Disclaimer: Holds.
Recap: After much drama, Pacey and Joey get together after Four to Tango. After staying out all night, Pacey's father hit him and left a scar across his cheek. He hid it from Joey, when she finally tracked him down, he told her to stay out of it, that it wasn't her business. The next night, Pacey appears on her doorstep horribly injured. She nurses him and leaves him at True Love while she heads off for school.

Pacey stared at the blackboard lost in his own world. A sneeze from the closest person next to him brought him out of his reverie. He shot a look to the clock above the door. Two minutes until class ended, then off to another. He sighed, he couldn't concentrate on what Mr. Rudah was rambling on about, and his best guess was something about World War One.

Joey and Doug occupied his thoughts. Living with his brother was proving to be more difficult than he hoped it would be. As much as he tried to bring himself to trust Doug, he couldn't. So far, he hadn't heard a thing from his father. For that at least, he was thankful. It still wasn't enough to bring him to trust his brother, his tormentor for the better part of sixteen years.

Then there was Joey; he regretted the things he had said to her, when she had told him that she'd gone to Doug. The anger had stemmed from fear of what his father would do when he got his hands on him. Even though, now he knew that Doug wasn't going to turn him over to his father, the anger hadn't faded. She had known how he felt about his family. She knew that his brother easily could have taken him back to his father. It angered him that she didn't think him capable enough of taking care of himself.

He was hurt. It hurt to be angry with her.

Joey sighed and glanced out the window of her fifth period Spanish class. It had been more then two weeks since she had last seen Pacey, not that she was counting. She ran an unsteady hand through her hair and frowned. Crap, she had almost gone a full five minutes without thinking about him. She had tried her best within the confines of the past few weeks to dedicate herself to her schoolwork and life at home with a brilliant ardor. She convinced herself that as long as she was busy, she would be too busy to think about Pacey.

She was wrong, if anything being ahead in her schoolwork only gave her more time to think about Pacey. She had even graduated to accepting to give up her weekends and baby-sit Alex. If something needed to be cleaned or fixed at the B&B Joey got the job done. By eight o�clock, she was in bed buried under her covers, stereo on low playing something melodramatic and trite, while she cried herself to sleep. Joey yawned and pushed those depressing thoughts of what her life had become and focused on the ringing bell signaling the end of class. She grudgingly began to gather her books.

The bell signaling the end of class went by unnoticed by Pacey, so intent was he on his thoughts. Mr. Rudah tapped him on the shoulder when he realized that his student wasn't moving. The classroom was empty by the time he had gathered his things and made an exit.

Joey turned the corner prepared to spend another enlightening period in American History. She had been in a daze walking through the halls oblivious to the students around her and too wrapped up in her inner turmoil. Her plan of avoiding Pacey like the plague had worked like a charm.

She tried to do her best to not let him see how much he hurt her, but so far, she had a feeling that her plan wasn't going so well. She had heard from Dawson that he had moved in with Doug over the weekend and she brushed it off when he asked her why she didn't know. The news had came as quite a surprise considering on how he had ripped into her about the whole situation...Damn, there she went again. It was like playing Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, except her version was Six Degrees to Pacey Witter. She groaned and tried to focus on the pleasantries of life as she entered her classroom.

Pacey's head hung as he mechanically exited the classroom. His mind was elsewhere as he collided with someone trying to enter only seconds after he left the door. "Oww!" he exclaimed feeling the impact of a heavy book falling on his foot.

Joey's eyes flew open as she landed on the floor with a thud; books and papers flying everywhere. "Oof," she cried and sat up rubbing her sore elbow. "Walk much?" she spat as she knelt down and began to hurriedly retrieve her books and papers before she became late.

"Look, I'm-" he broke off, as Joey tucked her hair behind her ear, giving him a full look at her face.

She frowned as she leaned over to retrieve a book that was just out of her reach. "Sorry, would be the appropriate ending to that sentence, but seeing as to how you're incapable of walking right how in hell could I expect you to understand that concept." She sighed and grabbed her book, tossing it into her backpack and hurried to collect the other papers that had fluttered onto the floor around her. "Great, a freaking ticker tape parade," she muttered under her breath.

He stood frozen in place, unsure of whether to stay and help or run and hide. Chivalry won in the end. Gathering himself together, he knelt down to help her pick up her scattered things. Even if he was mad at her, he couldn't leave her there to clean up the mess alone.

Joey frowned as she picked up the last of her papers. She turned her head and found herself confronted with a male hand holding her papers in her face. She grabbed them reluctantly. "Than-" the rest of her apology was lost in her throat as she found herself gazing into Pacey's familiar blue eyes.

As soon as she had a grip on the papers, he moved to step around her. If he said anything right then, he knew he'd regret it.

She stood up regaining her balance and composure quickly. She adjusted the shoulder strap on her book bag. "Walking away so soon, Pacey? But then again what should I expect, it's just like you to knock'em down when they don't see you coming and walk away like nothing happened. Isn't that right?"

It hadn't taken much from her to make him loose his composure. "And isn't just like you to focus on your destination instead of the path you take get there! Is it to much for Queen Josephine to take into consideration the thoughts and feelings of others?" He shot back.

She swallowed. Hard. "No, Pacey. I believe that's more your forte then mine. Isn't it true? I mean, no one's pain is greater then Pacey Witter's. Who cares about anyone else as long as Pacey is happy? Isn't that the way it goes?"

"Excuse me for fearing the father that beat the shit out of me. How dare I be concerned for my own physical well being and safety, when your feelings are a little hurt? I had to look out for myself, no one else was gonna do it for me!"

"What did I do wrong, Pace? Oh, that's right, I dared to care about you, of course you wouldn't know a thing about caring for someone else would you, Pace? Oh, let me save you the chance of being able to listen to your poor sob story of why I was wrong and you were right. Us? It was a mistake, right? Maybe the only reason you wanted me because somehow in that sick deluded mine of yours you were under the misconception that I was Dawson's and you were jealous. So you figured 'hey why not use Joey today to make my poor little miserable self feel better.'"

He paused, then chuckled mirthlessly, "It always comes back to Dawson, doesn't it Jo?" He smirked. "The center of your world." He paused, "I may be jealous of Dawson for many things... but never over you." His eyes glinted in malice. He wanted her out of his life and onto bigger and better things; better people. This was the way to do it.

He choked on his next words. "How could I possibly want you, the parentless girl from the wrong side of the tracks? No wonder you don't know anything about trust and security, you had none of it."

Joey fought back the angry tears that threatened to spill over and she felt her face flush to a brilliant shade of red. "I hate you!" She shrieked angrily. "You're a cold and heartless bastard, no wonder your own damn father doesn't love you. How could anyone?" She turned and stalked away angrily making sure she was out of view before breaking down into sobs.

Tears threatened to flow from his own eyes. That hadn't just happened. He hadn't just said those things. He hadn't just made her cry. She didn't hate him. He fought back the tears and as his vision cleared, he could see the twenty or so shocked faces that surrounded him, gawking at the huge fight they had just witnessed. When his eyes met the shocked and disgusted ones of Dawson and Jen, he knew every moment of it had been real.

Jen was the first to gain her composure and acted quickly. "Okay, folks, nothing to see here. Party's over," she said motioning everyone away. Reluctantly, the gawking spectators left. Jen then turned her attention to Dawson and Pacey, as she contemplated what her next move should be.

Dawson glared daggers at Pacey. The anger, the hurt he caused Joey made him livid. How could he have been so deliberately cruel? Through the anger he was experiencing, he knew things were not adding up. Now his concern was for Joey. Tight lipped he turned and stormed back in the direction Joey had run off, leaving Jen to deal with Pacey.

"Is there a reason that Jerry Springer 2000 was just presented for the viewing pleasure of Capeside High students?" She raised an eyebrow inquisitively.

Pacey shook his head ruefully, his face as hard as stone as he looked off in the direction Joey had gone. "Plenty of reasons...just none that make any sense.�

She paused and looked at him thoughtfully. "Try me."

"Not now, Jen," he said beginning to walk away, "Not now."

Jen sighed and watched his retreating figure before turning and heading to class.

The late bell rung and Joey still hadn't exited the bathroom. Dawson paced back and forth in front of the door a few more moments, before deciding that it was safe to enter. He pushed the door open slowly and stuck his head in. "Joey?" He received no answer. "Jo? I'm coming in. If there are any objections, voice them now." Still he received only silence in response. He entered.

Joey tried to muffle her strangled sobs. Using her feet to hold the bathroom stall closed she reached for some tissue in her backpack. She let out a small groan when she heard Dawson enter. Great that was just what she needed right now; questions. "Go away, Dawson."

"I'm afraid I can't do that, Joey." He answered trying to make his tone light.

"Yes, you can. It's really simple. Just walk right back out the way you came."

"Okay, so physically I can. Nevertheless, I won't leave you alone in here. Not after that." He listened closely to her voice to determine which stall she was in.

Joey sighed reluctantly letting her feet fall to the floor and stretch in front of her awkwardly. "That...That was nothing. I mean, you know Pacey and me; we never get along. Get over it. I already did."

"If you were over it," He opened the stall door slowly and took in her dejected form. "You wouldn't be in here crying."

"Okay, so I'm not exactly and completely over it but the crying has died down to sniffles," she interjected helpfully. "So that has to be kind of a good sign."

"What happened Joey? What caused you guys to attempt starting World War Three in our school hallway?"

She shrugged his question off. "Nothing, Dawson. Pacey and I always argue, nothing new."

"Not like that. He's never used our past relationship as a weapon against you. You've never used his family life against him. And neither of you have ever mentioned love." He ended softly.

She gulped slightly, fresh tears gathering on her eyelids. She closed her eyes and felt the warm tears fall against her cheek, leaving wet trails before making their final journey on to the tissue she wringing in her hands. "I-It was nothing. It meant nothing."

"Joey, talk to me. I'm your best friend. You can't lie to me. If it meant nothing we wouldn't be in here. Talk to me, please." Dawson pleaded inwardly resolving to kick Pacey's ass for what happened.

Joey felt her resolve fading. "Well, what do you want to hear, Dawson? I already told you-"

He interrupted. "I want to know what you were fighting about. Why you were fighting...and why it hurt you so much."

Joey's eyes watered at the concern etched in his voice and the tenderness in his hazel eyes. "What do you want to know, Dawson? You want to know that I love him? Is that what you want to hear? I'm in love with Pacey Witter. That make you feel better? Does it? Because I've been dying inside ever since I found out." Joey collapsed into another fit of tears. "God, Dawson. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," she cried out into her hands.

Dawson's breath caught in his throat at her confession. She loved Pacey? Well, that explained their hurtful remarks... partly. He moved into the cramped stall, took her hand, pulled her to her feet and into her arms. He hugged her close and smoothed her hair. "Never apologize for how you feel, Jo." He whispered in her ear as her tears soaked through his shirt.

Joey sighed as she made her way through the market, Dawson trailing behind her a look of boredom etched across his face. Joey sighed and turned to him. "You didn't have to come with me, Dawson. I'm perfectly capable of shopping on my own," she said gazing at the frozen treats of ice cream in front of her. She picked up a container of chocolate chip mint and studied it intently.

"Chill, Joey." He said, coming out of his dazed reverie. "I had some shopping to do today too." He paused, "Have to prepare for movie night."

Joey smiled slightly. "Movie night, huh? And what film will be entertaining us for the next two hours? I'm quite interested in what this new and improved Dawson Leery will find worthy of our viewing pleasure."

His lips pulled upward in a secretive smile, "Wouldn't you like to know?" He teased moving on down the aisle.

She grinned and hurried to catch up to him.

Jen paused and studied the ingredients in a box of instant mashed potatoes before slipping it into her basket. "You know you could at least act a little happy to be in my company," she said turning to a moping Pacey.

"When you called and said you wanted to get me out of the house, I did not envision a Saturday afternoon in Molly's Market." Pacey sighed. Not that it made much of a difference where they were; he'd still be in a crummy mood.

Jen laughed. "Well, I would have suggested something wild and care free, but Grams needed some things. I do have to play the role of the dutiful granddaughter at times. I promise, as soon as we're done, we'll do something fun that does not involve the purchasing of food or any other perishable items."

"Whatever," he mumbled reading the back of a macaroni and cheese package.

Jen shook her head and bit her tongue from saying something. She walked down the aisle and her face considerably brightened when she saw Dawson standing by the fruit and vegetable stand. She walked over and grabbed cantaloupe. "Hmm... I can never remember if they have to be too soft or too hard." She turned to Dawson. "Care to help a girl out?"

Dawson returned the grin fully, "Of course. Who am I to turn down a damsel in distress?" He squeezed one of the cantaloupes and handed it to her. "So, what are your plans for this evening?"

Jen sighed. "Well, I would say something in the range of angst and moping, because the Mopesy twin over there isn't exactly the best of company." She motioned to Pacey. "Suddenly, a care free evening with Henry doesn't seem like such a bad idea."

"I know exactly what you mean," Dawson said shooting her a meaningful look. "The other half of that duo is somewhere in the health and beauty aids section." His brows drew together. "You haven't gotten anything out of him by any chance have you?"

Jen shook her head. "He's taken a vow of silence that would put some monks to shame."

Dawson chuckled mirthlessly. "All I know is that he's mad at Joey for going to Doug. That's all she'll tell me, that and�she's in love with him." Dawson's hands clenched. "I could kill him for what he said to her yesterday!" His voice was deathly low as he shot daggers at Pacey's back.

Jen breathed out a sigh of relief, glad that Dawson knew what was going on between his two friends and she didn't have to cover up. "I know...So Joey's in love with Pacey, huh? Who would've guessed that?" she observed Dawson pointedly.

Dawson gave her a knowing look. "My feelings for Joey are friendly only, bordering on brotherly. I would gladly beat the crap out of Pacey if I didn't already think he was beating himself up over it." Jen nodded, still inquiring with her eyes. "I'm fine with it, Jen. Except that she's heartbroken, I would do anything to save her from that."

Joey walked up to them invading their private conversation. "Who's heartbroken?" she inquired.

Jen and Dawson exchanged a look. "No one, we were just discussing..." He looked to Jen for help; she gave him a blank look. "Um... movie night. You're coming right, Jen?"

Joey's eyes widened in surprise at this new revelation, she shook her head. "Yeah, you should," she implored.

Spotting Jen at the end of the vegetable isle, Pacey made his way there. "Jen, I've got-" He trailed off. "Hey Dawson," he said tentatively, absorbing the piercing gaze, the tall blond shot his way. Not that he blamed Dawson for his anger; he hated himself just as much as Dawson did, if not more. He'd yet to notice the brunette standing just behind Dawson.

Joey froze upon hearing his voice and she clicked her tongue behind her teeth in surprise. She blinked a few times in surprise. She had managed to avoid Pacey ever since their little incident and now that she was confronted with his presence again, she felt unprepared. Her face paled and she felt her heart begin to beat rapidly, but she said nothing, only reaching for Dawson's hand for reassurance and strength.

The shock of seeing her left him breathless. He took in the vision of her, her long hair, hanging limply around her pale face, her doe eyes lifeless, dark bags below them. He noticed her hand wrapped tightly around Dawson's, her knuckles white, caused his heart to collapse.

He hadn't thought he could hurt more than he was, but now he knew that wasn't true. He used to be the one to hold her hand, to take care of her... to touch her and now Dawson replaced him. But that's what you wanted, he reminded himself, you wanted her to move on, to forget you. He repeated the argument in his mind again. It lacked conviction now, and lately he'd been having a hard time convincing himself he'd done the right thing.

She swallowed hard deciding on whether she should say anything or not. She stood her ground and decided to be mature about the whole situation. "Hello Pacey," she said coldly, voice lacking any real emotion.

"Joey," he replied finally finding his voice.

She merely nodded before turning to Dawson. "I-I should go.."

"No, I will." Pacey interjected, his guilt overpowering his surprise and fear at seeing her again. Jen and Dawson exchanged fearful looks.

Joey shook her head. "Please, don't feel the need to leave on my account...but maybe I'm reading too much into it. You couldn't possibly care on how I felt, so I guess this must be uncomfortable for you, Pacey. I find it funny, that you have no problem degrading me in public and yet, you don't even have the nerve to standby...I guess I shouldn't be surprised.�

"You're right," he said his voice soft and contrite. He turned his head down and walked away.

"Running away, Pacey? That seems to be something you're quite good at," she said bitterly.

At her words, he slowed his step turning to face her once more. "God, Joey! What do you want from me? I'm trying to let you go, pretend that nothing happened. I'm bending over backwards to stay out of your life, and you hate me for it. What do you want from me?" He stressed, his voice rising to cover the distance between them.

She took a step back in shock and her cheeks reddened. "I-I want you," she paused and shook her head sadly. "I want you to hurt as bad as I do," she said quietly. She looked at Dawson eyes teary and pleading forgiveness. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," she voiced hoarsely and ran from the store.

Pacey again found himself frozen in place, watching the space where she had just stood, tears beginning to cascade down her face. Stricken he shifted his gaze to where Jen and Dawson stood, only to find Jen standing there, open mouthed as Dawson muttered "You are so dead," and took off after Joey leaving his groceries there.

Jen had watched the scene unfold before her with mute interest and still couldn't comprehend the vicious and acidic deprecatory remarks that they two were capable of telling each other. She couldn't believe that two people would be so intent on hurting the other. She stared after Dawson and Joey. "Well...that was interesting," she said turning back to face Pacey.

"I do," he sputtered after Joey ignoring Jen's remark. "I do."

Jen waited for Pacey to finish before she continued. "Okay, I had promised myself to stay out of this, to not say anything. I was under the impression that you knew what you were doing, but after witnessing that little angst ridden scene I have one question for you: What the hell is wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with me?" he repeated her words as she picked up her basket and headed for the check out counter. "I wish I knew. I'm trying to do the right thing, and it just blows up in my face."

Jen sighed helplessly. "You're not doing the right thing, Pacey. You're being selfish."

"If I was being selfish, I wouldn't be hurting this much." He countered, following behind her.

Jen shook her head. "No, it just doesn't add up. You want this."

"I love her, Jen. She's better off without me. Can't you see that?" He asked angrily. "She can."

"So her hurting right now, is okay? You saw her, Pacey. You've seen how much she's hurting and you really think it's worth it? You're doing this for you and don't you dare blame it on her. You're doing this so in the long run you won't get hurt." She stared him down haughtily.

"No, Jen that's not what's going on. You heard what she said about me the other day. Everything she said was true, I won't let her waste her love on someone whose father can't even love him." They left the store packages in hand. "She deserves better than that. I'm only going to drag her down, and I love her too much to let that happen to her."

Jen frowned. "You are so hard headed sometimes. She loves you, Pacey. She's in love with you. So, head over heals in love that even Dawson knows. She didn't mean those things the other day, she was angry and hurt so she lashed out."

"It doesn't change the fact that she was right. I am not good for her. That's it. Look at what's happened so far, the only thing I've brought to her life is heartache!"

"Pacey, she feels the same way! Do you know what you told her? What you did to her there in front of everybody! You took every insecurity she has about herself, about being with you and you used it against her. Now, tell me this, did you mean it?" she asked quietly.

"God, Jen!" He looked at her appalled, "Of course not! I love her."

"But does she know that?" Jen countered. "What are you waiting for, Pacey? For a big sign to be imprinted on your head saying �datable�." Jen groaned. "You're impossible, because if you're not what Joey needs...then I guess you better rethink how well you know Joey."

Pacey was silent for a few moments, absorbing her words. "Even if I realized what a prick I've been, it's too late. What's done is done."

Jen shook her head and smiled sadly, when she noticed Dawson comforting a crying Joey by the curb. "I don't think so."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Pacey asked with a frown, not aware of the two others fifteen feet away.

She sighed and turned to him, motioning to the two friends. "It's not over yet. Would she be hurting that bad if it were?"

"There's a point where hate cancels out love. Whatever feelings of love she had for me, have to be long gone by now. I know how cruel I was, I know how much she's hurting, because every time I hurt her, I hurt myself. There's no way she can possible love me still," he said seriously, watching as Dawson hugged her.

"Well...Do you still love her?" Jen asked cautiously.

"Yes, Jen. I love her. I thought that was obvious. I love her so much it's killing me. To stand here and watch him take care of her when it should be me, it kills me. Then, I remember, I was the one that caused her this pain, and I die a little more. I thought I was doing the right thing in pushing her away and now that I know exactly how much damage I've done and how irreparable it is, it kills me all the more." He slowly moved his gaze from Joey and Dawson to Jen, who was watching him, sympathy in her eyes. "Is that a good enough answer?"

"Well, she still loves you," she paused. "There's your answer."

"How do you figure?" He whispered, watching Dawson as he pulled away from Joey wiping her tears from her face.

"You don't cry over someone you don't love, Pace."

"However, you do cry over someone who used everyone one of your weaknesses against you. She did love me, and that's why she's crying, I hurt her too much... she can't love me enough to cancel that out." He insisted, watching as Dawson helped her to her feet.

"Who are you trying to convince Pacey, me or yourself?"

Dawson helped Joey to her feet and they began the walk home. Pacey stood next to Jen, watching them disappear, his thoughts jumbling his mind. "I don't know,� He mumbled, "I don't know.