• 3.28.05, 10:34pm - With
Apologies to Abbott and
Costello: A conversation that has probably taken place
more than once today...
PERSON #1: "Guess Who" took first place at the box office over
the weekend.
PERSON #2: Who?
PERSON #1: "Guess Who."
PERSON #2: I don't know, just tell me.
PERSON #1: I just did.
PERSON #2: No, you didn't.
PERSON #1: Yes, I did. "Guess Who."
PERSON #2: I don't know who!
PERSON #1: No, "
Guess
Who."
PERSON #2: No!
PERSON #1: No, what?
PERSON #2: I'm not going to guess!
PERSON #1: You don't have to. I just told you.
PERSON #2: No, you didn't!
PERSON #1: Yes, I did! I said "Guess Who" took first place
at the box office.
PERSON #2: Yeah...
PERSON #1: Yeah.
PERSON #2: And...?
PERSON #1: And what?
PERSON #2: You said "Guess Who" took first place.
PERSON #1: Yes.
PERSON #2: But you didn't tell me who.
PERSON #1: Yes, I did!
PERSON #2: One of these days, Alice...
• 3.9.05, 10:51pm -
RIP: You came home with
us on a Saturday. You didn't react to us very much, but somehow I
knew you appreciated the care that we showed you.
But as the newness wore off, the care wasn't careful. It became
routine--a routine that I fell out of. The cleanings became
sporadic. The play time disappeared.
Through it all, you became less and less interested. Not just in
us, but in the world around you. Perhaps it was because you
weren't even aware there was world outside your small home.
Last weekend, I noticed you were starting to fall
apart...literally. I went to the store to get you medicine, but
just as I had "forgotten" to clean up after you for so many weeks, so
did I "forget" to give you the treatment you needed--at least for a few
days.
You died on a Tuesday--only 30 minutes after I administered the
treatment. It seems I must have been mistaken when I thought the
medicine would help. You were gone, and it was my fault.
I wanted to give you a proper burial. I felt it was the least you
deserved.
But then I figured, "What the hell. It's just a fish."
So I flushed you down the toilet.
Rest in pieces, little buddy!
Happy
2004-2005
(By the way, this isn't a picture of you. I never took a picture
of you. This was the closest thing I could find on the internet.)
