Timeline: Takes place Senior year, doesn't really matter when. Pacey and Joey never got together in Season three, even though there was something significant between them.
"...and so, what the author is trying to say is that if he
really wanted to eat oysters, he would." The girl paused, twirling a strand of hair around her index finger, "but he doesn't, so he wont!" Tara finished
happily, popping her wad of gum back into her mouth. She returned to
her seat behind Pacey, winking at Grant as she passed his desk.
Pacey quickly shot a worried glance at the clock above the
doorway as
Mrs. Lory, their English teacher, asked for volunteers. Only ten
minutes
left until lunch. Only time enough for one more presentation. "Please,
please, please, please, not me." He whispered under his breath.
The Drama quarter of English 7, the bane of all seniors. The
teachers
were required to teach drama for two months, in leu of an actual drama
class. This year their new English teacher, Mrs. Lory, was way to
enthusiastic about it. For the most part Pacey didn't mind, acting was
always more interesting than reading from a book. He found himself to
be
much more comfortable slipping into someone else's skin than in his
own. Of
course, teachers always find a way of ruining things, and Mrs. Lory was
no
exception. She came up with the most perverse assignments... like this
one.
She called it Oral Interpretation. Basically, what they did was
choose a poem, read it out loud, and discuss what you think it means.
She
claimed it combined English and Drama, and that the class should be
able to
feel the meaning behind the poem if you put emotion into the words. It
sounded like a load of crap, and the class told Mrs. Lory as much.
Still she
enforced it, so here he was, nervous as hell, because he'd done
something so
out of character.
Most of the class had chosen either easy or funny poems, with
little
or no depth. Some of the girls had chosen romantic ones, and a few,
like
Joey, had chosen truly beautiful pieces of poetry. Pacey could still
hear
her voice ringing in his ears. Her words, spoken softly, but clearly
and had
held him enraptured as he watched her. Head bent over the podium, her
hands
gripping it's sides tightly as she opened her heart to the classroom of
students. Most hadn't been listening closely enough to hear her voice
grow
thick with unshed tears for a mother five years dead. He, of course,
had.
She hadn't lifted her eyes from the paper until she had finished
reading, they immediately sought his own. He'd smiled sadly at her,
sharing
her sorrow and conveying his pride at her courage. Mrs. Lory
interrupted
their silent exchange, and Joey's gaze fell shyly back to the podium.
Pacey
never took his eyes off her as the class discussed her poem and she
shared
her own thoughts, guarded, of course. She never once mentioned her
mother.
Ten minutes now, and only three students left to go. He prayed
Mrs.
Lory would choose one of the others. He'd taken a different route with
this
assignment, had deviated from the norm. Against his better judgement he
hadn't chosen a comedic poem, that's what they were all expecting,
something
to make them laugh. Not something close to his heart.
That's what this poem was, close to his heart. Very close.
Reading
over the short poem, he felt like a fool. He'd give anything to change
his
mind, choose something different. And if he made it through the next
ten
minutes without making an appearance at the podium, that's exactly what
he'd
do. Straight to the library to find something fun to read, something
they'd
expect. Maybe something to do with monkies.
"Pacey Witter, why don't you go?" Mrs. Lory asked, like so many
other
teachers, phrasing the words like a question, meaning them as a
command.
The class perked up as he made his way up the isle, anticipating
a
small reprieve from the redundancy of the other poems. He surveyed the
room,
twenty-three faces looking expectantly up at him. He really saw only
one...
Joey's. Her eye's warm, a tiny slightly amused smile across her face,
her
eyebrows drawn together in confusion. She must have sensed his
nervousness,
and it worried her. He was never nervous in front of the class. He was
in
his element when the center of attention. But this time something was
off,
and she knew it.
Placing the paper on the podium, he quickly swiped his sweaty
hands
across the front of his jeans and cleared his throat of the growing
lump. "A
Kiss-" he had trouble making his voice cooperate. He tried again,
louder
this time. "A Kiss On the Head, By Marina Tsvetayeva."
"A kiss on the head wipes away misery," he began, pausing before
he
continued. "I kiss your head."
His deep voice caressed the words, breathing life into them. "A
kiss
on the eyes takes away sleeplessness... I kiss your eyes."
Involuntarily his eyes lifted to meet Joey's, and stayed there,
he
continued on by memory. "A kiss on the lips quenches the deepest
thirst... I
kiss your lips." His voice grew husky.
His tempo slowed his voice grew shallow and thick with emotion,
"A
kiss on the head wipes away memory." He paused at length, still lost in
the
brown depths of Joey's eyes. "I kiss your head." He finished, his voice
just
above a whisper.
"Thank you, Pacey." Mrs. Lory said smiling, "Okay, class, what
was
the meaning behind Pacey's poem?" Pacey mentally shook himself from the
small trance he had fallen into. Feeling a small blush climb up his
neck, he
immediately looked away from Joey and back to the teacher.
"It's about the guy who likes kissin'." Grant spoke up, "Head,
lips,
eyes, feet... he don't care." He gave his friend a high-five and smiled
cockily.
"Is that what you think Pacey was trying to get across?" Mrs.
Lory
asked the rest of the group thoughtfully, "Think about his inflections,
the
expressions on his face as he spoke..." Pacey inwardly winced, God, he
could
only imagine the lovesick expression on his face. "Dannie?"
The quiet girl in the front of the room spoke up, "I think the
poem
is about love," she said. "The girl, you did say it was by a woman,
right?"
He nodded, "Well, It's about this girl who has feelings for this guy,
but
she doesn't want anyone to know, so she takes his memory."
Mrs. Lory nodded satisfied by that analysis, "Anyone else?" She
asked
absently as she began to scribble on her clipboard. "Okay, then, Pacey,
share with us your interpreta- Joey?" She noticed the brunettes hand
raises
slightly away from her body.
From the moment he had begun, Joey Potter had felt a growing
sickness
in the pit of her stomach. His words had seeped down into the very
deepest
corners of her heart. It made her sick inside, the words, spoken so
beautifully, shattering old wounds and ripping open scars. "I think
it's
about love." She spoke softly, gently, "Unrequited love."
Stunned, Pacey's eyes lifted to meet hers. "This person, man or
woman, it doesn't really matter. This person is in love so deeply that
they
would do anything for the love of their life. Take away their
sleeplessness
and their thirst, just because he loves her." Joey was so caught up in
her
explanation, directed solely at the one person in the front of the
room, she
didn't notice her slip of the tongue. "And the last line... even though
he's
in love, he wipes away her memory because he knows that's not what she
needs. So he walks away from her and she never knows all the love he
had for
her. That he was the one who loved her enough to take away her pain and
bring her peace at the expense of his own." She finished, her eyes
trained
on him. gauging his reaction. Pacey was shocked and enthralled,
listening to
her describe exactly what was in his heart. "He was in love."
"Very astute, Joey. Excellent." Mrs. Lory interrupted the
moment.
"Pacey?"
His mouth had long since gone dry at her words. "I-" he worked
past
the cottonmouth and directed his wide-eyed gaze away from Joey. He knew
he
wouldn't be able to speak with her eyes devouring his. "Yeah, um,
pretty
much what she said. I think this person's in love, deeply enough to
step
away because that's what's best for the other person." He spoke with
quiet
conviction. "He loves her, aware from the very beginning that he'll
have to
step away at the end. But he goes to her out of love and takes care of
her
and takes away her memory of it because he knows that if she does
remember
it'll only bring her heartache. Out of love for her, he wont let her
experience that heartbreak, he saves her from it. Sacrificing his
heart, for
her own." Pacey carefully kept his eyes away from hers during his small
speech, opting to look at the poster of Shakespeare in the back of the
room.
There were few students still listening by this point, most had
begun
to pack their things up in anticipation of the lunch bell. Mrs. Lory
was
quietly scribbling away on her score sheets. Joey was still in her
seat,
unmoving, an undecipherable expression on her face.
The students glared at the clock, minutes still remained before
the
bell would sound releasing them. Joey's hand shot up, as Pacey began to
make
his way back to the seat. He stopped. "Yeah?", he choked out.
"What if she didn't want to forget?" she asked impetuously.
Pacey shook his head, "But she did," he sputtered, unprepared
for
where this line of questioning was leading. "If she wanted to remember,
she
would have stopped him from 'wiping away' her memory," he quoted.
"What if this guy was so blinded by love, that he thought he was
doing what was best for her, but not what she wanted?" Joey countered.
"If she had wanted him, she would have done something about it."
Pacey answered sadly, no hint of malice in his voice. "Told him,
thanked him
for 'taking away her misery' or 'quenching her thirst'." His voice was
tinged with pain. "He loved her enough to let her go."
The dismissal bell went by unnoticed by all in the classroom.
The
students, and even Mrs. Lory, knew that somewhere along the line, the
topic
of the discussion had moved from the poem to something else entirely.
Joey sat forward in her seat, moving her hands in emphasis,
"What if
she was confused by this new source of love? Surprised? Shocked? Maybe
all
she needed was time to get used to the idea?" Her voice dropped, and so
did
her eyes, unable to look into his stormy green one's any longer, "It
didn't
mean she wanted him to stop loving her."
"He didn't," Pacey exclaimed passionately. "He never stopped
loving
her, he just stopped making her aware of it." His voice dropped, "He
thought
that was what she wanted."
Joey shook her head sadly, "No," she paused near tears, "she
only
wanted time," with that she sprinted out the door, twenty-three pairs
of
eyes looked after her. Once she was gone, those eyes turned on him. He
dropped his head to his chest, ignoring them he went back to his desk
and
collected his things. The room emptied, somberly he made his way to the
door.
"Pacey?" Mrs. Lory queried, "Talk to her." She said softly
before
turning back to her work.
"It's not that easy." He muttered darkly to himself, and entered
the
empty hallway. It didn't take him long to reach his locker, since there
were
no crowds to fight, he exchanged his books for his lunch. Preparing
himself
to put on a facade of indifference at lunch. It was a little harder
than
usual. It had never been easy to pretend he didn't have feelings for
Joey.
But the knowledge that she had, or used to have, feelings for him
suddenly
turned his world upside down.
Reaching the cafeteria doors, he took at deep breath and forced
a
smile to his face. A quick scanning of the room told him Joey wasn't at
their usual table, nor was she in the lunch line. He shook his head
while
making his way to their usual table, he wasn't sure wether to be
disappointed or relieved.
"Good afternoon all," He greeted Dawson, Jen, and Jack, who were
busy
ingesting what appeared to be Salsebury steak. "Don't let me distract
you
from that enticing meal," he joked, seating himself across from Dawson.
Pacey visibly paled as he saw Joey and Andie enter the
cafeteria.
They were chatting amiably, unaware of Pacey's worried gaze. By the
time
they arrived at the table, Dawson had moved over to make room for Joey,
as
had Pacey for Andie.
"Hi, sweetie," Andie greeted him, planting a quick kiss on his
lips.
Pacey forced a smile, "Hey, McPhee." He watched with hooded eyes
as
Dawson greeted Joey much the same way that Andie had greeted him.
Immediatly
after they pulled apart, Joey shot Pacey an nervous look, then quickly
averted her eyes apprehensively Pacey forced himself to tear his eyes
away
from her, and join in the new topic at hand. He had pretended before...
he
could pretend again.
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