"Well, I think I'm finally realizing that what happened was not my fault. I mean, I think a small part of me didn't blame me but it was just easier blaming myself. I guess part of me doesn't want to believe Dawson could ever do those things; it's hard to disassociate him from the guy I grew up with. The one that was so idealistic and the dreamer, Dawson's always been such an integral part of my life. He practically made me what I am today. He's really not that bad a guy." Joey smiled halfheartedly crossing her legs at the ankle and gazed around the bare white walls of the small office before focusing her gaze back on the doctor behind the desk in front of her.

"You're doing it again." Caitlyn Brown put her pen down and gave Joey a pointed look through her wire rimmed glasses. In the few weeks Joey had been her client, Caitlyn had become fond of the younger woman. Her life hadn't been easy, but she'd come through it with a remarkable passion for life. Caitlyn found herself thankful that Joey's boyfriend had insisted she see someone, the ingredients for severe depression were definitely present when Joey had first stepped into her office. Now, three weeks later, there was significant improvement. The only lasting damage seemed to be her reluctance to blame Dawson for what he'd done.

Joey shrugged and shifted uncomfortably in the plush, velvet seat and sat up. "But, he's not. I know he's not. The stress of working at the firm got to him, that's all."

"Joey," Dr. Brown removed her glasses tiredly and placed them on her desk. Leaning forward in her seat, she spoke in a calm, but very serious tone. "You cannot treat him as though he's the same 15-year-old you were in love with as a child. Try to picture that Dawson behaving as this Dawson did."

She shook her head immediately. "I can't."

"And why not? They're they same person aren't they?"

She frowned faintly wringing her hands on her lap. "It's just hard to imagine it. Dawson wasn't like that at fifteen."

"Right. He wasn't." Caitlyn agreed. "He has changed, he's become someone you never imagined he could. Accepting that will be difficult, but you need to. He's responsible for his actions, no matter how out of character they are from the boy you once knew."

Joey nodded along eager for a subject change. "So did I tell you I was having a boy?" She smiled lamely. "Pacey and I can still not decide on a name."

The years fell away from Caitlyn's face as she smiled, allowing Joey to change the subject as they had only a few minutes left. "That's wonderful. Sound's like you'll have your hands full between the two of them."

She grinned wryly. "Don't I know it."

"Has he started kicking yet?" She asked, her gaze falling to Joey's stomach.

Joey smiled. "No, not yet but he should be starting soon."

A wry smile crossed Caitlyn's face, "My Mickey started kicking during the fourth month and didn't stop until he was born." She patted her ribs, "I think I still have bruises."

She laughed lightly. "I guess I have that to look forward to don't I."

"The joys and pit falls of pregnancy." She sighed, "It's worth it in the end. You sit there, hot and sweaty holding this tiny pink bundle of life and you can't wait to go through it again."

She smiled faintly. "We'll see."

Caitlyn returned the smile. "Otherwise, how are things?"

"Um, things are fine," Joey answered.

"Good, things with Pacey are nice and calm?"

She nodded. "Pretty much."

"Not to giving on the details, are ya?" She smiled kindly.

The corner of her mouth turned down slightly. "I don't know�sometimes I wonder if this whole thing is just a mistake."

"What part?" Her brows drew together in concern.

She shrugged obviously uneasy. "Like Pacey, I don't think he'd be with me if it weren't for the baby."

"What makes you feel that way?" Caitlyn asked, going back into psychiatrist mode.

"I can't exactly pinpoint it. It's just this feeling I have," she said honestly.

Caitlyn frowned, glancing at the clock on her desk. "We will definitely discuss this next week. In the mean time, talk to him about it. Let him know you feel that way, and try to pinpoint what makes you feel that way, your relationship with him can only benefit from it."

"I'll think about it," she said getting up from her seat.

She rose too, holding out her hand for Joey to shake. She smiled, "You've come a long way in your life, Joey Potter. Don't let this become the roadblock that keeps you from being happy."

"I'll keep that in mind," Joey said shaking her hand. "And thank you."

"Have a good weekend, Joey." She smiled walking her to the door.

Joey returned her smile. "You too."

Caitlyn waved good-bye to Joey, then held her door open for her next client, a foul mouthed 13-year-old. She gave Joey a wary look, "Bye."

She smiled sympathetically. "Bye."

Pacey unlocked the door to their apartment late Thursday night/Friday morning. Not bothering to turn the light on, he threw his keys on the table and his coat across the arm of the couch before heading for the bathroom to wash up before bed. A few minutes later, he emerged and headed for Joey's room, his feet dragging.

A night hadn't passed in the last two months that he hadn't slept in her bed, absently he wondered why they hadn't moved his clothes into her room by now. He silently stripped out of his clothes, for the last time that night. He yawned and glanced at the clock; 3 A.M. he moved around the bed and climbed in on his side, immediately cuddling up to Joey. He rested one large hand on her belly and dropped a kiss on her cheek before letting his head sink into the pillows. "Night, Baby." He whispered, his eyes closing as he yawned again.

"Mmm...what time is it?" She smiled sleepily and opened her eyes, snuggling against him.

"Three," he replied. "Sorry I woke ya."

"It's okay."

"I got you something," he murmured through a yawn.

She smiled, amusement in her tone. "What?"

"'S in the baby's room. I got it this morning. More for him then you, but you'll like it." He smiled tiredly and nuzzled his face into her hair.

She grinned. "Are you going to tell me or do I have to get up and see it?"

"Can wait 'till morning." He pulled her closer, "'S not that big a deal."

"Yeah...but now I'm all curious."

He whined, "If you must, but if I fall asleep without you-" he yawned, "No waking me up." He reluctantly withdrew his arm from around her.

"Fine," she said sitting up and getting off the bed. "I'll just go by myself."

"Yeah..." he mumbled snuggling deeper into the covers.

Joey sighed and rolled her eyes, walking over to the baby's room. Her eyes fell upon the wooden picture frame hanging on the wall and she padded over to get a better look. She smiled faintly, her eyes tearing as she examined the framed picture of her and Pacey, they couldn't have been anymore than five. She laughed lightly and her hands went to her stomach before her eyes widened in surprise. "You kicked," she said in awe.

Silently, Pacey wrapped his arms around her from behind, "Ya like?" He tiredly resting his chin on her shoulder. He jerked his hands away from her stomach "What was that?!"

"I love," she said quietly correcting him. She smiled sliding her hands over his and placed them back on her stomach. "Your son just kicked."

"Oh," he relaxed, waiting to see if he'd kick again. He smiled, feeling his son move, "Wow. Does it hurt?" He asked worriedly.

She shook her head. "Not really."

He kissed her shoulder and hugged her from behind. "Good. So, you really liked it?"

She nodded. "Yeah. I really do." She smiled. "It's sweet."

"We were cute kids," he commented.

The corner of her mouth turned up slightly. "I guess we were."

"Hmmm, you gonna come back to bed, Princess? Or do I have to sleep alone?"

She yawned quietly. "I'll go back to bed."

"Love you." He murmured, taking her hand so they could go back to the bedroom.

She smiled. "I love you too."

"Workin' tomor-tomor-" he yawned. "Tomorrow?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I just might go in late."

He kissed her cheek, "That might be nice."

She grinned and raised an eyebrow before pulling away and walking to the kitchen. "Do we have any ice cream?"

He chuckled, "Yeah, I think so. Why do you want ice cream at three in the morning?"

She shrugged as she pulled out a pint of vanilla ice cream from the freezer. "I don't know. I just feel like eating ice cream."

"Okay," he moved forward and kissed her forehead. "I'm gonna go sleep."

"Night."

He headed off to bed tiredly, he hated working nights. The hours didn't offer him much time to spend with her. She was asleep when he got him, and he was usually still sleeping when she got ready to go to work in the mornings. He flopped across the bed and pulled her pillow under his head, inhaling the scent of her shampoo before drifting off to sleep.

"So what's new with you?" Joey asked picking at the spaghetti on her plate as she glanced across the table at Jack. They'd chosen to lunch at Mario's again, the intimate atmosphere perfect for conversation between close friends. Both she and Jack had felt a little guilty about the lack of time they'd spent with one another recently.

"I'm not liking this whole living together thing." He grumbled, "You'd think with a brother and sister, I'd have learned to share by now."

She smiled sympathetically. "That bad, huh?"

"No, It's just...hard getting used to living with someone else." He bit into his lasagna. "I mean, you see everything about them. Morning breath, toe nail clippings, horrible obsessions with cleanliness..." he waved his fork.

Joey smirked. "From what I've seen you're the only one with a cleanliness obsession."

"Okay, he's a slob, but he takes, like, three showers a day!" He gave her a shocked look, "Who takes three showers a day!?"

She laughed. "Obviously he does."

"You're not supposed to patronize me."

She sighed. "Okay. I'm sorry but at least you get to see him. Pacey and I have been so busy lately."

"Yeah? Miss him, doncha?" he taunted.

"Oh, just shut up!" She smiled. "Besides, at least you don't have to worry about Shane being whisked away by another guy because you're getting fat."

"Oh puh-lease." He waved his hand, "You're not fat."

"Puh-lease?" Joey scoffed. "I've been eating like a mad woman lately. I look like a whale."

"You're supposed to, you're eating for two." Jack shrugged, "Besides, Pacey's not gonna leave you."

"Oh, gee. I'm supposed to look like a whale. Thanks." She frowned. "This is payback for making fun of Bessie all those years ago when she was pregnant with Alex." She chewed on her food thoughtfully. "Plus, hello? Need I remind you of what Pacey does for a living? He has beautiful girls throwing themselves at him every night and right now, looking like this, I'm not much competition."

"Jo," he arched an eyebrow at her. "It's Pacey."

"Exactly my point."

"Right, he's just gonna go bed the first woman he come across. 'Cause, hell, it's not like he's got a beautiful and pregnant girlfriend to go home to at night."

"Fat and pregnant."

"I think this would be one of those mood swing things Pacey was talking about." He gave up. "Aside from mounting and unfounded insecurities, how are ya?"

Joey balked. "Pacey complains about me to you?"

"No. I was asking how you were doing. He mentioned the mood swings." Jack shrugged and took another bite of his lunch.

"Well, I do not suffer from mood swings."

"So you say."

"Besides, what does Pacey know," Joey muttered.

"Right, he only lives with you." She gave him a dirty look. "Okay, sorry. I'm on your side. Really, though. How are you?"

"Fat."

"How's little Pacey Jr?"

"I think he's planning to kick his way out of my uterus."

"Awww," Jack chuckled. "How bad is it?

She shrugged. "It comes and it goes."

"You okay?" He asked after a few moments of silence.

She nodded glancing down at her plate. "Yeah..."

"You seem kinda down for someone who doesn't get mood swings."

Joey frowned. "I'm not down."

"You're not to friendly either."

She sighed taking a sip of her soda. "I'm just thinking...Do you think it was stupid of me to move in with Pacey?"

"Not really. Look how well it turned out." He gave her a funny look, "Why? Do you think so?"

"I don't know what to think anymore."

The amused look on his face faded. "Jo?"

She forced a smile. "It's probably nothing, right?"

"Maybe, maybe it is something. Do you think he's cheating on you, or something?"

She shrugged helplessly. "I don't know and I don't even know if it'd bother me if he were. I just feel detached from the whole thing."

"You wouldn't care if he were sleeping with someone else?" He repeated in disbelief.

She shrugged again. "I don't know."

Jack inhaled a deep breath. "That doesn't sound like you, Jo. Normally you're insanely protective of what's yours."

She sighed pushing her food around her plate. "It just doesn't feel like he's mine."

Jack's mouth turned down in a concerned frown. "Don't you think you'd be better off discussing this with him?"

She brushed her hair behind her ear. "I don't know. I guess. Maybe."

"He loves you," Jack smiled, "almost as much as I do."

She forced another smile. "See? Probably me just being silly."

"I hope so." He winked, "You guys deserve some happiness. I still can't believe you didn't tell me about what happened in Capeside earlier."

"Not exactly one of my finer moments."

"So? No one's perfect."

"Thanks," she said dryly.

"You should try talking to him, Jo." Jack suggested.

"And what am I supposed to say?"

"Tell him you want him to love you." He shrugged, "Make him aware that you don't know that he does."

"Enough about me. Let's talk about you," Joey said trying to change the subject.

"We tried that, remember? I don't know how to share."

She nodded. "Right. Share." She glanced out the window to her left. "Maybe we can do some shopping after this."

"Yeah, sure." Jack agreed. "Still buying stuff for the baby?"

"Yeah."

"Thought of a name yet?" He asked, finishing up his lunch.

She shook her head with a small smile. "No."

"What's the hold up?"

She shrugged. "Can't decide on anything."

"Have you considered Jack for a name?" He tried to make her smile.

She grinned lopsidedly. "I'll keep that in mind."

Pacey walked into their apartment early on Monday night, whistling an unindentifiable tune. "Lucy, I'm hooome." He called happily.

Joey smiled glancing up from the sketchbook on her lap before returning to her sketching. "I'm in my room, Ricky and I don't feel like walking so I suggest you come over here."

He followed the sound of her voice and entered the bedroom to find her sitting in the middle of the bed. "Hey Beautiful," he greeted her. He shed his jacket and sat beside her, his hand curved around her cheek and pulled her lips to his for a kiss.

"Hey yourself," she said closing her book and setting it on the bed beside her.

"Whatcha workin on?"

"Nothing important."

"Hmm," he smiled. "I have good news."

She smiled. "What is it?"

"Max decided to add an extra show to the line-up. It's rather...different than my usual stuff, but it pays better, and I get half the week off." He nuzzled her neck, lightly. "So I get even more time to make you sick of me."

"Mmm�" She grinned crookedly. "Sounds great."

"It should be." He sighed, "That's why I'm home early. He asked us for volunteers during our weekly meeting, and after hearing I could spend Monday through Thursday at home with my two favorite people, I jumped on it." He kissed her neck, "Which means, I wont have to go in until Wednesday to rehearse."

"Wonderful." She smiled tilting her head to the side to accommodate him. "So what does this new job of yours entail?"

"Dancing," he replied, his breath warm against her skin as his lips traveled down her neck to rest over the pulsepoint.

She laughed slightly breathless, amusement laced in her voice. "Don't you do that already?"

"Yeah. Max has gotten it into his head to expand the club to appeal to more than just women and gay men." He wrapped his arms around her from behind, his hands resting over her stomach. "So he's experimenting with including women in the strip acts."

"Women?" she asked with a raised eyebrow as she leaned back against him.

"Umm hmm." His thumb traced small circles over her belly. "Eventually, he's going to give them their own acts. For now though," he nipped her ear lobe lightly, "the girls are going to work with a few of us."

"Mmm�and how's that going to work out?" she questioned curiously.

"I'm not entirely sure, but I believe we'll be stripping each other."

"Oh."

"That okay with you?" he asked, pulling his lips away from her skin at her surprised exclaimation.

"Yeah. I mean, sure. Why wouldn't it be?"

"I don't know, just checking." He smiled into her hair. "How was your day?"

She sighed. "It was okay."

"Got any plans tonight?" he asked huskily.

She smiled. "Why? Do you have something in mind?"

"I'd kinda like to take you on a date, if I may?"

"Depends on where you're planning to take me."

"Anywhere that wont make you sick." He told her with an amused smile.

"I guess that kind of narrows it down." The corners of her mouth turned up slightly.

"You feel like something fancy or does Denny's suit your needs?" he asked, kissing her cheek.

Her lips curled into a small frown. "I don't really feel like going anywhere."

He frowned slightly, "Okay, how about I take you out tomorrow night?"

She shook her head with a shrug. "I don't know�"

"You have more enticing plans?"

"Maybe...I might."

He gave her a peculiar look. "There someone else, Potter?"

"What?"

"I'm teasing," he reassured her.

She smiled faintly. "Oh."

"You okay?" He asked moving away from her so he could massage her shoulders. "You seem tense."

"I'm fine."

"Ya sure?" he pressed.

"I'm fine," she repeated.

"Okay," he dropped his hands in defeat. "You need anything before I go take a shower?"

"No."

He rose from the bed silently and started removing his clothes. He tossed his shirt in the laundery basket in the corner and kicked off his shoes.

Joey sighed tiredly and reached for her sketchbook opening it to the page she had been working on.

He unzipped his pants and slid out of them. He tossed them in after his shirt, he pulled off his socks and left them in the middle of the floor. He left the bedroom, wondering why one moment she was warm and affectionate with him and the next cold and distant. He tried blaming it on the hormones, but they could only be responsible for so much. He pulled out a towel from the linen closet and went into the bathroom, turning the hot water up higher than normal.

Joey frowned after a moment unable to get herself back into the mood to finish her drawing. She sighed and shut the book, setting it on her bedside table before climbing off the bed and stretching her arms above her head. She yawned and walked over to the door, leaning down to pick up the socks Pacey left on the floor and tossing them into the laundry basket. She grabbed his shoes and placed them together near the door. She released an exasperated breath. He could be such a slob sometimes.

Testing the water with his hand, he was satisfied to feel the hot sting of the water. He pulled his hand away and pulled down his boxers, leaving them in the middle of the floor. The steam was begining to fill the bathroom as he stepped under the hot spray, letting the water wash over his taut body.

Joey walked down the hall to the kitchen and paused at the bathroom door knocking lightly. "Pacey?" Getting no answer, she reached for the doorknob and tried it. The door opened easily and she stepped in, waving the steam that had gathered away from her face.

She let out a sharp breath as she caught a quick glimpse of slick wet skin through the half open shower curtain and she bit her lip, quietly shutting the door behind her. Her hands reached for the ends of her shirt and she tugged it over her head before quickly removing her pants and underwear in one swift move. She stepped out of the pile of clothing and pushed the shower curtain aside, joining him. "I was feeling kind of dirty," she said with a small smile.

He offered her his most charming half-smile. "I could use the company. It was getting kinda lonely in here." He stepped out from under the spray so she was exposed to the water. He used her favorite raspberry body wash and lathered up the loofa sponge that had come with it. He stepped in front of the spray again and began to lather her shoulders.

"Thanks," she said softly turning her head and lightly kissing his knuckles.

"For what?" He replied, moving the sponge tenderly over her neck and down her clavical.

"For putting up with me."

"Thank you." He murmured, kissing her forehead. He lifted her hand and held it out so he could run the loofa over her arm.

She smiled faintly. "For what?"

"For letting me." He repeated the process with her other arm.

She felt her eyes begin to tear slightly and she thought her heart might burst from all the love she felt for the man in front of her. "I love you," she whispered hoarsely.

He smiled, "I love you too. But please, don't think this is for your benefit. It's just an excuse for me to lay my hands all over you." He growled wolfishly, arching an eyebrow.

She grinned wryly. "I wasn't aware that you needed an excuse."

"It always pays to have an excuse ready," he replied, moving the soapy sponge down her front and over her swollen breasts.

She smiled, shutting her eyes for a moment and enjoying the combination of the soapy sponge, his hands and the warm water over her skin. "Only if I get to return the favor."

"I am yours to do with as you please." He toyed with a nipple for a moment, using his fingers to gently work it to a stiff peak. His otherhand continued to trail soap over her body.

She moaned softly. "Mmm�I like the sound of that."

"Do ya?" He asked huskily, going to his knees on the shower floor so he had access to her legs.

She nodded biting down on her lower lip. "Yes�"

"What might you be doing with me then?" he asked, his soapy hands moving to caress her inner thighs, the sponge forgotten as the water streamed over them both.

She smirked. "Well, Pacey if I have to tell you�"

"You sure it's safe for the baby?" he asked quietly his fingers tentativly touching her at the juncture of her thighs.

"Yes," she smiled softly. "I'm sure."

He kissed the curve of her stomach and rose from the floor, stepping away so she could rinse off. "Let's get a move on then." He grabbed a bottle of the nearest shampoo and began massageing it into her hair.

"Kind of anxious aren't we?"

"What can I say?" he shrugged. "I love to love you."

The corners of her mouth turned down slightly. "Are you sure?"

He looked slightly afronted and his hands stilled in her hair. "Yeah, I'm sure. I've been sure for more than half my life."

She rushed on hurriedly. "Because�you know, if this is just because of the baby�"

"Joey, I love you. I have loved you and I will love you. Maybe having the baby made me face it sooner than I would have normally, but he doesn't change how I feel."

She smiled unsurely. "Yeah?"

"Yeah, Joey." He wrapped her in a tight hug, their slick bodies pressed together, her pregnant belly between them. "I love you with everything I have."

"Even though I'm moody and fat?"

"You're not fat." He replied automatically. "And yes, even when you're moody."

She smiled. "I look like a beached whale."

"No, you look absolutely beautiful." He slid around her so she could get under the spray and rince her hair. "You glow, sweetie."

"I'm fat."

"You. Are. Pregnant." He repeated. "There is a baby inside you. There aren't extra fat cells anywhere on your body."

"Then how come you haven't touched me?" she asked quietly.

"I didn't think you'd want me to." He replied, "The doctor told me that it's normal for a woman's sex drive to decrease during pregnancy. I didn't want to pressure you."

She smiled. "And you couldn't have told me this sooner?"

"Well, truthfully, Potter, we haven't really had abundant amounts of alone time together."

She sighed. "I know."

"But now we do." He kissed her, "You're gonna be sick of seeing my face everywhere."

"Doubt it."

His mouth quirked upward in a smile, his arms circling her waist. "That's what I'm hoping for."

"Glad you approve." She could feel his erection against her abdomen and she shifted slightly, rubbing against him.

"You ready to get out?"

"Yeah," she smiled.

He bent down to the knobs and twisted the water off, the water running down his body in rivulets. Joey smiled hazily, her body attuned to his every movement. They stepped out of the shower stall and toweled one another dry, laughing and teasing each other amid the flurry of carresses and kisses as they made their way back to the bedroom.