HOW TO BUILD MUSCLE
LIKE A FREAKIN' ROID MONKEY
Adhere to these rules as closely as you can. You will build muscle mass faster than most people think possible, even if you are a hardgainer.
- Eat a mostly carb snack a half hour/1 hour before
you hit the gym.
- Before you workout, stretch the muscle groups
you're going to be working. You actually build muscle
faster and safer this way.
- Take a protein drink with creatine and about 45
grams of sugar or dextrose before your
workout!
- Drink lots of water. The protein/creatine drink
you just drank will pull in water into the muscles as
you workout and facilitate recuperation.
- Do 3 sets, 6-10 reps and about 3 to 5 exercises
per body part. Make sure you completely exhaust the
muscle.
- Always, always, always go slow on the
eccentric portion of the exercise. I know it's called
weightlifting, but it's actually the lowering
of the weight that creates the most micro-tears in the
muscle.
- The mind/muscle connection is ultra important
here. It actually works! Visualize the muscle group
you're working fool!
- Never workout longer than an hour. DO NOT do
cardio before or after weights (ok, 10 minutes
before to get a light sweat going, no more).
Immediately drink 50 grams of protein w/ 45-100
grams of sugar and creatine after your workout.
This is critical, as this is a major anabolic window
of opportunity. Don't chat with a buddy, don't gawk at
the chick in tight spandex, go directly to your
protein shake. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.
Nuff said.
- After the protein shake, take 800 UI of beta
carotene, 1500 grams of vitamin C and 400 (I think)
grams of vitamin E to fight off free radicals.
- Within 45 minutes of all this, your final step is
to eat a bowl of oatmeal with raisins which will
refill glycogen stores which not only help muscle
recovery, but make your muscles look huge and "juicy".
- Also remember to view yourself in the mirror. What
do you want to change about yourself? What needs work?
What body part is over-developed (if any) and could
use some de-emphasis?
You decide how you want to look.
- Eat like a pig, but eat quality low fat food. Tuna
is very cheap for the amount of protein you get. Also
stock up on eggs (high in amino acids) and chicken (I
eat the nasty canned stuff). Protein bars are
necessary for when you're in a rush, at work or
hankering for something sweet. Never, ever let
yourself feel hungry!! Eat at least 1.5 grams of
protein per pound of bodyweight.
- Last, but certainly not least important, is to eat
several times at night. Eat slow digesting cottage
cheese before bed, and drink protein shakes/eat lean
meat at least once during the night. It makes a huge
difference.
10 WAYS
TO SURVIVE YOUR DIVORCE
Maybe you can glean some comfort or understanding from my misery and mistakes. Here are the 10 most important things I've learned about enduring a divorce.
(BTW I'm much, much happier now. It takes time, but you'll adjust like I have. There is hope for happiness!)
- If you have children, focus on them and their emotional healing
first. They are hurting too. Give them all the love you can.
Strengthen the parent/child relationship even as everything else
around you falls apart. Later, they will be there for you as you
struggle to rebuild your life.
- Don't get worked up about material posessions. You will likely lose
most or all of it due to legal costs, loss of income due to illness
and depression and your ex's greediness. Enjoy the simple things.
- Don't jump into another relationship right away. You may not
realise it but you'll be a basketcase for at least a year (probably
two), especially if the relationship being severed was 5 years or
longer.
- If you haven't already, join the gym or engage in a
stress-relieving physical excersise. You'll feel better and look
better to boot. Quit smoking and eat healthy. Stop drinking booze, at
least for now.
- Avoid depressing music (the Staind album has got to go!) and don't
hesitate for a second to take anti-depressants if it will help you.
- Pray and meditate often. Find peace. Learn how to access it when
you need it. Jesus Christ -the Prince of Peace- lives and loves you.
He doesn't want to see His children suffer anymore than you want to
see your children suffer. Ask for help and you will receive. Refer
back to rule #1.
- DO NOT make any radical changes to your life. Don't quit your job,
don't change your hair color, don't buy a new car. Give it at least a
year. I made the mistake of buying new clothes shortly after my wife
left me. I ended up with all these shirts with skulls on them! I guess
I was pissed... and I wasted alot of money on clothes I won't wear
now! I recommend just getting in great shape, as any other extreme
changes to your image will only show weakness to your ex and attract
attention you don't need.
- Time to get really good at something. Develop a new hobby or skill.
Learn a new language. I got into bodybuilding and it has helped me
feel better about myself.
- Learn to budget. Money will become more elusive now you are
divorced and on the hook for child support, spousal support and God
knows what else. Sit down and figure out how much is coming in and
what is going out. Make child support a top priority because (in my
personal experience anyway) when that crucial payment is missed, not
only did I have to pay it off later, but I didn't get to see my kids.
Who knows what story my ex gave the children as to why I wasn't seeing
them when I was only a little careless with my spending for that
month. This brings me to my final point...
- Never talk negatively to your children about their father/mother.
The temptation may be there, and it can be hard to resist in a moment
of inflamed emotion, but hold your tongue. Talking bad about your
ex-spouse only makes you look weak and bitter, and inflicts suffering
on your children who are dealing with enough already. Take the high
road.
LINKS OF HYPER
PROJECTS I'M WORKING ON
I've written a book on the Ketogenic Diet. It's tentatively entitled The Keto Plan, and although this book is not completely finished, it's very much in the final stages. I'd like to share it with y'all, so please give it a gander if you're interested with diet and weight loss.
I'm currently accepting web design jobs, so if you'd like to keep me busy working instead of loitering outside Mac's Milk, email me or check out my business page which may or may not still be under construction.
Oh yeah, I'm a huge music junky. I'm always spelunking the deep recesses of the internet for the latest sound. So in the same spirit as WIRED magazine's "What's on your iPod", I'll put up my top 10 faves for the moment. I'll call it:
WHAT'S ON MY PIECE O' CRAP
128 MP3 PLAYER
[01] Graham Coxon / Freakin' out
[02] Vast / Touched
[03] Chevelle / Emotional Drought
[04] Lo-Pro / Not Me
[05] Sloth / You Can't Look Away
[06] Seether / Sold Me
[07] Earshot / Down
[08] Helmet / Crashing Foreign Cars
[09] Rival Schools / Favorite Star
[10] Edgewater / Quitter
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