Insatiable (3/5)
By Rin
Summary: Drew comes to a decision in his life. Can Jeff take the steps necessary to rectify it?
Disclaimer: I do not know any of the members of 98°. I do not know their sexual orientation or preferences and what not. This is purely a work of fiction and any relation to real persons of events takes place in my demented little mind. ;)
Walking into the kitchen, Jeff sat at one of the stools around the cooking island.
The light above the stove was on, shedding a soft indirect light around the
room. Spanning the room with his eyes, his vision blurring with unshed tears,
Jeff let memories wash over him.
He remembered the two of them picking out the appliances; Jeff arguing lightly that he didn’t want stainless steel, it would make the kitchen seem too cold. Glancing at the stove, he remembered making breakfast for Drew the morning after their first night in the house. Drew had still been asleep when he had gone upstairs to wake him. They had never gotten to the breakfast he had made; instead they had spent the morning making love, slow and casually.
That was all it took. The tears came with a vengeance now. Cradling his head in his hands, Jeff cried. Sobs racked his frame, making his whole body shake. He was crying like someone who just realized they had truly lost the other half of their soul.
He felt two hands press against his shoulders and quickly raised his head. “Drew…?” He stopped when he saw that Jess and Nick were standing there, both with concern covering their faces. Seeing the two of them brought the grief to the surface again. Leaning into Jess, he allowed her to pull him closer as Nick wrapped his arms around both of them, standing the in dim light, trying to comfort their friend.
A short while later, Jeff sat back and scrubbed at his face vigorously with both palms. Sighing loudly, he looked up at his friends. “Thanks,” he mumbled, smiling softly. “What are you two doing here?”
“Well, we came over to see if you and Drew wanted to go to dinner with us..,” Jess said, trailing off. She seemed a bit lost for words. “Jeff, what’s happened?”
“Drew left me tonight.” Jeff stood up and walked around the island and pulling open the fridge. Pulling out two beers, he tossed one to Nick and set the other one on the counter next to him. Leaning back in, he came out with a Diet Pepsi for Jess. Smiling at her, he handed it across the counter and turned back to grab his beer.
Nick caught the beer smoothly and held it staring at Jeff. “What? Drew left? Why?”
Jess walked over to the small table and chair across the room and sat down at the table, taking Jeff by the arm and seating him across from her. “Why did he leave? Did the two of you have a fight?”
“Not that I know of. I came home and found him upstairs in the bedroom. He was staring out at the rain, crying when I walked in. Well, he had been crying anyway. He wasn’t when I saw him. I asked him what was wrong and he told me that he knew I didn’t love him anymore.” Jeff finished the last part in a whisper. He seemed almost frightened to speak the words aloud. He thought that maybe if he didn’t they wouldn’t be true.
“Where did he get that from?” Jeff looked up as Nick spoke, breaking into the strained silence of the room. “What happened to make him think this?”
“I have no idea. He mentioned that I hadn’t spent much time at home and that we hardly talk anymore.” Looking away, Jeff stood up and walked out towards the front of the house. Nick and Jess stood and followed him into the living room. Jeff sat down on the sofa and stared at the coffee table in front of him. Jess and Nick took a spot on either side, both leaning in to lend whatever support they could.
They sat quietly for a few moments before Jess broke the silence. “Jeff, I know you probably don’t want to answer this, but I am going to ask anyway.”
Jeff looked over at her, a bit of fear and apprehension on his face. “Okay…what do you mean?”
“Well, umm, when was the last time you and Drew, well, were intimate?”
“Jess!” Nick couldn’t believe what Jess had just asked. Jeff didn’t seem to mind though; he wrinkled his brow in thought as he sat there. Jess shot Nick a look that told him she knew what she was doing and looked back at Jeff.
“Well, now that you mention it, it has been a while.” Jeff blew a breath out in a rush. Glancing over at Nick, he blushed and smiled slightly. “Sorry. I know that is something that you probably didn’t want to hear.”
“Well, yeah.” Nick stood up. “I’m going to go see if I can track down my brother and see if I can find out his side.” Nick held his hands up to ward off the threats he knew were coming. “At least I might be able to get through to Drew and find out what he thinks. I won’t do anything to upset him. I promise.”
“All right, thanks man.” Jeff stood up and gave Nick a quick hug and went to show him to the door.
“I know the way out. You sit down and talk to Jess. She can do these better than I can. Go have your girl talk.” Nick laughed as Jeff launched a pillow at him and called him an ass. Jess snickered and winked at him. Nick walked out the door and left Jess and Jeff alone in the living room, talking softly.
“Jeff, I want you to listen to me for a sec, ok?” Jess was looking at him. Her face was filled with concern.
“Ok…what?”
“Think about what Drew told you when he left. What did he tell you?”
“Well, he told me that he needed to ‘get out for a while’ whatever that means.” Jeff leaned forward on the couch, resting his head in his hands. “He told me that he knew I didn’t love him the way I used to. What did he mean by that?”
Jess could tell that Jeff was getting angry now. She watched him stand up and quickly begin pacing the floor. “I don’t understand him! I gave him everything! Goddammit!” Yelling, he swept a picture frame off the mantle and flung it across the room, where it shattered against the wall. Looking over, Jess could see that it was a picture of the two of them at the small commitment ceremony they had performed a few years back.
In the picture, the two men were smiling, happy. The frame was a broken mess of metal and glass now. “I don’t know what to do.” Jeff’s whispered plea brought her back to the moment. Starting slightly, she saw Jeff sitting on the floor be the window, tears coursing down his cheeks again. Walking over to him, Jess laid a tentative hand on his shoulder.
Jumping at her touch, Jeff quickly looked away, seeming embarrassed by his outburst, he mumbled an apology. “I’m sorry Jess. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to lose him. Hell, I don’t know what I want anymore.”
“Jeff, honey, listen to me. Please?”
Kneeling on the floor in front of him, she took his face in her hands and made their eyes meet. Jeff blinked and tried to look away. “No, Jeff look at me, please. You said that Drew told you that he knew you didn’t love him the same way anymore. Can you think of anything that might have happened that would make him think this?”
“No, I don’t know what he means. That’s what’s so frustrating. Just last week he was talking about wanting to adopt. I told him that I didn’t want more kids. I already have Alyssa, I’m not sure if I want more children.”
“Well, I can see your point but, I can also see Drew’s. You do have Alyssa, but she lives with her mother. Drew doesn’t have any children. He’s always wanted kids.”
“He knows that Alyssa loves him.” Jeff was looking at Jess, confusion on his face.
“Yes, he knows that. It’s just that…well he knows that she isn’t ‘his’ daughter though. He wants children that you and he can call both of yours. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
“Yeah. I guess I never thought of it that way.” Jeff sighed and walked back over to the couch. Reaching out to the coffee table in front of him, he picked up a green photo album. Opening the front his smiled softly as Drew grinned back at him, wearing a pair of Mickey Mouse ears.
Jeff remembered buying
those and placing it on Drew’s head immediately. Drew had grinned and sauntered
out of the store, leaving a perturbed Jeff behind. “What’s wrong, Sugar?”
Jeff turned at the deep voice and saw Justin standing there grinning at him.
“Not the reaction you expected?”
”Not really. I thought I might get a rise out of him. Guess not.” Jeff walked
out of the store, his shoulders slumped slightly. Justin watched him go, puzzled
over Jeff’s mood.
Picking up his purchase, Justin turned toward the door as he saw Jeff jump to the side, as his head was soaked with a cup of water. Hearing Jeff’s shocked outcry, he walked to the door and saw Drew standing there, an empty cup in his hand, the Mickey ears still on his head, laughing with his brother.
“Drew! What the hell are you doing?” Jeff was wiping the excess water from his short hair, glaring at the two laughing brothers. Both of the started laughing harder at the look on Jeff’s face.
“Well, I figured if I have to run around with these on all day,” Drew said, pointing at the hat. “Then you can walk around next to me looking a bit damp.” Drew finished the last part with a snicker that faded quickly as Jeff launched himself at him. Turning quickly, Drew took off at a run.
He could hear Jeff’s rapid footsteps behind him, gaining quickly. “You can run Sprout! But you can’t run forever!”
Quickly turning a corner, Drew barely managed to avoid Donald Duck and Goofy walking around, waving at people. Quickly dashing to the left, he avoided to costumed pair and started running faster. He heard a commotion and glanced back over his shoulder, seeing Jeff and the two Disney characters tangled in a mass of moving parts.
Laughing, he headed for the hotel, located just down the street. Entering the lobby, Drew slowed to a quick walk, heading for his room. Once there, he sat down and let laughter over take him quickly. It wasn’t before long he heard pounding on his door.
“Drew! I know you’re in there! Come out here!” Jeff sounded pissed. Reaching the door, Drew pulled it open and jumped back as Jeff pounced on him.
“Ahh!! Jeff, it was a
joke!”
“Yeah? Well I’ll show you a joke!” Jeff jumped Drew, throwing them both to the floor, where a wrestling match between the two quickly ensued. Drew was smaller than Jeff’s immense, tightly muscled frame, so he was able to scramble quickly. It didn’t last long though; Jeff was immediately on top of him on the floor, looking down at him. Drew looked up and caught his breath.
Jeff’s face was flushed with the exertion of the run, and the short wrestling match. There were a few droplets of water still leaking from his hair, running down his face to pool at the bottom of his jaw. Looking into Jeff’s eyes, he saw them glimmer with amusement and something else.
Pulling his head back as Jeff leaned down, he gasped in shock as Jeff’s lips closed over his in a soft kiss. He whimpered softly as Jeff retreated, or at least tried to. Drew quickly reached up and grabbed Jeff by his short hair and pulled him back down, devouring his lips instantly.
After what seemed like forever, the two men pulled apart. Panting, Drew looked at Jeff, taking in his features. His lips, now swollen and slightly bruised from Drew’s onslaught, were parted in a soft smile. He was flushed again, but not from the wrestling this time.
Then, at that moment, Drew caught Jeff’s gaze. As their eyes locked, he looked at Jeff, realizing that he had never seen this look in Jeff’s eyes. Jeff was watching him with the same intensity a predator watches it’s cornered prey.
“Jeff?” Drew whispered his name softly, not wanting to break the silence.
Shaking his head softly, Jeff leaned closer to Drew, closing the small gap quickly. He stopped just shy of their lips, his eyes never leaving Drew’s. “Shhh, don’t say anything. Just go with it.” Drew nodded as Jeff closed the rest of the gap and kissed his slowly and deeply.
Neither of them noticed Nick closing the door softly and walking away shaking his head. “It’s about time they did that. I was getting tired of listening to the two of the complain about it.”
Justin laughed as he and Nick climbed onto the elevator and headed back out into the park.
Jeff was brought back to the present by the sound of the phone ringing. Looking up, he saw Jess reach out and pick it up from the table next to the couch. “Hello? Oh, well, this isn’t really a good time. Can he call you back?”
Jeff watched Jess as she talked softly into the phone, pausing to let the caller respond. “Oh, you’re here in town? That’s great! Congratulations! I’ll tell them. Thanks. Bye.”
Hanging up the phone, Jess turned back to Jeff and smiled. “That was Lance, he and Justin are in town for a few days and want to get together.” She paused, not really sure where to go with the conversation.
“Cool.” Jeff nodded as he placed the photo album back onto the table. Exhaling loudly, he stood up and headed for the kitchen. “Come on Jess, I’ll fix you something to eat. I don’t know about you, but I’m hungry.”
Laughing, Jess stood and followed him into the kitchen. “Jeff, you never cease to amaze me. One minute you’re crying and the next, you’re eating. Men, I doubt I’ll ever understand how you work.” Shaking her head, she followed him into the kitchen.
*&*&*&*&*&*
Opening the fridge, Jeff pulled out some vegetables and some chicken. Jess sat down that the island to watch him cook, as he started talking. “Well, I’ve realized something.” Putting down the food, he pulled a wok down from one of the hooks over the island and drizzled some oil into it, placing it onto a waiting burner. “I love Drew. Pure and simple.” He pulled out a knife and went to work carving the vegetables into strips. “I am going to tell him that and he isn’t going to run away this time. I am going to get him back. No matter what.”
Jess smiled as she watched him work around the kitchen. She was glad that Jeff had decided not to just let Drew go. While she was happy for him, she couldn’t help feeling that something wasn’t quite right yet…