Disclaimer: How many of these things have I written? I mean seriously, I think I should count... 74... I have written seventy-FREAKING-four disclaimers since I started writing fan fic. And they all say the same thing.... I DO NOT OWN THE CHARACTERS! Why would this one be any different? I don't own the song either; it's by Billy Joel.
Dedication: To my dear friend Dannie, the Joey to my Pacey. I kept her up until the middle of the night when she was sick writing fic with me. Thank you dear, we make a great team!

"Will you send her in?" Pacey wheezed from the cold hospital bed. Dawson Leery winced, hearing the rattle of liquid in the back of his friend's throat. Pacey pulled his oxygen mask back over his face inhaling the concentrated molecules.

Dawson nodded and rose from the uncomfortable chair he'd been sitting in for the last 15 minutes. He was torn between wanting to stay with his injured friend and seeking the refuge and support; of his friends and family; who all waited just down the hall. He'd never been one to handle reality too well. Pacey had solved that dilemma for him.

At the door, Dawson turned and took one last look at his battered friend of twenty-five years. He smiled tightly for Pacey, not really succeeding. The other man almost looked normal, pale and tired; but still much like his old self minus the broken arm and leg from where the ski lift had crashed down upon him. It wasn't his appearance that left Dawson feeling ill at ease. It wasn't even their previous conversation; they'd tried to keep that as upbeat and optimistic as possible.

Something just wasn't right with Pacey... and he couldn't put his finger on what it was. Pacey was lying back on the bed, his eyes squeezed tightly against the bright light of the morning sun reflecting off the snow outside. His jaw was set against some unimaginable pain. Dawson frowned as he looked away, he tried hard to force down the gnawing feeling in the pit of his stomach.

The waiting room at the end of the hall was crowded with Pacey's friends; his family members were conspicuously missing. Bessie, Bodie, Mitch, and Gail were talking quietly at one corner of the room each nursing a cup of coffee. Jen, Joey, Andie, and Jack were occupying the other end, wide smiles plastered on their faces.

Jen spotted him first; she rushed to his side. "Good news! The doctor said he was stable!" Dawson wrapped her in a tight hug, a smile spreading across his lips. "That's great!" He picked Jen up and twirled her in a circle. "So they said he'd be okay?"

Joey nodded and smiled happily. "He asked for you, Jo." Dawson told her. She gave him a quick hug and left the waiting room, walking briskly down the stark white hallway she'd come to hate. She'd been there for nearly 19 hours, and awake for more than 24. It had been one hell of a day.

That weekend she and Pacey were on a ski trip, that's where he'd had his accident Saturday morning. She'd been waiting impatiently at the hospital since they flew him in at one P.M. Forced to wait, she couldn't do anything except call their friends and family. By the time they'd arrived in St. Francis Memorial, he'd been declared stable. She'd visited with him quietly for a few moments, and then let the others in while she anxiously waited for someone to tell her what was wrong with him.

She smiled again as she passed Dawson, finally it was her turn again. She paused at the doorway. "Knock, knock," she said lightly as she entered, doing her best to ignore his haggard appearance and the various machines surrounding him.

Pacey pulled the oxygen mask away from his face, "Hey, Jo." He smiled slowly, ignoring the pain that wracked his body.

"So, I was talking with Jen," she sat down in the same chair Dawson had recently vacated and took Pacey's hand in hers. "And she said we could probably sue the ski resort for negligence. You'd never have to work again." She smiled.

He returned the smile weakly, "Have you slept?� he asked shifting the focus of the conversation.

Joey shrugged. "Not really."

"Come here," he whispered tenderly holding his arm out in invitation for her to join him on the bed.

"There's no way I'd fit." She shook her head.

"I'll make room."

"I don't want to hurt you."

"It's worth it." His eyes pled with hers.

"Fine but I want no complaints if I hog all the covers." She tried to joke lightly slipping out of her shoes. Pacey smile tightly at her and scooted over to the edge of the bed holding the covers open so she could slide in. She slid in beside him doing her best to disturb him as little as possible. She rested on her hip facing him, his arm under her head. She tentatively laid her arm across his stomach feeling his muscles clench under her touch she immediately withdrew her hand.

"No," he insisted. He put his arm over hers holding her there.

She looked into his eyes concern evident. "Are you sure?"

"I want you here."

She smiled and resisted the urge to give him a tight hug. Instead, she kissed him tenderly on the cheek. "So, did the doctor talk to you? He wouldn't tell us a damned thing. Nothing more than that you were stable."

"Yeah, he came." He answered shortly.

"Their rules are so stupid. Just because we weren't family they wouldn't tell us a thing." She continued. "We're practically married and he wouldn't tell me anything." She complained.

They'd gone to the mountain in celebration of their one-year anniversary, having recently reunited in Boston after college. The sparks were still there even after all they'd been through.

He'd asked her to move in with him just yesterday and she'd agreed happily. It seemed like ages ago, Joey thought. They'd gone skiing the next morning. After their fourth run, Joey decided to call it quits and took a coffee break in the lodge while Pacey continued without her.

It was there that she heard about the accident. The ski lift had malfunctioned and one of the chairs crashed to the ground. No one had said yet if anyone was injured as the staff rushed out of the lodge to check it out. About 20 minutes later while she was anxiously waiting for Pacey to return, one of the staff members finally located her.

He was already on his way to the hospital when the woman found her and told her what had happened, apologizing profusely the entire time. Joey was peeling out of the parking lot within minutes.

"I guess it doesn't really matter anymore. I'm here now and you're going to be just fine." She sighed. "So what exactly did the doctor tell you?" She yawned into his shoulder.

"Not much, Jo." He caressed her arm.

"What do you mean, 'not much'? He's required to tell you. What's going on?" Her alarm was growing.

Pacey swallowed and stared up at the ceiling. "He said-" he paused, "that the pain would fade."

"How long?" She asked breathing a sigh of relief.

"He, uh, didn't know...but soon, I think."

"Well, that's good." Her smile turned into another yawn. "So, exactly what was wrong with you? They don't keep people in ICU for twelve hours for a broken leg."

"It turned out to be nothing, really." His voice was low.

"Pacey," she warned.

"They were worried about internal bleeding and they thought I may have punctured a lung."

"Did you?"

"They didn't treat me for anything." He replied ambiguously.

"Damn it, Pacey. Tell me what they told you." She demanded. He pulled his oxygen mask over his face and inhaled deeply a few times.

"Joey, you need to get some sleep."

"I know, and I will, as soon as you tell me what the damn doctor said!" She frowned fiercely at him.

"Sleep, Jo. All I want is to lay here with you tonight. I need to feel you in my arms, warm, safe, and healthy."

"But-"

"Close your eyes, Potter," he whispered running his fingers through the tangles in her hair.

"No, Pacey. Tell me."

He swallowed hard, and his next words were thick in his throat. "Joey, I'm-I'm not..." He tried to tell her, the words on the tip of his tongue. "Just tonight, Joey. Can we please just lay here?" He pleaded with her to understand without having to say the words.

Goodnight, My Angel
Now it's time to close your eyes
and save these questions for another time
I think I know what you've been asking me
I think you know what I've been trying to say

"Yeah sure, Pace." She conceded quietly feeling properly chastised for her demands. She snuggled against him aware that he felt cooler in her arms than he should. Pacey pulled the mask back over his face; his breathing had grown difficult again. He concentrated on the woman in his arms, his angel.

It had been a blessing when they'd run into each other thirteen months earlier. Joey was working in advertising and Pacey had recently gotten a promotion in his company. They'd worked together to formulate an ad campaign for the law offices of Casper Dean and Stiller. It wasn't long before the two became an exclusive item. It took a while to work past the issues that remained from their stifled high school romance.

Joey brought much needed perspective into Pacey's life at the time. She forced him to re-evaluate his love'em and leave'em lifestyle. She ended up being the one woman he couldn't leave...until now.

Pacey rubbed her back gently as he flashed back in time twelve months earlier.

~~~~~~~~

"Where are you going?" she asked suddenly sitting up in bed. Her hands clutched the sheets tightly, holding them against her naked body.

"Home, Potter." He answered flippantly pulling his arms through the sleeves of his dress shirt hurriedly.

"Why?"

He didn't answer and began hooking the buttons of his shirt. "Pacey, why are you leaving?� Her voice rose in both volume and pitch.

He glanced at her quickly, and then looked away immediately ignoring the panicked look in her eyes. "It's late."

"Then sleep here."

"No, I can't." He glanced around her cluttered bedroom searching for his wayward shoe. "I'm going to go.

"Oh, no you're not, Witter. No way. No how." She scurried across the bed and stood in front of the bedroom door blocking his escape route.

"What's your problem?" He asked mystified.

"I'm not letting you leave."

He continued to look for his missing shoe. "And why not?" he asked deciding to humor her while he was busy hunting down his shoe.

"Because, if you leave, you'll never come back." She answered softly.

That caught his full attention. "What?!"

"She swallowed and looked away from his darkened eyes. "I-I know that if you leave, you'll never come back."

"And exactly how do you know that?" he sputtered. "We've barely even talked in five years."

"Dawn?"

"Who?"

"Dawn Falkner." She frowned angrily as he continued to look at her blankly. "My co-worker?! You worked with her before you fucked her senseless than left the next morning with out even a goodbye! Then you acted like nothing had happened the next day!" Pacey looked away, avoiding the angry look in her eyes.

"You know, she warned me about you. As odd as your name is, I thought it *had* be a different Pacey, you wouldn't act like that. Or maybe that she was bitter because you dumped her or something." She sniffled. "But she was right, wasn't she?" She wiped at the corner of her eye angrily, "I should have listened to her. You were going to use me and leave me the exact same way you left her; you bastard!" She spat.

The tears were falling hard and fast now. "Was it too much to expect that you'd be different with me? That when you gave yourself, you gave your heart too?! God, Pacey, you loved me once... is there nothing left of that? God, it was such a mistake to trust you. To think that this could be more than just a fucking one night stand to you." Pacey continued to stare at her blankly.

"Damn it Pacey, do something! Defend yourself! Try to slink out of here! Yell, scream do something!" She cried through her tears. "You loved me once..." She sank into the chair near the door, her head between her hands as her shoulder shook. "Leave, Pacey. You know you want to."

He stood there tensely. His eyes squeezed tightly shut as if too keep her words from penitrating. The shoe in his hand dangled slightly. It slipped from his fingers and fell to the floor with a thump. He opened his eyes and mechanically began unbuttoning his shirt.

It was a minute before she realized that she hadn't heard the door open or close. She lifted her head and saw him slipping out of his pants. "What are you doing?"

"Staying."

"What? Why?"

"Because, you're right. I did love you once upon a time... and I never stopped." He sat down on the edge of her bed.

"If you never stopped then what's different now than two minutes ago when you were seconds away from leaving?" She asked coldly.

"Two minutes ago I didn't know you felt the same."

Her eyes widened. "I never said that," she replied quickly.

"No, you didn't," he said acting like that was obvious. He reclined across the bed tucking his hands underneath his head.

"Then how did you know?"

"I didn't." He smiled mischievously. "But I do now."

"You little prick," she cried indignantly. Jumping across the room she pounced on him letting the sheet fall to the floor as she did so.

It didn't take long for Pacey to pin her beneath him, a position pleasing to them both. "I love you, Jo,� he whispered looking down into her warm eyes. "And as long as you'll have me, I *promise*, I'll never leave you. I swear."

She caressed the side of his face with her hand. "Never, huh?" He nodded. "I don't think that's long enough, Pace." Her arm curved around his neck pulling his mouth down to hers.

~~~~~~~

I promised I would never leave you
And you should always know
No matter where you may go
No matter where you are
I never will be far away

The heavy breath that tickled his skin signaling that she was asleep brought him out of his reverie. He tenderly kissed her temple smelling her hair as he did so.

It might as well have been for the last time. There would be no more passionate kisses, no more long talks into the early morning hours, no more gin tournaments to decide who had to wash the dishes, no more holding hands on the sidewalk, no more heated nights by the fireplace and no more �I love you�s.

There would never be a moving day when they moved all her stuff into his apartment. There would never be the summer vacation back to the Florida Keys. There would never be the house with the big front yard with the dog and kids playing in it. There would never be a Mrs. Joey Witter.

"I'm sorry, Jo," he murmured his voice thick. "I know I promised." He swallowed back the lump in his throat. Despite the fact that she was asleep, he had to say this. "I don�t want to go. I never wanted to leave you, not back in high school and certainly not now." Hot tears burned behind his eyelids. "I love you, Potter. Never forget that. No matter where you are, or what you're doing, I'll be with you.

"Always be with you," he whispered breathlessly.

He pulled the oxygen mask back over his face and inhaled sharply, trying to get his breath back. Tears streamed down his pale cheeks, soaking into the cloth of the pillow behind his head. He felt Joey shudder beside him. His eyes popped open and he knew she'd been awake. And crying.

"No, Pacey," she mumbled her voice watery as she tilted her head to look into his eyes. "You're lying." He watched the emotions play across her face. The anger, the fear, and the sorrow. "You're not going to die." She commanded the terror in her eyes so vivid; he'd give anything not to be the cause of it. "No, Pacey. No." Sobs wracked her body, shaking the bed. He shut his eyes to her. There was nothing he could say to ease her pain.

He was going to die and there was nothing he could do about it. He could feel the darkness creeping into his body. The doctors had found nothing wrong with him but he knew it was there, eating away the life in him.

"Shh, Joey," he whispered through the mask caressing her hair gently aiming to soothe her. "Please don't cry," he pleaded even as his own tears began to fall again. He quelled the urge to tell her it would all be okay, knowing the words held no truth. He didn't want her last memories of him to be of lies and tears.

Goodnight, my angel
Now it's time to sleep
And still so many things I want to say

"What else am I supposed to do, Pacey?" She cried trying her best to get her tears to cease. "You're dy-" She couldn't bring herself to say the words. "There's not much else I can do."

He moved the oxygen mask away with difficulty. "I love you, Joey," he said loudly and clearly looking intently into her red rimmed brown eyes.

"I love you too, Pacey," she said through her tears, "I'll always love you." She caressed the side of his face with the back of her hand.

"Don't go all "Body Guard" on me now." He forced a smile.

Remember all the songs you sang to me
When we went sailing on a emerald bay
And like a boat out on the ocean
I'm rocking you to sleep
The water's dark
And deep inside this ancient heart
You'll always be a part of me

"What was that song you sang?" He whispered in the dark. He could hear her uneven breathing beside him. He had hoped she'd fall asleep. He should have known she wouldn't let herself.

"What song, Pace?"

"On the boat, the summer before our senior year."

"Oh, yeah." She smiled against his shoulder; it had been the most memorable summer of her life. It was as fresh in her mind now as it had been that very summer. The sparkling ocean, the magnificent sunsets. His vibrant smile, his delightful eyes, his soft lips and warm body. Everything that was he came crashing over her. "Which one?" She questioned around a growing lump in her throat.

They'd passed their time on the boat fishing, talking drawing, writhing, dancing, and singing. There wasn't a hell of a lot to do out on the empty ocean. They'd entertained each other any way they could. Pacey loved to hear her sing.

"The one you sang late at night."

"I sang you a lot of songs, Pace," She said gently hating herself for her faulty memory.

He removed the mask from his face and took a deep breath. Staring deeply into her eyes, he began to sing:

"Goodnight, my angel
Now it's time to dream
And dream how wonderful your life will be,"

He sang slowly doing his best to remember the words through the darkening fog of his mind. Joey could feel the tears build behind her eyes as she joined him.

"Someday your child may cry
And if you sing this lullaby
Then in your heart
There will always be a part of me."

His voice faded to a faint whisper. He fought to keep his eyes open and failed. A tear fell and she lifted the oxygen mask back to his face fully aware that he didn't have the strength to do it himself. She felt a terrifying moment of panic where she wasn't sure he was breathing. After a moment, she tuned into the faint rise and fall of his chest.

He wouldn't last much longer, she hated admitting it to her herself. But if she didn't...their last moments together would be spent in denial. She swallowed the thick lump in her throat and propped herself up on one elbow so she could see his face clearly. "I love you, Pace," she whispered taking one of his hands in hers. She felt him tighten his fingers around hers, a sure sign he had heard her.

She smiled through her tears and began to sing the last verse of the song; her voice wavering as she tried to hold back the sobs aching to escape.

"Someday we'll all be gone
But lullaby�s go on and on
They never die
That's how
you and I
Will be."

Her voice caught on the last words, her throat aching as she tried in vain to hold back the fresh wave of tears. She felt his grip on her hand go lax. He took a deep breath shuddering breath, his body's last-ditch effort to hold onto life, and exhaled slowly. She waited with baited breath for him to inhale again.

He never did.

The End....
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