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Dear Diary

 
August 12    Moved to our new home in Rhode Island. It is so beautiful here, the hills are so majestic. I can hardly wait to see snow covering them.

October 14    Rhode Island is the most beautiful place on earth.  The leaves are turning the colors and shades of red and orange.  Went for a ride through the beautiful country roads and saw some deer.  They are so graceful.  Certainly they are the most wonderful animal on earth.  This must be paradise.  I love it here.

November 11  Deer season will start soon.  I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such a gorgeous creature.  Hope it will snow soon.  I love it here.

December 2   It snowed last night.  Woke up to find everything blanketed with white.  It looked like a postcard.  We went outside and cleaned the snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway.  We had a snowball fight (I won), and when the snow-plow came by, we had to shovel the driveway again.  What a beautiful place.  I love Rhode Island.

December 12  More snow last night.  I love it...The snow-plow did its trick again to the driveway!  I love it here.

December 19  More snow last night.  Couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work.  I am exhausted from shoveling.  Friggen snow-plow!

December 22  More of that white s@&% fell last night.  I've got blisters on my hands from shoveling.  I think the snow-plow hides around the corner and waits until I'm done shoveling the driveway.  Icehole!

December 25  Merry Friggin Christmas.  More friggin snow.  If I ever get my hands on that son-of-a-#@% who drives the snow-plow, I swear I'll kill the bastard!  Don't know why they don't use more salt on the roads to melt the friggin ice.

December 27  More white s@#% last night!  Been inside for three days except for shoveling out the driveway after that snow-plow goes through every time.  Can't go anywhere, the car is stuck in a mountain of white s@#%.  The weatherman says to expect another 10" of the s@#% again tonight.  Do you know how many shovels full of snow 10" is?

December 28  The friggen weatherman was wrong!  We got 24" of that white s@#% this time.  At this rate, it won't melt before the summer.  The snow-plow got stuck in the road and that bastard came to the door and asked to borrow my shovel.  After I told him I had broken six shovels already; shoveling all the s@#% he pushed into the driveway.  I broke my last one over his friggen head!

January 4  Finally got out of the house today.  Went to the store to get food and on the way back, a dammed deer ran out in front of the car and I hit it.  Did about $3,000 worth of damage to the car. Those friggin beasts should be shot.  I wish the hunters had killed them all last November.

May 3  Took the car to the garage in town.  Would you believe the thing is rusting out from that friggin salt they put all over the roads.

May 10  Moved back to Arizona.  I can't imagine why anyone in their right mind would ever live in that God-forsaken state of Rhode Island.

 

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