Indigo Overture – Chapter Ten

Rating:  Eventually NC17 – for this chapter – PG-13

 

If he wasn’t a rock and roll vocalist, Angel was pretty sure he’d be a music executive.  Preferably one with a lobby like this one.  IYF Promotions had a lobby dominated by light, most of it provided by the twin walls of windows that flanked the east and west side of the room.  The carpet was plush, the furniture was high end and the air had that crisp sterile smell that Angel always associated with money and power. 

 

He pressed his lips together and tapped the arms of his leather chair thoughtfully. At the back of the lobby a wide cherry desk housed not one, but two receptionists.  One directed visitors through a set of glass doors behind her; the other briskly managed the phone calls that apparently poured in at an endless rate; or at least had been doing so since he’d been here.

 

Angel checked his watch.  It was going on 9:34.  Buffy had been ushered through the glass doors for her interview thirty-two minutes ago, which he was thinking was a good thing.  If they weren’t interested, she’d probably be done by now.  Angel tugged on the cuff of his dress shirt and turned when he heard voices at the front entrance doors.

 

“I’m so sorry, ma’am,” a delivery boy said as he picked up a stack of overnight envelopes he’d apparently dropped when they collided in the doorway. 

 

“Don’t think a thing of it,” the girl said as she pulled off her sunglasses and stepped around the mess.

 

Angel furrowed his brow as she walked past.  She looked familiar. Pretending to read his Wall Street Journal, he eyed her surreptitiously as she passed. 

 

“May I help you?” the receptionist asked, and the raven-haired beauty rested an arm on the cherry desk and sighed dramatically.

 

“Yes, I’m Nicole Price, here for Mr. Sutherland,” the girl said and Angel frowned.  He didn’t know the name, but she was still strikingly familiar.  Slender and pale-skinned with big doe eyes. 

 

The receptionist glanced at the computer before responding, “Oh, yes, Ms. Price.  His office is the third door on the left.”

 

“Thank you,” she said and when she smiled, her eyes took on a kind of dreamy, faraway look that practically made Angel snap his fingers in recognition.  The girl resembled Drusilla, especially around the eyes. 

 

Nicole walked through the glass doors and out of view, while Angel’s thoughts wandered to days when a strikingly similar girl had lived in his flat.  He could still picture her, her body lost in her long flowing skirts, her mind lost to the celestial wonders she prattled on continuously about.  Funny how a girl like that could end up in his life.  Funnier still that she came with a guy like Spike nipping at her heels.

 

Angel smiled bitterly, remembering the night in the pub when he’d first met them.  The place had been packed with the university crowd, the smell of clove cigarettes and stale beer heavy in the air.  Darla and he had watched the two of them from a corner for several minutes before they’d even sat down.

 

“They’re babies, Dar,” he’d scoffed looking across the crowded pub to the tall table where Drusilla and William sat nursing what he would later discover were the first alcoholic beverages of their lives, “They wouldn’t even be entertaining.  Let’s just go.”

 

“No, no,” his then girlfriend had protested, hand on his arm and a gleam in her eye, “I know they’re babies.  Just look at them.”

 

“I’m looking at a pencil-necked geek with glasses fawning over a very mediocre brunette.”

 

“Spike” was a far cry from his current self with wire-rimmed glasses and longish curly brown hair that he obsessively tugged and blew out of his eyes.  Pretty girls were damn near sprouting up from the musty wooden floor, but Spike was oblivious with Drusilla in the room.  His fingers picking at the cardboard coaster beneath his drink while his eyes jittered back and forth between Drusilla and the table.  She wasn’t hard on the eyes, but she wasn’t the kind of girl that made a man stop in his tracks either.  She was cute, big eyes and an endearing pout, but her body was barely more than a slip of flesh in the yards of Gothic fabrics she wore.

 

Darla had sighed dreamily, “I know.  They’re so innocent, so bright-eyed and bushy tailed,” then she smiled coyly and added, “so ripe for corruption.  You know I’m right.  I always know how to pick them.”

 

“Yeah, well I’m all about your plans of debauchery,” Angel had laughed, eyeing Drusilla’s flowing skirt and William’s wrinkled button-down, “But those two don’t look like party animals waiting to happen”

 

Darla had shaken her head stubbornly, “Oh, she does.  Look at her eyes; she’s already a little wild.  She just needs a push through the door.”

 

Angel surveyed Drusilla more carefully.  She watched the room with rapt fascination, barely aware of the boy still sneaking glances at her across the table.  Her finely boned features and vintage fashioned clothing did seem strangely unfitting when coupled with the dark energy sparking in her eyes.  Angel was still skeptical about the potential roommate bit, but Darla always seemed to know what she was doing.  Maybe she was right about this girl.

 

“Yeah, maybe,” he had assented, with another look at the boy staring wistfully at her,  But he’ll never be anything approaching  wild.”

 

“Oh, I think you’re wrong,” Darla had said, taking his hand and starting towards them, “He’ll be anything she wants him to be.”

 

Truer words had never been spoken.  Angel gave a bark of rueful laughter, the noise breaking him from his reverie.  He looked around the lobby to make sure no one had noticed, hoping that if anyone had, they’d guess he’d read something funny in the paper.  Though given it was the Wall Street Journal, the possibility seemed remote at best.  Shrugging it off, Angel quickly slipped back to the past, picking through the memories that only enforced how right Darla had been about Spike.

 

One in particular stood out from the rest.  He and Darla had been pubbing, as was typical for Friday nights, and on this rare occasion, Dru and Spike had not joined them.  Juggling his party-hard girl and his heavy workload were starting to wear on the younger man.  Angel wasn’t surprised when he asked not to go; his course work was heavier than the rest of them since he was a volunteer tutor in addition to being a student.  Angel gave him a load of crap anyways, but in the end they left Dru and Spike behind.

 

When they came back home, it was crystal clear that Spike’s study plans hadn’t gone over well with the lady.  Angel and Darla stumbled in singing a popular fifties bar tune to find Spike on the sofa nursing a busted lip with a package of frozen peas, a haphazard stack of books beside him.

 

“Hey,” he’d offered lamely when they both burst into laughter, pointing at his injured face.

 

“Get a little rough in the sack, Spikey?” Darla had teased, pausing only long enough on her trek to their room to spare the guy a few extra snickers with the jab.

 

Spike’s eyes had followed her until she shut their bedroom door, her drunken laughter still ringing behind it.  He shifted his sock-clad feet up to the coffee table and sighed at his own closed bedroom door, which, putting two and two together, Drusilla probably locked seconds after slamming it in Spike’s face.  Angel looked down at his roommate, who was in a ratty pair of jeans and t-shirt, looking far too haggard for a twenty-one year old boy.

 

“She’s shitfaced,” Angel said in half-assed apology, plopping down beside him with a jeering grin of his own, “But you do look like hell.  What happened?”

 

“Bad night, mate.  Rather just leave it be if it’s all the same to you,” Spike rumbled miserably through his wound.

 

Angel laughed and shook his head, toeing off his shoes and giving the younger man a sideways smile, “You don’t think you’re getting off that easy, do you?  What happened?”

 

Dru happened,” Spike said a little bitterly with another pitiful glance at his bedroom door and Angel laughed again.

 

“Yeah, I figured as much,” he said, “What’d you do this time?  Break one of her damn dolls?  Or, no,” Angel paused, slapping Spike’s leg in amusement, “Wait, I got it.  The moon told her to do it, right? Or better yet, maybe it was the little birdies?”

 

Spike’s expression turned bitter.  His sullen stare landed on the television, which was on, but muted.  Being young, male, and exceptionally drunk, Angel did the sensitive thing and laughed all the more. When his chuckling finally tapered off, he shook his head and offered more sincerely, “Maybe it’s time to pull the plug on it, man.”

 

Spike’s eyes narrowed, “It’s just a busted lip, Angel.  I’ll wager I’ll survive it.”

 

“Not on you, moron,” Angel said, “On her.”

 

Spike turned to him then, and his eyes were unreadable over the bag of frozen vegetables.  Angel leaned in, eyeing both closed bedroom doors furtively before continuing in a lowered voice.

 

“The girl’s no good for you.  Cut her loose.  You know there’s a whole world of skirt outside this flat.”

 

“Not an option,” Spike said evenly, his expression hardening with his tone.

 

“What do you mean, not an option?” Angel asked incredulously, “There are always options.  Do you want to spend the rest of your life chained to her side?  She’s a lunatic, man.”

 

“I know that,” Spike hissed, “You don’t think I know that?” Then his gaze dropped to the floor and he sighed, rubbing his free hand through his rumpled curls,  Doesn’t matter.  Lunatic or not, she’s the sun and the moon to me.”

 

The statement had silenced him.  What the hell could you say to something that crazy? Being that wrapped up in any one person was just begging for trouble if you asked him.  That kind of adoration wasn’t amazing, it was sick.  It was a fool’s notion, and only someone weak and mindless would follow it.  No one should live like that.  Hell, other than Spike, Angel was pretty sure no one did live like that.

 

“So, are we ready to get coffee?” Buffy chirped pleasantly, announcing her return.

 

Angel jerked in surprise at her arrival, jarred abruptly from his thoughts.  He hoped she hadn’t been standing there long as he caught her expectant gaze, “Oh, hey Buff.  So, how did it go?”

 

“Oh, you know,” she said, taking his hand as he rose from the chair, “It was your standard interview.  We had the questions, the answers, the glasses of water, and of course we had more sweating and nausea than your everyday flu...”

 

Buffy trailed off, pursing her lips thoughtfully as she walked out of the door Angel was holding open before continuing outside, “Actually, the sweating and nausea was pretty much me.”

 

“So what’s the actual position you interviewed for?” Angel inquired as they made their way to the parking lot.

 

“Actually, there were three or four, I guess.  All of them were entry level marketey things, but beyond that, I didn’t get much detail,” Buffy worried her lip, “Do you think that’s bad?  I mean it could be bad, right?”

 

“I’m sure you did great,” Angel said with a smile, wrapping his arm around her shoulders, “You look amazing and with your charm, they’ll probably call you today.”

 

“Actually they will call today,” Buffy said, bumping her head affectionately to his shoulder, “They told me so,” then she stopped and looked up at him, her green eyes clearly asking for something, “I’m just so glad you were here with me.”

 

Angel returned her gaze and smiled, unsure of what she was looking for. 

 

“I’m glad I could come,” he croaked when the silence stretched uncomfortably, “Gotta support my girl.”

 

“It means a lot to me,” Buffy said, “This was hard.”

 

She watched him a little longer, her expression still expectant and Angel felt his neck stiffen in response.  What was she waiting for?  He heaved a quiet sigh of relief at her side when she finally continued their journey to the car. 

 

“So, about that coffee,” she said and Angel checked his watch, stretching his neck left and right in an effort to loosen the tension that had clamped like iron bands on his shoulders.   It was 10:15 and he was already behind schedule for the day.

 

“Do you think I could get a raincheck and we could maybe do dinner?” Angel asked as they reached the car, forcing a bright expression as he moved past her to open her door.

 

Buffy’s face fell instantly, her eyes wide with hurt.  She quickly tried to hide it with a playful pout, “Well, I was hoping we could hang out for a little while now.  You could drink that horrible espresso stuff you like and I could bore you into a coma with a play by play recount of the interview while you hang on my every word and help me not be all anxious feeling.  Which I know, not really the most exciting way to spend a Wednesday.  But on the upside, it would avoid the nasty grooves I’m likely to pace into the carpet if I stayed at the apartment waiting for the phone to ring, and oh my God, I’m channeling Willow.”

 

Angel chuckled, closing the door behind her when she sat down in the passenger seat.  After getting behind the wheel and closing his own door, he turned to respond, “Baby, you know I’d love a play by play recount, but I have some errands I’m already late for.  I’m going to be busy through late afternoon.”

 

Angel started the car and tried to breathe deeply.  He reminded himself that tension was only a temptation; he could overcome it if he stayed focused.  Buffy fiddled with the radio controls sending half-second blips of crunchy guitar and hip hop rhythm through the stereo system.  With each little flash of noise, Angel’s fingers tightened on the wheel, the tension he was fighting rearing up like a samurai on steroids.  Okay, maybe if he stayed focused in solitude. 

 

“What about a little shopping therapy with Willow?” he offered, hoping it would be a life preserver to save him from her sea of nervous energy.

 

Hm, sounds good, but last time I checked, substitute teachers usually work Monday through Friday, you know, school days,” Buffy teased with a smile.

 

“Oh!” Angel practically shouted, smacking the steering wheel gleefully, “I’ve got a perfect idea!  Why don’t I drop you at the gym for a bit?  You can blow off some steam and then we can meet up later for that dinner and the blow by blow of the interview.”

 

Buffy’s expression tightened instantly, “I’m not really feeling up to gym stuff today.”

 

She’d gone to the gym on Sunday like she always had, hoping she could bump into Spike, like she also always did, and get past the big weirdness that was the picnic.  From what she’d witnessed and heard, Spike hadn’t missed a Sunday afternoon at the gym in two solid years.  When he hadn’t shown, she knew the big weirdness wasn’t going anywhere soon.  Which didn’t matter, because hello, just Spike!  She could *not* have cared less.  Really.

 

Angel rounded a corner and tried again, desperate for this tactic to work, “Come on, Buff.  You’re telling me beating the crap out of Spike wouldn’t make you feel better?  He’s probably there, you know.  In fact, you could bore him to tears and then kick the crap out of him.”

 

“Actually,” she said quickly, “I think I might be feeling a little tired.  That interview took more out of me than I thought.  I think I need sleep.”

 

And I still don’t care that stupid Spike didn’t show up Sunday.

 

“You do?” he said, far too brightly, then attempted to cover by casting a concerned look at her. 

 

“Yes,” she said with a nod, then yawned pointedly, “See!  Totally zonked.  Maybe you should just drop me at home for a nap and then we’ll do dinner later.”

 

“If rest is what my lady needs,” Angel said, turning the car to head for home, “Your wish is my command.”

 

********

 

Buffy yawned and rolled over, blinking at the clock on the VCR.  It was 11:30, so she’d somehow managed to doze off despite being a nervous wreck.  Buffy shrugged tentatively.  Apparently the hour of sleep hadn’t worked out the knots of tension in her neck that had everything to do with her interview and nothing to do with Spike’s no show. 

 

Obsess much?

 

Buffy rolled her eyes at herself and stood up, stretching in the sweats she had changed into.  Then she glanced out the window, eyes going wide as she saw the little white postal truck pull up to the apartment mailbox.  Buffy squinted through the window, watching the mailman deposit little paper bundles into box after box.  Then it was her box.  She arched her brow in interest as a thick stack of catalogs was shoved into her slot.

 

Mmm…catalog shopping.  Shopping therapy + couch potato therapy = just the ticket. 

 

The mail truck pulled away and Buffy pushed her feet into her Oscar the Grouch slippers before she headed to the door.  She paused briefly, wondering if she should take the phone in case IYF called, but deciding she’d only be a second, she rushed out the door.  Buffy walked to the mailbox, unlocking it and tugging out the catalogs which, cha-ching! did include a Victoria’s Secret catalog with a pink sale banner emblazoned across the front. 

 

She scrambled back to the apartment, shutting the door and plopping down on the sofa.  As she dropped the rest of the mail on the end table and noticed the blinking light of the answering machine.

 

“Oh my God, I missed it!” she screeched, reaching for the play button.  Just before her thumb hit the button, the phone rang and she snatched it off the cradle.

 

“Hello?” 

 

“Ms. Summers, it’s Tully Blevins from In Your Face Promotions?”

 

Buffy’s fingers tightened on the handset, heart rattling behind her ribs, “Yes?”

 

“I’m calling regarding your interview today,” he said and Buffy gave a little eyeroll.

 

As opposed to calling regarding my budding career as a country/western guitar player?

 

“Yes, thanks for calling,” she said, unsure of what else to say and quite sure that if she tried for anything more complex, she’d produce a stream of senseless babble.

 

“We’d like to offer you the position as a Junior Marketing Assistant,” he said and Buffy instantly leapt onto the couch, pumping her fist into the air and opening her mouth wide in a silent scream.

 

“Hello?” he said and Buffy dropped to her butt on the couch cushion, stammering, “Yes, I’m sorry!  That’s wonderful news!”

 

“Good!  We’ll look forward to having you join our team, Ms. Summers.”

 

“Oh, please call me Buffy,” she said, back on her feet again and doing a little jig around her coffee table.

 

“Okay, Buffy,” Tully agreed, then continued, “The position requires three days a week in office, preferably Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays.  The weekends are evening shifts since you’ll mostly be assisting with shows.”

 

”That sounds really great,” Buffy said, “Will you be training me?”

 

“No, I’m going to leave that to the experts,” Tully laughed, “Actually, I’m thinking of placing you under one of our top promoters, Cordelia Chase.  She’s been handling one of our bar bands and she’d be perfect to show you the ropes.  Since your focus is going to be the local nightclub scene, I think The Cherry will be a perfect way to get your feet wet.”

 

Buffy’s grimaced as if he’d offered her a chunk of rare skunk butt on a slice of moldy bread.  She shook her head forcing herself to be positive, “I actually had the opportunity to meet Cordelia at a recent get together with my boyfriend’s band.”

 

“Yes,” he said, “She mentioned that to me earlier this week.  You should enjoy working with her on Wicked Twist.  They’ll give you a good taste for the industry.”

 

“Sounds great,” she forced, though the idea of working with Cordelia made her consider whether or not a job involving deep-fried chickens might have been a better option.

 

“Good,” Tully said, “Well, I’m glad you came in.  We’ll send you the salary and benefits information and we’ll see you next Monday at 9:00.”

 

“Monday at 9:00,” Buffy said with a nod, hanging up the phone after Harry did. 

 

After a few silent seconds, she let out a hearty “Aaaaaaaaiiiiiiigh!”, jumping back onto the couch and bouncing three or four times for good measure.

 

“I got a jo-ob, I got a jo-ob!” she sang, doing a little cha-cha back and forth on the sofa.

 

Then her eyes went wide and she leapt the coffee table, “Gotta call Angel.”

 

She tapped out the number to his cell phone, pacing furiously back and forth through the living room while she waited for the connection.  His voicemail picked up immediately, so she hung up and redialed, growling when the same message instantly greeted her ears.

 

“Where are you?”  she whined, then shook her head, tapping out the next number that came to mind.  Two rings later, Willow answered.

 

“Hello?”

 

“It’s me,” Buffy said excitedly, “Guess what I just got?”

 

“Hey,” Willow said, then answered, “Um, that really awesome brown jacket you were drooling over?”

 

“Nope, think less, ‘hip for cool summer nights’ and more ‘perfect for the everyday grind.”

 

Willow paused, then added uncertainly, “You bought a coffee maker?”

 

“No!” Buffy said, exasperated, “Let’s try something less clothing, less appliance, and more ‘I might actually be able to buy that coat, because I’m going to have a paycheck, because I got the job,’.”

 

There was another pause while Willow processed the information, then she said, “You got a job with IYF?!”

 

“I got a job!” Buffy agreed, and they squealed together, Buffy bouncing in her slippers.

 

“Oh my gosh,” Willow rushed, “I knew it, Buffy, I just knew it!  Tell me everything!  What’s your title?  Do you have an office?  Ooh, one with a window?  One with a lobby and an assistant who looks like Brad Pitt and also duals as your personal trainer?”

 

“Um, Junior Promotions Assistant, unlikely, really unlikely, and um, hello, this is a job I actually got, not one were reading about in Cosmo,” Buffy responded, ticking off the answers with her fingers.”

 

“Doesn’t matter,” Willow said cheerfully, “Windows and assistants are totally overrated, and now that you have a job, you can just buy one!  Well, a window, anyways.”

 

“Exactly!” Buffy said.

 

“I’m so excited for you, Buff!  So, what did Angel say?”

 

Buffy sighed irritably, “He said to leave a brief message after the tone,” she grumped, then explained, “His cell phone is dead, or he’s out of area or something.”

 

“Oh,” Willow said commiserating with her, “Well, I’m sure he’s going to be totally stoked.”

 

“Totally stoked?” Buffy asked, her brow arched in amusement.

 

“It’s an Oz thing,” Willow giggled, “I can’t wait to tell him.  When are we going to get everyone together to celebrate?  This is huge news!”

 

Buffy’s stomach tightened at the mention going out.  Because Spike was definitely a part of ‘everyone’, and though she knew it was inevitable to see him, it still made her stomach churn to think about it. 

 

“I don’t know,” Buffy said reluctantly, “Probably not this weekend since it’s Mother’s Day.  I’ll have to check with Angel.”

 

“We’ll figure something out.  Everyone is going to be so happy for you!  So, when do you start?”

 

“Next Monday,” she said with a grin.

 

“Cool,” Willow said, then added quickly, “Ooh!  You’ve got to call Xander and ooh, Spike, too!”

 

Buffy winced.  Willow didn’t know anything about the dirtbike ride, and Buffy really wasn’t in the mood to go into details on it now.  She frowned, remembering the coldness of Spike’s stare when they had returned to the picnic.  Her good mood deflated instantly. 

 

“Buff?” Willow prompted, and Buffy shook her head, replacing her grin with determination.  That was going to wait.  She was not dealing with any bad stuff today.

 

“Sorry,” she responded, “Yeah, I’ll call them.”

 

“Okay, well give me a buzz when you talk to Angel about going out.”

 

“I will,” Buffy said.

 

“And Congratulations,” Willow said genuinely, “I’m really proud of you.”

 

“Thanks, Will,” Buffy said, smiling as they exchanged their goodbyes. 

 

She knew she was going to have to explain this situation to Willow soon.  Most likely she’d be doing if after practice because she had a feeling Willow wasn’t going to miss the weirdness between them.  Buffy bit her lip and considered rather or not this was an experience she’d be editing when she relayed it.  Buffy flushed and tried to shove away the image of Spike leaning towards her, his lips parted and gaze smoky and her legs going up in flames under his hands.  Yeah, definite editing would be required.

 

Buffy focused her attention back to the phone, dialing Angel’s number again and exhaling noisily when his voicemail picked up.  She dialed Xander’s home number and after three rings, the other end of the line crackled with someone picking up the phone.

 

“Hello?” a voice answered.  A voice which definitely did not belong to Xander.  Only one person she knew had a British accent and a voice that made her stomach go flippy.  She pulled back the phone, checking the number she dialed in horror.  Okay, right number; wrong person.

 

“Hello?” the voice called again, irritably and Buffy forced herself to speak.

 

“Hello,” she said, “Spike?”

 

Maybe she was worried for nothing, maybe everything would be okay between them.

 

There was a pause and Buffy tensed, sure she heard him sigh.  “Hey,” he said flatly, “Xander’s in the loo.”

 

Yeah, things were several hundred miles from okay.  Buffy clutched the phone a little more tightly, forcing a bright tone, “Oh, well, are you guys on your way out?”

 

“Yeah,” Spike responded in monotone, “Helping Anya move a desk.  Do you want me to give him a message?”

 

“Oh,” she said.  The tension was so thick, she was waiting for it to clear its throat and introduce itself.  Buffy rolled her eyes at the ridiculousness of the situation, then forced herself to focus on the reason she called, “Yeah, could you?  Have him give me a call as soon as he can.  I got some good news today.” 

 

“Yeah?” he asked, still monotone.  Buffy frowned.  This was stupid.  Why didn’t she just tell him?  Was she trying to perpetuate the already painful weirdness between them.

 

“Yeah,” she said, deciding to step up to the plate of maturity and give the news to Spike, “Well, really, you can just tell him¾

 

“Actually, you can tell him yourself,” Spike said simply and Buffy gasped, shocked by his abruptness.  Before she could regain her composure, the other end of the line jostled and Xander’s voice came through her handset. 

 

“Hello?” Xander said.

 

“Hey, Xan,” Buffy said, trying to keep a cheerful tone despite her frayed nerves.

 

“Hey Buff,” Xander said, “What’s up?”

 

“Oh, nothing much,” Buffy said, then with forced cheerfulness added, “Oh, except I got a  job at In Your Face Promotions.”

 

“You got the job?” Xander said, then she heard him hit Spike, “Dude, why didn’t you tell me she got it?”

 

“Didn’t get that far, mate,” Spike rumbled in the background and Buffy’s belly clenched at the sound of his voice.

 

“That’s awesome!” Xander said to Buffy, “The Buffster is a bonafide career woman, now.  So, are we all going out to celebrate or what?”

 

“I don’t know,” Buffy said, blushing, “Is a job a reason to go out and whoop it up?”

 

“A job flipping burgers? No.  A job promoting the hippest most happening music out there?  Uh, yeah, I think a drink or two would be in order.”

 

“Okay,” Buffy chuckled, cheered by his enthusiasm, “We’ll see.”

 

“Talk to the big man and get something together.  Your first drink is on me,” Xander said and Buffy laughed, “Now, here, let Bleach Boy congratulate you.  I’ve got to get my keys.”

 

The phone was clearly thrust into Spike’s hand and Buffy gaped, gripping her handset uncomfortably.  Could this painfully awkward experience come to an end sooner rather than later?

 

“Uh, okay,” Spike said stiffly and Buffy squeezed her eyes shut. 

 

“Hi again,” Buffy said uneasily, surprised when she felt the sting of tears teasing at her eyelashes.  This was so stupid.  She didn’t even care what he thought!  And it’s not like she was losing her best friend or something here.  He was just some guy she fought with.

 

“So, you got the job,” Spike said blankly and Buffy’s lips thinned irritably.

 

“Yeah,” she snapped, and heard Xander shouting in the background, “Just a second, I got to find my wallet.”

 

“Well,” Buffy snipped, “I know you need to go, so¾

 

“Yeah,” he agreed uncomfortably, following it with a forced, “Congratulations, Buffy.”

 

“Thank you,” she whispered, more than ready for the conversation to end, “See you later.”

 

“Yeah,” he said softly, “Later.” After a couple more seconds of oppressive silence, the phone clicked to dial tone.

 

Buffy slammed the handset on the cradle, scowling at her aching knuckles when she pulled back her hand.  She shook her head, furiously trying to recapture her mood, then remembered the flashing message light on the answering machine, which was a welcome distraction from the sinking feeling in her gut.  Maybe it was Angel.  She really needed to hear his voice.

 

She pressed the play button and sat down on the couch, “Hey, Angel, it’s Cordy.”

 

Buffy’s head whipped towards the answering machine suspiciously.

 

“I was hoping to catch you so we could change our lunch to Carson’s instead of Tres Chez since I have a meeting with a client in that area.  If you get this before 1:00, give me a call.” 

 

Buffy zoned out as Cordelia provided a number she could be reached at and an apology for springing the last minute change.

 

“Okay, can’t wait to see you.  Bye!” Cordelia finished and Buffy felt a wave of nausea come over her as she recalled every inch of the curvy brunette.

 

With strangely calm detachment, Buffy contemplated the possible reasons she wouldn’t have known about the lunch.  None of them seemed promising, but she was determined not to jump to conclusions.  When Angel got home, he’d explain everything. 

 

 

“God, that’s great news isn’t it?” Xander said as he drove them towards The Cherry.

 

“What?” Spike said, rubbing the back of his neck, which was aching like a bitch. 

 

“Buffy’s new job!” Xander said.

 

Brilliant, let’s have a nice long chat about Buffy.

 

Spike nodded, flexing his fingers and wishing to God they’d just get there so he could have a cigarette.

 

“I mean, talk about opportunity for the band! Having someone on the inside is going to give us major hook-up potential,” Xander said, then added quickly, “And for Buffy.  I mean, that’s the best part.”

 

Spike gave an agreeable grunt and shifted his feet in Xander’s truck.

 

“Wow,” Xander said, “Is it possible that you’ve run out of things to say?  And while I realize I should be counting this as a rare and treasured blessing, I’ve got to say, it’s a wee bit ooky.”

 

“Got a headache,” Spike said, and he wasn’t lying.  He’d pretty much had a headache since Saturday night when he’d gotten home.  Since several doses of ibuprofen hadn’t done the trick, he was guessing that the headache was a permanent addition to his miserable existence.  Then again, perhaps if he laid off the scotch for a day or two, he might not feel like utter horseshit.

 

“I think the chemicals have finally bled through your skull,” Xander concurred, then tightened his grip on the wheel as he turned into the parking lot.  “Do I look alright?” he asked, eyeing his reflection in the rear view mirror nervously.

 

“I’ve seen dogs with better haircuts,” Spike teased dryly.

 

“Ha ha,” Xander said, then frowned at him, “Seriously, the outfit, the grooming.  Am I saying, ‘Yes I’ll help you with your desk, and hopefully later your pants?’”

 

Spike laughed, then added sarcastically, “Yeah, you’re a nummy treat.”

 

Xander sneered at him, and they got out of the truck, Spike lighting a cigarette the moment his door was closed. 

 

“She said to meet her at the back entrance,” Xander said, leading them around the back.  They took a few more steps and he continued, “I guess there’s a big chair that needs to go too….Oh. my. God.”

 

Spike looked up from the dirt and tilted his head appreciatively at the site that had frozen his friend in his tracks.  Side by side they admired the barely covered backside of Anya Jenkins.  She was struggling with a desk, leaned over and tugging with all her might, her cut off jean shorts inching up a little higher with each tug.

 

“Now that’s a nummy treat,” Spike mused mildly.

 

“So very much the yes,” Xander said, his tongue practically rolling out onto his shoes.

 

Anya suddenly stood upright, turning her flushed face to them crankily, “Well, are you going to stare at my backside or help me with the desk?”

 

“Probably a little of both,” Xander managed with a flirtatious grin as he shuffled forward.

Spike climbed over the desk, to step inside the dark interior of the bar, leaving the end closest to Anya free for the brunette.  The tosser could never say he’d never given him anything. 

 

Just as soon as they had squatted down to get a good hold on the desk, Anya whipped upright again and turned to Xander. 

 

“Wait a minute,” Anya said dubiously, “You aren’t going to require any sort of payment here, are you?”

 

Xander winked and tipped an imaginary cowboy hat, “Well, ma’am I might settle for a kiss from a pretty lady.”

 

Spike smirked at the move, which was pretty ballsy for Xander.  His brows rose in greater amusement when Anya responded thoughtfully, “Well, alright.  Kisses are free, and I’m certainly pretty.  And a lady, too.  Besides, we’re supposed to do that soon, anyways.”

 

She stepped towards Xander with purpose and lifted herself to her tiptoes.  Xander’s wide-eyed shock was priceless enough to break through Spike’s funk.  Or at least it would have if Anya hadn’t curled her hand around his collar just before she kissed him.

 

The memory of Buffy’s hands fisting in his t-shirt sent his headache into overdrive. After enduring a few seconds of their lip smacking, Spike heaved a sigh of relief when they separated.  Today wasn’t a good day to lay off the scotch….maybe he’d try Excedrine. 

 

 

The catalogs in front of her were open, but Buffy wasn’t shopping.  She really wasn’t doing much of anything.  She had failed to get interested in shoe shopping, and had proceeded to pass the time perched on the edge of the couch, crying a little, fuming a lot, and watching the clock.  Three hours after she’d listened to the message, Angel walked in the door with a smile.  

 

“Hey,” he said, dropping his keys and sunglasses on the coffee table before pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

 

“Are you planning on wearing Oscar to dinner tonight?” he asked with a grin towards her feet.

 

Buffy looked at him blankly from her perch on the couch, “I got the job.”

 

“You got the job?” Angel said, sitting down next to her and embracing her warmly, “That’s fantastic, baby!  I knew you’d get it!  What did I tell you?”

 

Noticing her stiffen beneath his squeezes, he leaned back, “Buffy, what is it?  What’s wrong?”

 

“How was your day?” she asked evenly, ignoring his question, “Do anything fun?”

 

“Not really,” Angel said with a shrug. 

 

“Did you get lunch already?”

 

“Yeah,” Angel said, “I grabbed a bite with my stockbroker.”

 

“Oh,” Buffy said, and after a brief hesitation added, “So, does Cordelia use your stockbroker too?”

 

Angel waited, watching her warily until she continued, “Why didn’t you tell me you were having lunch with Cordelia today?”

 

Angel paused, and Buffy watched him speculatively.

 

So that’s why they call it dumbstruck.

 

At last, Angel’s brown eyes flashed and his lips thinned, “Were you going through my planner, Buffy?”

 

Buffy gave a gasp of disbelief, “Your planner?  No, Angel, I was not snooping through your precious planner.  She called.”

 

“She called here?” Angel pressed, and Buffy felt the threat of tears returning, knowing in that instant he had given Cordy his cell phone number instead of their home number.

 

“Yeah,” Buffy snapped, “She called here because she wanted to change to Carter’s, didn’t she mention it?”

 

“No, she didn’t,” he said quietly, and Buffy rushed on.

 

“Well, she had this big meeting with a client near there, so that really would have worked better and why the hell did you lie to me?!”

 

“That’s enough,” Angel said, voice low with warning, “I went to lunch with Cordelia to try get an inside scoop on how far Live Bait could go with IYF from someone who would give it to me straight.  It was for the group, Buffy.”

 

“Do you honestly expect me to believe that?” Buffy asked.

 

“It was a business lunch, Buffy.  I don’t appreciate what you’re insinuating.” 

 

“You know what, Angel,” Buffy said softly, “Maybe you don’t appreciate it.  And maybe it is all about business.  I want to trust you; you know I do!  But when you don’t let me in and you lie to me, how can I?”

 

Angel’s face darkened, but his voice was aloof, “Why am I not surprised we’re going here again?  What do you want me to do, Buffy?  Call you every time I make plans with someone other than you?  This paranoia of yours is getting tedious.”

 

“I’m not paranoid,” Buffy said, face burning at his cool attitude, “I just don’t understand why you wouldn’t tell me if it was all business.”

 

“I shouldn’t have to tell you!” Angel said, with a touch of exasperation, “For someone who says you want to trust me, you sure don’t seem to do much about it.”

 

“That’s not fair,” Buffy said, voice trembling, “I don’t need to know about everything you do, Angel.  I just don’t want to be an outsider in your life anymore.”

 

Angel sighed, pressing his fingers to his temples impatiently, “Buffy, I live with you.  Do you have any idea what kind of step that is for me?  Why isn’t it ever enough for you?  Do I have to give you everything?”

 

Tears welled in her eyes, choking her throat, “There isn’t anything I don’t want to give you, isn’t anything I don’t want you to be a part of.  It breaks my heart to think you don’t feel that way.”

 

Angel’s face remained stoic, but he managed a softer tone, “I know that, Buffy; no one has ever loved me like you do.  But I don’t know what you want me to say.  I’m giving you all I can right now.”

 

Buffy wiped furiously at her tears and stared at her feet, her Oscar slippers pissing her off to no end.  Angel added more gently, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but there is really nothing going on.”

 

She lifted her face, searching for deception in his gaze.  She didn’t find any, but anymore she wondered what she did find in his eyes.  She was beginning to wonder if she’d ever know all of him, and if she wouldn’t, could she deal with that?

 

“Let’s not do this, baby,” Angel said, reaching to stroke her hair, “I love you.  There is nothing going on with Cordelia and me.  You’ve got to believe that.”

 

Buffy sighed, leaning into his embrace hesitantly, “I believe you,” she whispered, snuffling into his shirt, “I just don’t understand why it’s so hard for you to let me in.”

 

“I’m just not good at this, but I’ll try harder,” he said, but she didn’t miss him stiffening beneath her cheek.

 

She leaned back and he pressed a soft kiss to her lips, “I don’t want to fight anymore. Why don’t you take a shower and let me take you to dinner?  I want to celebrate the new job with my little career girl.”

 

Something about his choice of words made her twitch irritably, but Buffy forced a smile, “Can we just order in?  I’m not really up for a night on the town.”

 

“Sure, baby,” he said, charming smile back as if the fight had never happened.  And that was making her stomach hurt worse than Cordelia’s message.  How could it be over, just like that for him?

 

“How about pizza and hot wings?” he said, winking rakishly as he offered her favorite. 

 

Feeling a new wave of tears coming, Buffy nodded with a flash of a smile before getting up to walk to the bathroom. 

 

Once inside, she turned on the faucets, stripped off her sweats and moved into the bathtub, wincing as she stepped beneath the hot stream of water. 

 

Score for the day.  For Team Yay, the new job and the Victoria’s Secret shoe sale, which not so sure can be included on account of being too pissed off to actually select a pair of shoes from said sale.  For Team Crap, there’s the ick conversation with Spike, which shouldn’t count either, and oh, yes, the Angel’s-a-big-stupid-liar episode.

 

The score was even, so why did she feel so damn bad?

 

Buffy let a few tears stream down with the water, hoping the steam would somehow save her from puffy eyes and a red nose.  Truth was, she didn’t really care about how her eyes looked, and no matter how great it was to get a new job, the crap part of her day was winning hands down.

 

Buffy pressed her hands to her face and sighed.  This was as close as she was ever going to get to him.  That much was crystal clear.  The part that was still fuzzy?  Was it close enough to live with?

 

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