Joey was singing along with the radio as it played an old Boys II Men song, "I'll make love to you, like you want me to...and I'll hold you tight. Baby, all through the night..." She swayed her hips from side to side as she peeled the potatoes and sung.

Pacey leaned against the doorjamb, his large hands buried deep in his pockets, his head tilted to the side as he watched her through tender eyes. She held the potato peeler up to her mouth and sang along as she did a little seductive shimmy to the music. His mouth went dry.

Singing had always been thereputic for Joey, she put all her excess emotion into the music and let it take her away. "Baby tonight is your night, and I will do you right. Just make a wish on your night, anything that you ask. I will give you the love of your life, your-" She stopped up short as she spotted Pacey mid-turn.

He smiled as he cheeks flushed a bright red, "You will, huh?" He teased.

"At one point I thought I had."

Damn her. Did she have to say that with such blunt honesty? "You think you did?" He stepped into the room.

"Can we not have this conversation? It was the past. Over and done with, right?" She shrugged her shoulders flippantly.

The last hour spent in his parents room, looking at her birth certificate had given him more than enough time to think. Probably too much. "Maybe it's over, but it's certainly not done."

She arched an eyebrow at him. "You made it pretty clear this morning that you were done."

He offered her an awkward smile. "I'm sorry about that. Could we just chalk it up to male stupidity?" As horrible as the information he'd inadvertantly uncovered was, part of him couldn't help but feel glad that she wasn't going to be on her way anytime soon.

Joey shifted her weight to the side, regarding him with reserve. "What exactly are you suggesting. That you want me to stay here?"

"I said you could stay until you found whatever you're looking for, didn't I?"

She turned away from him to rince off the potatoes before she put them in the pot to boil. "I didn't ask you what you said, Pacey. I asked you what you wanted."

He frowned at her back as he stepped into the warm kitchen. "What I want?"

She whirled around on him, her eyes flashing in annoyance. "Yes, Pacey. That's the million dollar question. Do you want me to stay?"

"Of course I do," he sat down at one of the kitchen chairs and tried to appear as casual as possible, like it didn't really matter to him whether she stayed or not. "I mean, you're a great cook, the perfect bed mate and occasionally a good conversationalist."

She let her eyes fall to the floor, "Then I guess there's really no reason for me to leave yet, is there?"

He stood up and approached her, tilting her chin up so she met his eyes. "I hate to admit it, Potter," he gave her a wry smile, "but I kinda missed you these last few years. I'd like to be friends again."

She gazed into his blue eyes, searching them for something more, anything more. But they were too closely guarded. She finally gave him a weak smile, "Do you usually sleep with all your friends?"

"Only the foxy brunette artists." He smiled charmingly at her, leaning forward to give her a soft kiss.

The world spun around Joey with the gentle touch of his lips to hers. Up until that point, every kiss they shared had been passionate and hot. This was equally as all consuming, but for a different reason. This kiss contained emotion.

She broke away with a whispered sigh, and looked into his shocked blue eyes. "Pacey," she touched the back of her hand to his cheek, "I think I-"

"Shhh," he covered her lips with his index finger, the look in her eyes spoke more than her words ever would, and he didn't want to hear her say it. Maybe if she didn't voice what she felt it wouldn't be real. As faulty as that logic was, he clung to it. He kissed her temple, "So, what's for dinner?"

She sighed and moved away from him. "Mashed potatoes, meatloaf and canned pears."

"Canned?" He questioned, moving to the stove to check on the meat loaf.

"Yeah, you're kinda low on vegetables."

"Hmm, We can survive on fruit for a while, I think." He started setting the table.

"So, Did you find anything today?" She wondered as she dropped the potatoes into the boiling water.

"Uh," he was careful to not look at her as he pulled two plates from the cupboard. "No, nothing. The attic was mostly junk. And a lot of dust."

She shifted her weight. "I-I did," she spoke hesitently. "It was your mom's diary, it was back behind the china cabinet." She eyed him carefully. His face gave away no emotion. "I...I proabably shouldn't have read it...but I did."

"You did?" He arched an eyebrow at her.

"Yes, I'm sorry, Pace. But I thought...I was curious. I thought maybe there'd be mention of why she was blackmailing my family."

"Was there?" He seemed very curious now.

"No, well...sorta. She mentioned...she said..." Her brow furrowed as she tried to figure out how to put what she'd found into words.

He smirked teasingly, "Well, come out with it, Potter."

"Did...did you know your mom was on drugs?" She blurted.

"My mom was what?" he laughed chokingly.

Joey didn't seem amused. "She was taking drugs...I'm not sure which ones. She just wrote how my dad was due for another drop off." She frowned, watching Pacey carefully, hoping he wouldn't react too badly to the news. "She said how good they made her feel. She was flying pretty high there for a long time, Pace."

"Well....wow." He shook his head, trying to digest the new information. His mom was a druggie? "Did-did my dad know?"

"I think so." She checked on the potatoes and then put a cover over them. "But then, if my dad was her supplier, why would your dad arrest him?"

Pacey came out of his daze and continued to set the kitchen table. "Very strange. Maybe...I donno. Maybe he got tired of my mom using drugs? Or someone else at the precinct found out about your Dad's dealings. He wouldn't have much of a choice then would he?"

"Good point," she sighed. "But wouldn't the blackmail become null and void at that point?"

"It probably did. I mean, whatever paper it was that my parents held against yours never turned up after that? You didn't even hear about it until recently, right?"

"I guess you're right." She frowned leaning back against the counter. "But even so, whatever it is, I can't just let it stay missing. Family secrets should stay in the family."

"That's not always true," he said quietly, moving closer to her. "You know, an ignorance is bliss kinda thing?"

"Your mother played a part in putting my dad in jail, Pacey. I'd at least like to know what was at stake."

"Your dad would have been dealing regardless, Joey."

"You don't know that!" She said, anger flashing in her eyes. "Maybe if your mom hadn't wanted that next hit, my dad wouldn't have died alone in that jail cell! Maybe he could watched Bessie and I grow up. Maybe he could have met his grandson!" Her voice cracked and the tears of anger stung her eyes. "Maybe none of this had to happen..."

"Oh, Joey..." He folded her into his arms. "We can't change the past..." He couldn't think of anything else to say. Nothing that came to mind was the least bit comforting. Softly, he rubbed her back as her shoulders shook.

"It's just not fair..." she mumbled. "Everyone...they just keep leaving me."

"I know, Potter." He whispered into her hair, "I know." He held her until she'd calmed down enough to pull away.

"God, I hate it when I get this way." She wiped her eyes, keeping them averted from his.

"What way?"

"Whiny and pathetic."

He smiled at her, "I don't know...I find it kind of endearing the way you hid your face in my neck."

She let out a watery giggle, "You would."

"I also find it endearing when you roll your eyes like that." He took her hand in his and held it to his chest. "It's also endearing the way your brow wrinkles when you're angry. How you put a slice of lemon in my iced tea. How your face lights up when you laugh. And that little purr you make when we're in bed..." He smiled as she blushed, lifting her hand he placed a gentle kiss on her palm.

She let out a shakey sigh, "What are you doing, Pacey?"

"I'm going to make love to you..." He lifted her hand and trailed slow kisses up her arm to her elbow.

"I though you wanted me to leave."

"No." He shook his head, "I wanted to put distance between us."

"...And now you don't?" She asked hesitantly.

"It's just that, now..." He splayed her fingers and kissed the tip of each one. "I know that I don't need to put distance between us. It's already there." He brushed a few strands of hair behind her ear, "It wont make any difference whether we go our seperate ways now or at the last possible minute."

"And that's what you want." Part of her hoped he'd contridict her statement.

"You have something else in mind?" He skimmed his lips over her arm, placing a warm kiss at her elbow.

"No," she shook her head softly. "Of course not."

Pacey stared into her eyes for a moment, he felt an ache in the pit of his stomach, like he was doing something horribly wrong.

She shifted her weight to the side, growing uncomfortable under his penetrating gaze. "So, are you gonna kiss me or what?"

"Yeah, I was thinking about it," he smiled teasingly at her, moving his hands to cup her face.

"Well, the longer you wait, the better chance that I'm going to burn dinner." She reminded him.

"And we wouldn't want that now would we?" He mumured, lowering his lips to hers. After a few seconds, he parted her lips and met her tongue with his.

"I'm suddenly not so hungry for dinner now..." she whispered against his lips, wrapping her arms around his shoulders.

"Me neither," he swept an arm under her knees and lifted her up.

"What on earth are you doing?" She laughed.

His mouth titled in a mischevious smile as he headed for the stairs. "I'm going to go satisfy your hunger."

She smiled and wound her arms around his neck. How was it possible for him to make her suddenly forget all her problems? When she was with him, he made her feel like there was nothing quite as important as them. If she let herself think about that, it upset her knowing he didn't feel the same.

So she didn't let herself think about it.