOU COULD ALWAYS GO TO THE Y-CLUB FOR A CHEAP LAUGH CAUSE EVERYONE THERE ARE SO SAD and you'll know the ringladers because as soon as you get in there , there will be someone moaning or crying or telling everyone their "depressed" stories :( NOT!!! :D LOL.

Southend: Is well cool. NO-ONE has been beaten up there yet that I know of it has 3 sex shops that I know of which includes an anne summers!!! There is a jelly mumbos which is a skateboard shop I think there is a ramp in Southend but I am not sure!! There is also many clubs for older teenager over 18’s and over 21’s theres Rage and chinnerys which are cool!!! But i must say if you are alternative and are seen on the benches outside WHSmith your status will be seriously ruined tut tut noone cool sits on those benches (thats where i'll be at lunch when i am at college keep out an eye and get my autograph heee hee).Note the amount of pigeons in the town and watch out for flying shite!! but amazingly none of my friends have been shat on (NOT YET ANYWAY!)There is the cursal estate with alcoholic parents with their cigarettes who send their children away to shop for them!!!

Braintree: UGH… everyone here is disfigured!! Maybe a nuclear bomb went off?? Hiroshima number two!!! The people of Braintree do look weird they all have disfigured heads… maybe theres something in the water just never go there!!!

Vange: Near Basildon but it’s the crappy part!! You can imagine people going missing in vange and turning up with their head on a spike outside the police station at 2am its scary stuff in vange!! I’d never go it alone! The graffiti explains it all it reminds me of an Indian shanty town except theres no Indians which brings me to the next point Essex rudeboys are racist and nasty telling sexist and racist jokes and laughing its enough to make you angry and to have a website dedicated to it!! ??I DID THAT

Wickford: Lot of people I know from wickford get lots of abuse about homosexuality There is a record shop called Adrians its good for getting rare and one off’s like promos pictures disks etc so go there its cool. But wickford lacks a lot of things you’d expect from a town. The high amount of graffiti makes lucky you didn’t bring a map or guidebook!!! Humm ... also theres a gang called the wickford massive... more like massive pricks or school dropouts i bet they didn't even pass their highschool fill out form

Leigh-On-Sea: Is the "posh" peoples area of Essex, well so they would like to think!. It is an immensely boring town full of alcoholics! The houses are old posh Victorian houses converted into dingy flats, with those shabby Lacey curtains in the windows and overgrown weed gardens! It has a "highstreet" called the Broadway, where the traders one group of bigoted opionionists called the leigh traders association- formed for Dave the butcher, who has been featured on GMTV, fighting to save the pound £££! Saying he will go to prison for his country (like the country's worth going to prison for!) He has since retired. Old Leigh is full of inbred fishmongers and consists of pubs - Ye olde Smack inn, the peterboat, the ship and the crooked bilett. Nice pubs full of old alcoholics and perverts, Who compare their sizes!! (of what we have yet to find ;))

South woodham Ferres: most people think it sucks, so do i (!). It's not so bad if ur an alternative person tho...the population of youths r skate boarders, or the 'church wallers'! Hmmm, u wont get stones/bottles/petrol bombs etc chucked at u for being slightly 'different',livin in woodham, like u do in wickford! There is a pikey half pike... which is about a metre wide...so skateboarder's residence is on/around the church! There is 'Asda' and about 3 other shops